Today 26Oct2023

Today started at 5:30, as I woke up and could not get back to sleep. It was slow going and too early. I found the kitchen. I opened a can of peaches, spooned out half, and made a bagel-like bread product, locally produced, with cream cheese. I made liberal coffee in the French Press–the taste reminded me that we have a new Speaker of the House, someone I can’t stand (but I wish him well and hope he can make it work). I was in my office early, logged into Nike (my Nike laptop had to restart for some patch), checked emails and Slack messages, and reported my return to work at Sedgwick.

Returning to old habits, I popped into the shower at 7AM and soon was dressed and in Air Volvo. The Thursday traffic towards Nike WHQ was thick, and I did wait for a school bus. I arrived early despite the traffic. I started my usual ninety minutes of status and process meetings. I managed just one before folks came to me to welcome me back and to share their love and friendship. Some have recently experienced a family loss, and we shared our experiences. I spent most of the morning reconnecting and sharing. A second breakfast waited for me (food is provided to the test teams, and we are included in that group by default).

I arranged for the time off (and later tonight ordered the air flights and rental car) to visit Zerida in Texas. I promised to see her when I could, so I will be there on the 10th for a long weekend. It’s just an all-star tour of in and out, but it is what I can manage. It will be great to visit with Zerida.

Today, I found lunch at McDonald’s (skipping the taco salad supplied as I needed a break), Dad’s fav of two cheeseburgers with fries, and then returned to work and talked to people and shocking some folks by telling them about Susie’s death. It was exhausting. I mainly felt disassociated (like in a dream), and at one time, I felt like I was having an asthma attack (because I was–the inhaler helped). While I have had bad days at work, none felt like this: A marathon to think clearly and hold back the flood of emotions.

I did one last meeting, and there I had to answer many technical questions (details cannot be shared here), bringing me back to myself. I understood and could respond to these things and felt more like myself. But I had reached my limits. I left at 3ish and drove home in light traffic.

My No-Knead bread was bubbled and ready for the next step; I popped it out of the bowl, some flout sprinkled on me, and a mat let me form it into a ball, and I placed it on towels, also floured to rise for two more hours. I tried to read.

In the mail was a letter to Susie’s family from the Lakota boys and girls at St. Joseph’s Indian School. They would pray and include Susie in masses at the school. I cried and cried after reading that. The storm, not a tide this time, of emotions hit all at once. It hurt, but I am glad they wrote and will have a mass with Susie’s name.

I rested, and I slept; I was exhausted. I woke to Susie calling “Mikey.” I was likely snoring, and she used to wake me when it got bad. She was not there when I looked for her. I then remembered. It did not hurt this time; it was nice to dream and hear Susie’s voice.

I started to assemble an N-scale building for Richard for the board game Suburbia first player marker. I have to figure out a way to light it. I think I can mount clear plastic over the windows, paint them inside white, and then install some LED lights and coin cells. The model is strong-built, so it should work as a playing piece, and I can cut an opening to put the cells into the building. I am still trying to work it out.

I reheated the pasta and meatballs I made a few days ago in the microwave. I watched more of the latest Mission Impossible movie on my Apple Computer. It is so long I watch it in pieces. For the bread, following the process, I popped the dough, now risen, for my loaf in a preheated Dutch oven. The bread came out 45 minutes later and was perfect, if a bit plain.

Aside: This is the NY Times No-Knead Recipe, but plenty of recipes exist.

I then went to write the blog in the office.

Thanks for reading.