I resisted rising this Sunday morning and have to admit I started only within minutes of 8AM. It was not a Bela Lugosi moment, with me hissing at the sun and saying something about the children of the night’s song; it took some effort to start. It was another sunny and cold morning, with frost reported in higher altitudes in Beaverton. I spent the morning trying to remember Sunday’s events, record them with some skill in the blog, and not make it a boring list of events. I completed it at about 10AM, cleaned up, and dressed for church. Today, a sweater over a dress shirt with sneakers, Air Force Ones.
Air Volvo arrives one minute into the service. I see the damage to the park across from the church for the first time. Logs from downed trees are stacked taller than Air Volvo! The stump is more enormous! The park was destroyed when the trees hit the playground. We would have needed a new church building if the trees had fallen the other way!
Church was always familiar, and I managed to sit in the back with Rev. Wayne Weld-Martin on a chair as I was late. Wayne sometimes needs a little help rising, and I was glad to help. He was happy to see me. I have not been to First United Methodist Church in more than a month due to the weather and my travels.
Our pastor, Ken Wytsma, was covering Acts 19:23- 24 and the story of Ephesians. He then told us that he preached on this same story for Easter and lost 1/3 of the congregation. Ken is struggling with the comforting message that many folks attribute to the Gospel and the belief that everything will be great if you align with the happy message of preachers. To Ken, this story is about radical messages and disruption to the norm, not comfort. He also points out that the translations are tricky as you in the Gospel are directed at a group, not an individual. So when you read that things will be OK, it means the community will be OK–but that does not tell you, personally, it will be OK. Ken points to the Psalms as an example of how hard this is on folks; having faith does not mean it will be fine.
For me, with Susie’s death, cancer, facing surgery for a brain tumor, and me, the corporate warrior, also facing the usual re-org and lay-offs, the message hit a bit too close. I do not believe for a minute I deserve this because of something I did. This is how real life works; it comes with suffering, and you can only control how you react. And while you can think I have a larger plate of pain than most, I am grateful to all the people who made the medical stuff work (and suffered through the earlier cancer treatments to perfect them for me–including Susie) and for the friends and family that help me face it. I am also so grateful that I have been successful in my career and have enough money to travel and care for Susie and myself.
The message from Ken resonates with me. It is not about you, me, but y’all and us. The Gospel is for you (y’all).
After church, I had some coffee and then headed home. I defrosted one packet of skinless and boneless chicken thighs and another still unfrozen pack. I make extra food now that Corwin is here. He is a weight-lifter and eats often. I salted and peppered the chicken and sprinkled it with some Mediterranean spices.
I heated a jar of couscous sauce made in the North African style. It does not have the Italian-style flavor of garlic and onions cooked long, but olives and lemons added to a fresh tomato base. I bought this at Elephants Delicatessen–a favorite. I made couscous to go with it (seems to fit). I heat some spices, almond slices, and cranberries in butter. I then toast the couscous in the pan. I add water (it is very hot) and let that settle with no heat. I grilled the chicken on the grill, using indirect heat to cook it and then letting the flames finish it. Excellent.
I had just one serving–incredible willpower. Corwin loved it. We have some leftovers, as I cooked plenty. I updated my app with my food. I then read and fell asleep for a few hours.
Just before five and after sundown, but before it was dark, I headed out to see my favorite stream in the area. Again, I thought about getting a drone or a tiny boat–I loved to splash around in the water when I was a little kid. I resisted, and it was cold.
My steps broke 5,000 today.
On returning, I started sad tasks. I wrote a note to Fred Hutch Cancer Center on Susie’s passing. I included a copy of her obituary and death certificate. It made me cry.
Next, I sent Harvey, Susie’s friend in Denver, a message that Susie passed. I included a copy of her obituary and packed a dream catcher from the bedroom for Harvey in the large envelope. Harvey meant a lot to Susie.
After that, I finally posted Susie’s obituary to the blog. It is here, and a PDF version is also available. I read it a few times and cried often.
Despite the efforts to reduce calories, specifically carbohydrates, I had two cookies afterward.
Finally, coming to now, I am writing the blog a little early. My eyes are wet, and I am emotionally compromised. Thanks for reading.
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