Saturday with Madness

I find myself sad again. This sadness makes it hard to enjoy a sunny, warm day in April in Oregon, even though the weather would have been unimaginable ten years ago. I look at the blooming flowers, red tulips, planted a few years ago. I bought them with Glenda when we visited the tulip fields when she was helping with Susie. I remember showing Susie a picture of them. I am pleased to see them again. A good memory, though with tears, and, to me, a manifestation of what is good in this world. A wood bee, a huge non-dangerous yellow and black insect, has moved into the backyard. It buzzed by. I remember one at Dad’s house and his concern that we let it alone. While eating my dinner on the deck, I see another small bee, maybe a mason bee, crawling on my new, yet to be planted pomegranted tree. Later, I get a text that Corwin planted the tree (I leave a $20 in the frig, cold cash, for the work). I used a light to see it at 10. Perfect. The sadness fades a little bit at a time. The tears, though, will always be part of me.

I rose with my alarm and a text from Deborah. It is always good to start the morning with a text and later call from Deborah. I had assembled the coffee machine before going to bed, and a pot of coffee was waiting for me. There was a banana and recently baked lemon poppy muffins to add to the coffee for breakfast.

I write the blog and publish it. I know there are protests in Portland, but I am not willing to breathe tear gas today. I am happy to report that my friend that went had a lovely time, and the bad guys and the tear gas stayed away. I think that also created some of my sadness. Maybe next time. I stay home and make tacos for dinner, not wanting to blow another $30+ on lunch today. I cook a green pepper and 1/2 an onion in oil and then add hamburger, but I fail to drain the fat, and the mix is a bit oily for my taste. I make the shells from a box but put the cheese in the shells to melt it. I did not have lettuce, but I felt that it was OK this time. I added a packet of low-salt seasoning. I had too many, but I put some away as leftovers.

I am in the transition part of a chapter in my story (book), taking the characters from bucolic to horror. It is a fantasy world-based story. It is hard for me to make it work, and I will add a few words here and there. I have 1,300 words so far in a 3,000+ chapter.

Deborah called me while I was reading (more Jutland) and resting (still feeling both at loose ends and sad). She picked up on the call that I was not my usual ‘Energizer Bunny’ (her words) but quiet. After talking to her, I realized I was moping. I got going on packing and preparing. I empty my gym bag (Deborah has suggested that I remove the items from my previous trips and lighten my load) and remove various papers and unneeded and repeated items. I am short on a few items, and some need replacing. I also tour the backyard and enjoy the flowers and the roses that are all bush-like, promising great things in May. The dawn redwood, a gift from the park next to the hummingbird house planted while Susie was with us, has returned to green and looks happy in its wet spot (it is actually a cedar). The wood bee flies nearby. It is a good day!

I take Air VW the Gray to the pharmacy and get some travel items and easter chocolate eggs for Richard, Lauren, and Kathleen, a small bag each. I am wearing my straw hat, and everyone is smiling both at the hat and the sunny weather. I stop by the carts, and the India-style place is open. They welcomed me back by name (it has been months), and I ordered a veggie curry, and they added naan for free. It is an excellent day!

I take my order home and eat it on my deck with the bees, the flowers, and the promises of my roses. I make a few more edits on my story, finding my way through some of the darkness. I rush a bit as I need to get to Richard’s at 6 for a board game.

I board the EV and remember that Kathleen has acquired a car; I will not take her home today. We meet and play the game I requested, Wonderland Wars, which incorporates engine building, push-your-luck (draw chips from a bag), and an efficiency race into one mad game based on Alice and Wonderland’s tea party. I ask to play this game each year around April 1st. Richard explains the game, and Lauren and I are soon fifty points behind and remain there. We have spread out too much while Richard and Kathleen focus on a few battles. I am playing the Queen of Hearts and get to say “Off with their heads” often, as that is one of my powers for my character in the game.

I like the game, but I am crushed point-wise. Like many race games, once you start slow, you remain behind. I did land lots of points in the last round, but a few unlucky draws from my bag took away my chance to make up for the lost chances. It is part of the mad theme. It is hard to recommend this game as it is around $200 for a copy, and the figures need to be painted. My copy is out to be played, but I have not started the painting process. Luckily, the game comes with paper standees to fill in for the figures.

I return home, reaching home before 11, and soon am in bed. This time, with no coffee at Richard’s, I am able to sleep after reading more Jutland. I see that the author constantly refers to another book without footnotes. I see that copies of this book are priced from $50 for a single volume to $250 for a set. I have seldom seen this book referred to in later books; I resist buying it. Interesting. I do rise before sleeping and look all this up.

And that is the end, dear reader. I sleep until the sunrise and remember no dreams, no trip to Wonderland that I remember.