Day 71: Friday

I was up early, 6AM, and that was more of a summoning than an awakening. Awakening meant I had to leave the world of dreams where I was enjoying the views of some kind of dream city, maybe some dream absinthe, and chatting with some friendly folks, like many of my nights in New Orleans. Sitting at a friendly dream Vampire bar, I felt the pull and the noise, my alarm, a summoning spell back to Beaverton, Oregon now. The translation to our world was rough.

I managed to find my slippers and robe and find the kitchen. It still has not moved, but I am always ready for it to be somewhere else on these reality-exchanging mornings. Coffee was made, liberal style and a banana was the sole breakfast product for this morning. I started to align back to Beaverton.

The first work Zoom call, the 6:30 team meeting, was emotional, and the many names of employees who exited were shared and discussed. The team is distressed. Rajani, borrowing from our boss Brad, shared the emotional chart on grieving that was new to many of our teammates. It is always strange how these old ideas still fit and help. The “dip” in productivity is described. Many thought they were on the other side of the curve, but my experience is that true pain is to come as we try to deal with the consequences of the loss, and we will be on the loss side of the “dip” for six months. It is a year’s journey, I have found. While my grief for my wife, Susie, passing is less sharp, I feel I am still not at the bottom of the curve yet. I am just beginning to understand this is my new life without Susie. I expect the changes at work will take at least six months to absorb.

After that meeting, my next meeting was later, and I read and followed along. Fridays are often not very busy, and today’s was not busy at all. My boss, Brad, took the rest of the day and the weekend off. A good plan. I stayed online and read and followed emails and Slack updates.

Next, we had the weekly SAP Software Architect meeting. We covered the layoff and the new direction of distributing expertise instead of centralizing. The computer architecture teams were hit hard by the layoffs, and we were surprised to lose more long-term friends. These were experts.

We also covered the challenges of various automation solutions. Ironically, we often buy software to automate our software. As you can imagine, this creates very difficult stresses on software development and maintenance that are hard to mitigate. Some of these issues we have been dealing with for years. We will try to work through the issues and produce the best we can while ensuring the risks are understood. I am aligned to action and providing solutions as a Nike IT person.

Lunch was another sandwich, and Mariah suggested dinner, but later, she discovered she had some family things to do and begged off. I made a cold salami sandwich with cheese with a side of pickles. My CPA in Hillsboro called to say that my taxes were ready. So I took Air Volvo there.

I found parking on Main Street, walked over, and got my papers. There was a wait as it is tax season. When it was my turn, I paid my bill and looked at the forms. My refund is an insane amount of money. The US and Oregon government return tax paid on about 80% of the money you spend on medical expenses. This then means I can also deduct taxes and donations even with the SALR (State and Local Tax) limit set by President Trump’s tax changes (costing me this year about $2,000 from my refund–I calculate it every year). I credit Mr. Trump with following his pledge to raise taxes in liberal states. Maybe you don’t remember that pledge, but yes, he did it. So, for me, the $86,000 in medical bills last year returns much of the taxes paid on the money. Also, it is not well known outside of Oregon that Oregon budgets income and refunds any excess taxes as a “kicker.” The two-year budget, Oregon has a two-year budget and has record tax collection, so we get a nice payment from the state. I signed the forms as the surviving spouse. The refunds will appear in a few weeks in my checking account.

On the way to Air Volvo, I passed some Jehovah’s Witnesses on the corner. I thanked them for their work and shared that “I was giving up to Ceasar. What is Ceasar’s,” waving my papers at them. They laughed and said they, too, would soon be doing that. They were happy to be recognized and that we could laugh together.

I moved Air Volvo close to the local gaming store, Rune and Bone, and the owner was in and was happy to see me. I have not been in for a while but always buy something, and we discuss games. Today, I talked about many of the board games I have been playing, most at Richard’s. I was invited to bring my copies of monster games like Lisboa and The John Company (2nd Edition) and teach them Concordia and other favorites. Maybe Evan and I have to meet there one of these Saturdays. I bought a rule book for a new figure-based game like Frostgave but with a setting in 1800s figures instead of fantasy with gothic monsters out of a movie (undead, demons, devils, and like). Napoleon meets Dracula’s story but with miniature-based wargame-like rules and figures. Tempting.

The Napoleon vs. undead game is something that Cory would love. I miss him when I think about playing these games because I always think about playing them with him. Cory passed away, if you dear readers remember, within days of Susie.

I returned in Air Volvo to my home. There, I finished my quiet day with another change control meeting. I made dinner of sweet Italian sausage meat browned, mixed in a pasta sauce from a jar, and cooked some pasta from a box. More of an assembly process than cooking. It was good, and I had a few bowls. I watched the 1967 Avengers with Mrs. Peele while cooking and eating. I watched a random color episode. The storylines are awful, but the acting and jokes are run.

I finished the laundry, did the dishes, and read more Analog stories.

I put away all the paperwork listening to show tunes on YouTube. Punching holes and putting away the last couple of months. I also covered the papers I found that go back almost a year. I have put a pin in 2023. While not as exciting as other tasks, I am so happy to have it all done. It is one of the things to bring closure.

I liked this video that I found today and wanted to share it: When I am gone.

Thanks for reading.