Today 26Jan2023: Monday

Today I am sad. It is hard to get the feeling of wanting to cry all the time to go away. I have had it now for a few days. I am considering taking off Thursday and Friday to see if I can visit the art museum or just work on the radio project to find myself again.

It is Monday, a work-from-home day, so I rise at 7AM with my alarm. It is more like a summoning from dark dreams. I dreamed of moving to a new house, and I could not finish as I was alone and had so much stuff to pack and move. As I moved from room to room in my dream, I would find more things that I could not pack and move. As the dream went on, I felt more and more sad to lose so much and overwhelmed. Not an easy dream to shake off!

I work from the back bedroom as my office, and it is already bright when I log on to the Nike network and my computers. During the pandemic, I used to have the Nike laptop on my right, my Apple in the middle, and Bloomberg playing on a secondary screen from my Apple with the sound off and the CC on. Now I just use the two, as Bloomberg would have to be purchased.

My first status meeting is at 7:30, ugh, and there are multiple review requests from India’s day. I listen to the defects in the status meeting while updating the documents with perfunctory reviews to clear as much paperwork for our team as possible. This was followed by hours of more status meetings, all done on Zoom.

I took a break from these mind-numbing tasks and revised my 500-word horror story–It is much improved but still needs work. Every word needs to be essential and add to the work; no word can just stand for one use or meaning. After an hour of work, it is a better story.

I spotted the large foot-long turtle on my neighbor’s lawn laying eggs. The turtle is an invasive species (it has a red stripe on its neck, meaning it is not local), but I cannot kill it–it is too cute and big. It was someone’s pet that they illegally let loose in the local waterways, and it has thrived. I have never seen the eggs hatch, but I assume they must hatch, and the tiny turtles must reach water or be lost to predation.

I returned to the meetings until lunchtime. I finished the jambalaya I made a few days ago after reheating it in the microwave for lunch and watched some more of Netflick’s Wednesday show. I am on episode 4; this is my second time through it. It is good the second time, but I still fail to catch all of the character Wednesday’s quiet statements. Paraphrase: Nobody tortures my brother (followed by and said quietly) except me. My failing hearing may force me to use captions soon.

I head out before 1PM to see Susie at the hummingbird house in Portland (Tigard) at Allegiance Senior Care LLC, 9925 SW 82nd. Ave. Portland (Tigard), OR 97223; phone (503) 246-4116. Hall Boulevard is still closed, but the detour is faster this time–Next time, I will avoid Hall Boulevard. When I arrive, Susie is asleep in her recliner in the shared living room. Jennifer, the weekday day nursing aide, says Susie ate well but was tired again. Susie was sleeping through Harry Potter, her favorite.

I used Susie’s room for a meeting, and then we woke Susie and moved her to her bed so she could be more comfortable, and I could work from Susie’s room with a table, laptops, and the overstuffed chair. I picked the original Mary Poppins, which made Susie happy–she was singing along. We paused the movie when we called Leta, Susie’s mother, to chat and for a few meetings I had to attend at Nike.

As I said, Susie loves Mary Poppins, and she stays awake for the whole thing. I admit I might have absentmindedly sung along while working on a Powerpoint presentation. With the movie done and all my meetings for Monday completed, the night nursing aide put Susie in her wheelchair, and we went for a tour of Metzger Park.

It was warmer outside than in the AC in the hummingbird house and quite comfortable. It was after 5PM, and the warm sunlight did not strike you. We saw older kids and young adults in the park as it was past working hours and school was out for the summer. It was a pleasant walk. There were many dogs out for the evening walk after work.

Soon, I was back at the hummingbird house and kissing Susie goodbye. She was trying to be brave but upset to be left. My heart broke as I went. I headed to Portland to have dinner with Mariah trying to find my happy place–I could not find it. Mariah changed our met to Hopworks off of Powell in Portland while I was driving in, but I could change the navigation to get that to work and arrived only ten minutes late. I had a beer and a Rocket Burger in the bar, and we talked about life and writing. We both agree that many writers need to write as if they only get 500 words!

After dinner, I headed to Wildwood Taphouse and tried to finish the blog there. I had another beer and then chatted more than wrote. I started to feel the sadness fade. I stayed until the last call and closed the place at 10PM.

I then drove home and, there in my office, finally finished the blog.

Thanks for reading.