Friends, I include some of my issues with sadness or depression in this story. I share this to help me and others who suddenly find the world has lost its colors or flavor. I am managing and, like most folks over 50, it is impressive that I have not gone completely bonkers with all the health issues, deaths, and just WTF moments that I have now passed through. This is how I feel most of the time: here. But some days are like this: here.
I know that with every hello there is a goodbye, and sometimes there are too many goodbyes!
I had a headache and coughed when I woke. The cough faded, and soon the headache was in the background. I have lived with them all my life and can ignore them. I slept until around 8, then located the coffee I had assembled the evening before in the kitchen and headed into the office. There I began the blog. I also texted and later spoke to Deborah. We enjoy starting and ending our days together, even when three time zones away.
I returned to the kitchen after completing my usual tasks, which included reading the 100 or so emails, updating Quicken with all my transactions, and doomscrolling. I returned to the kitchen for a snack of bundt cake and saw the counter covered in ants. “They’re back!” In Oregon, you are constantly fighting ants. I sprayed them with cleaner and wiped up the mess. Ugh!
I returned to the blog as I was time-boxed by the later morning church. I managed to publish it, rang off with Deborah to finish, showered, and put on my Pride tie, green sweater vest, and white dress shirt. I boarded Air VW the Gray and soon arrived without issues at First United Methodist Church near the fountain in Beaverton.
I ushered, as is my habit now that Dan has moved to Vancouver, and nobody stepped up. I am the senior usher having out-lived all the ushers who taught the way they like to usher. Today, an event was held nearby, and many people asked to use the restroom. I directed them and offered them coffee. My tie and smile made them comfortable, and I offered them coffee. We also had a few late arrivals for church; I tried to provide them with coffee and bring it to them in the pews.
Dondrea gave a sermon that was uncomfortable with Paul ‘s letters’ usual place in conservative (if not blood-soaked) Christian church causes. Instead, Dondread addresses the more human aspect of Paul’s writing, which is about not being alone when things go bad. God and Jesus have your back, to coin a phrase. Dondrea instead went with a military phrase, “How can we make this more suck?” In other words, accept and embrace those hardest of moments (“embrace the suck”) of cancer, the bounced check, missed promotion, death of friends and family, and all the other failures, disappointments, and just pain the world and your health bring forth. It is not easy, nor can it be, but it is about us remembering God and Jesus (or what works for you, Dear Reader), friends and family, and church (again, or whatever works for you to connect to the other). Dondrea drew applause for her words (which you can see here, recommended).
After church and after some more usher duties, I headed home in Air VW the Gray, but first I stopped by 185th veggies and got some more fresh items. I unloaded the veggies and moved all the board games out of the cargo hold. I changed into a T-shirt and then made lunch.
I had a frozen entrée of Indian-style lamb and some naan, too. I reheated the naan in the oven and the tray in the microwave. I made two pieces of naan, but I should have done just one. My clothing is feeling a bit tight, and the scale says six pounds from beers and good food I have been making have returned to my frame. Oops. More walking and less beer, I think, will be my forward plan.
Aside: I find the carbon cost of shipping frozen naan all the way from India to be a questionable economic practice. I know it tastes like India to me, and if I were a non-resident Indian, I would buy it. Still, it is wasteful to freeze and ship bread halfway around the earth, but itis incredibly good and tastes like India.
I watched the new show Daredevil Reborn while eating and found it to be less impressive than advertised. But I decided I would try a few episodes to see if I get hooked. Later, I watched two more, and it was improving, but the last bit of shoot-someone-in-the-head I thought was too painful and might have turned me off. It seemed real. Yikes!
With lunch inside of me and the food excellent, I decided it was time to drop off Air VW the Gray at the mothership. There is a safety recall that, while not dangerous, would mean the car could turn into a brick if undercharged (I survived my trip driving to and back from California, not knowing that the EV might fail the couple of times I had it down to 10% charge).
I drove to the dealership (I had an appointment on Monday for drop-off), found a line of parked cars in the service area, added to the line, put my spare keys (with the original tag from the dealership still on it, including VIN, model, and color), and headed out walking. I saw the 57 bus pass me by as I was walking to the bus stop. The TriMet 57 bus runs the length of TV Highway from Beaverton Central to Forest Grove.
(Deborah said I looked sad in the picture and was worried).
My phone said I had 12 minutes to wait. I had not taken the 57 TriMet bus in years. I waited and watched the traffic go by. The bus arrived, and I boarded. The driver then directed me to the scanning area, where my virtual card was successfully processed. Yay! I looked, and $2.80 was deducted from my virtual card.
The bus was packed, meaning I had to sit next to someone, and others had to do the same. The bus stopped often, and soon people were standing. Everyone was ignoring each other, and most folks looked like they had been at work (various uniforms and tired expressions). I did not realize the buses were packed on Sunday afternoon, especially since so many people were working. I remember seeing a woman walk by me in a McDonald’s shirt; the McDonald’s was more than a mile away. People are working hard on Sunday, I realized.
Some folks got on and off the bus only a few miles later. Without other transportation, they are spending $2.80 each way. While $5.60 is less than some coffees I buy, it is a lot of cash after taxes for the $15.05 minimum wage in Oregon. To be precise, using ADP’s calculator for Oregon, four hours is just under $50 take-home pay (or just over $100 for 8 hours), meaning that TripMet costs more than 10% of the wages (and 5% for eight hours) for that day. I had a lot of respect for my fellow travellers; that is a hard gig.
I left the bus at 209th and then walked home from there. It is still another fifteen minutes, and I remember Susie used to do this walk for years. I saw all the places she tripped, and I was sad. Earlier, Dondrea’s sermon brought many moments back to me, Susie’s last ones with me, and tears flowed. The colors had run away, leaving me sad. I found the world, much like the salt in the Bible story, to be devoid of flavor and as worthless as dust to me. I just wanted to crawl into bed and hide.
I tried to find the colors again by reading and making tea. I noticed that my walking circle wasn’t closed on my phone. It was sundown, but I walked through the neighborhood seeing many doggies being walked. Tiny dogs jumped and barked, stretching their leashes, while larger doggies were too busy to notice me. Their owners were either apologizing or as aloof as their pets. Cats on their patrols ignored me or ducked into a bush to avoid the chance of contact.
The blackberries, a pest and import, were in full glorious berry treasures available to any creature, often on empty lots and untidy nature areas. Full of thorns and taller than me, they are a fire hazard as they are dried out inside and burn easily. I cut them down anytime in my lawn and collect the pine needles and clippings; fires are terrible here and unpredictable. Hot embers travel far!
The stone fruit was just beginning, and pears were already on the ground and weighing down the trees. Somewhere in my walk, the colors returned, and I felt better. Exercise can bring depression to an end. I forgot that, and I had not been walking for a week. Welcome back, Michael!
Returning home, I chop carrots, celery, and tear up lettuce for a large salad. I add some Greek-style olives and shredded cheese that had seen better days, and enjoy that for dinner. I make tea and have more cake later. I watch more of The Descriminating Gamer‘s reviews of some board games. I found Drachinifel‘s excellent video on the USS Maine explosion, which I watched until almost midnight. Drachinifel and The Descriminating Gamer are both YouTube channels I watch and recommend.
Here and there, I make some edits on my Fantasy Novel, but do not push the word count much higher.
It is late when I finish the story of the USS Maine and do not finish the dishes. The ants do find them. Ugh! But that is Monday’s story.
Thanks for reading!
Alohawild (Michael Wild's) Website 