Author: alohawild

I woke up this Monday with a dream. Susie and I were wandering some huge building, trying to find our way, a usual theme of my dreams. Usually, we get separated, and then I am never able to find my way back to Susie and have to go forward, hoping that Susie will meet me at home. Tonight is different.

In this dream, as I find my way back, Susie has laid down on the bed, wrapped herself in a blanket, gone to sleep, and then wakes to tell me she is tired. I am frustrated and head out to find our way. I turn and look at the building. Susie is walking poorly out of the building in a red silk robe with tiger stripes. She fell flat, and I ran to help, upset that Susie did not wait for me and was likely hurt. But Susie was not hurt. Susie then does various moves you would see in a gymnastic act, smiling and bouncing off the ground, spins, and somehow assembles a wheelchair out of her robe and sits down with a smile. She then makes it all disappear and appears to float over the ground. An audience member appears, laughing and smiling at the act. Susie makes the wheelchair appear again and sits. I reach Susie, hop on the back of the now reappeared wheelchair, and wave to the thrilled crowd. I hear Susie laughing at me and maybe an “I love you, Mikey.” Susie directs us onto the roads, going the wrong way, getting a reaction from me, and the dream ends. I wake, and it is 6ish, and sunrise just lights the room with Susie’s laugh still echoing in my mind.

Before this dream, going backward, at 2ish, all the lights in the bedroom go on (I use Amazon devices to control some of the lights). I ordered the bedroom lights off, “Echo bedroom lights off.” A few minutes go by, and they come back on. And then again. I order the lights to be dim, and that works. Then the lights turn on full power. That never happens. I am slightly creeped out but not scared. I checked with Corwin, and he did not change the lights by accident. The light switch works as it cuts power to the lights. I sleep and then dream of Susie’s show.

Before this, I again did not shower but changed the bandage on my belly incision, and there was some bleeding, but not much. I have a meeting with the surgeon on the 19th, just a few days. I will monitor it and change the bandage regularly.

My head on the left side is a bit sore, too. It stings along the incision sometimes. No bleeding or other issues. I am taking over-the-counter painkillers again to keep comfortable.

Before this, I was reading and eating corn chips with salsa. I had a craving for chips, so I got some on the way home at Safeway. I finished H.P. Lovecraft’s long 140+ page story, The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath, and while it is too long and uses impossible words, I did like it. It is strange to see short sentences and clear descriptions from Lovecraft.

Before this, I was at Matt V’s house eating one of his delicious meat hamburgers (he corrected me by saying that he serves meat burgers, not plant-based ones, for Keto). Today, he made grilled onions to add to the burgers. We met (Scott, Karyn, Mackers, and I) for another 5E Spell Jaming Dungeons and Dragons game, and this was the big finish as we launched the attack to save the known universe (in a fantasy role-playing game, why would you go for some less). Of course, one of our allies turned on our enormous fleet, and our plans were in tatters. We rush to take out the leader of the bad guys, and soon, we are fighting a long battle with the wizards. It was a harsh fight for us, not because Matt V (our DM) was especially cruel, but because we are not good at stopping wizards (not having any in our group). My evil cleric spends much of his spells dispelling other spells and blasting.

We overcame, and in the next game, in two weeks, we will try to reach the leader and save the known universe. It was fun, and I got to do a few evil deeds that Kayrn put an end to (she plays a good character and our leader). We are also happy to learn that our existing characters will move on to the next challenge, saving (as you likely can guess, dear reader) the multi-verse.

Before this, I had lunch at BJ’s Brewhouse. I had spicy peanut chicken with soba noodles and a beer. There, I sat at the bar and watched some of the US Open with the bartender, Nic. This year, Father’s Day was light, and the staff was bored. I had my laptop and revised another Howard story into my new format. I have two more to get ready. I am waiting for the first approval before adding more (I got approved and published this Monday!).

Before lunch, I was at First United Methodist Church of Beaverton. Jack Cone was giving the sermon, and he said as he started his sermon that he was glad it was so cold, as folks would think he was cold and not shaking from nerves. Jack covered the talent story of the New Testament and called on us to be stewards of the earth. He called out the existential threat of CO2 and the impact it is having on warming the earth. He made a call to action, saying that we Americans are good at fixing and making things. As Jack sees it, God has given us an opportunity to fix the air and to return all the carbon back to the earth, and Americans, with our crazy building and technology creation, can do this; it is what we do. Jack believes that God has let us just use the earth and the air until now, but now we must learn to control it, fix it, and make it work for us. Jack calls it an erector set that God gave us, and we must learn how to use it. Jack proposes that we immediately start pulling CO2 from the air, as that will give us time to adjust and find the best solutions. He does not propose to drop gas engines, for example, but to find the balance while gaining time by slowing, stopping, or reversing the increase of CO2 in the atmosphere.

Jack is a professional voice actor and former radio personality. His voice is smooth and slides with just enough emotion to show that he cares about the subject but is not beating you up. He lands his sermon with the right mix of call and information. It was an excellent Christian call for stewardship of the air: Find our service here.

I rose late, and since I had written the blog the night before, I went slow and had coffee, yogurt, and a banana for breakfast. Sleep was broken by an endless, so it seemed to me, proof of hydration. I showered and changed my bandage and soon was in my sweater vest and pride tie for church.

Aside: It is cold here with some rain, clouds, and temperatures even into the forties at night. More April than June. But usually, June is wet and warm. So, the rest of the country is burning and under heat domes, and we are turning back on the heat!

And that is about it for Sunday; thanks for reading.

I had trouble getting started on Saturday morning, and it seemed to get harder as I went on. I finally rose at nearly 8:30 and found my way to some liberal coffee, Equal Exchange, in my French Press. I only had one cup. I added a yogurt and a banana to go with the coffee while I was writing the blog for Friday. With the surprising bleeding from my incision in my belly, I had left the bandage on from the Urgent Care in place instead of showering at night. I try to prevent exposure to pollen in my sleeping by showering at night and then getting into bed. Today, I was reducing intervention on my incision by leaving everything alone overnight.

Everything was fine, and I was able to shower without issue. The bandages had only a little blood, and the blood from the night before was dry. I washed, trying to keep the area dry, but I still got it a little wet. It had no problem, and I was able to cover it, and there were no more issues.

But I was tired, and everything hurt. I had not fallen and bruised myself, but I felt like I had. My legs were sore, and my head ached. Yikes! I wish I had been at the party and dancing my body was reflecting back to me. It must have been a good time!

I made a beef and cheddar sandwich with Thousand Island dressing, cole slaw, and a big dill pickle. My mouth is still too dry from the loss of nerve control (little saliva), and it is a chore to eat. I still enjoyed the sandwich. I think the nerve problem is getting better but improving very slowly.

I am tired of being tired and decided to actually do some work. I started editing and assembling one of my Howard stories, “Howard’s Lockdown.” I plan to publish them in DriveThruRPG Fiction, something Matt V suggested while we traveled together. I have generated AI-based art to decorate the 7,000+ word short story. I am both excited and scared, as this is releasing something I wrote, and I would be disappointed if it was not well received. I start doing the final work and start looking at what else I need. I need a cover, descriptions, and even images of the cover. I look at what others have published, and I am not able to do that. However, I noticed one group of fiction that closely aligns with mine, Delta-Green, uses a template with just some changes. That I might do. I use, of all things, MS Word to generate a cover, and I am able to revise it to fit what I think is a good look for Howard’s stories.

I spent hours adding art, creating a cover, and writing descriptive texts. I also captured an image of the cover. I used all of this after creating an account for publishing. It took me three tries to get everything good, but soon, I had my first publication. I then set it to be visible to the public. I received a response to expect approval or corrections in the next three days! Yipe!

My emotions swing from happy to terrified. What if nobody ever buys it (20 cents a page)? What if people hate it? And then I am so happy to have it out there. Publish, go forward, and write more. That is what I do. I will do this!

I decided not to head to Richard’s today to play board games. Even with the easy tasks I am doing, I am tired, and I am unsure that a 10 p.m. drive back from Portland is a good idea. Also, I would like the bleeding issue to be another day in the past before I put the seatbelt on for more than a few minutes.

I stopped all the exercises, too. I did bleed after the first day of using the stationary bike. I will pick them up slowly again starting on Sunday. There is no reason to make another visit to Urgent Care if only to learn that my pants rub my incision while I peddle!

I began preparing the longest Howard story, the 11,000+ word “Howard in Florida,” the same way. I kept the cover art and updated the text to match the new story. I generated some art using Davinci AI to make images that matched a few moments in the story. Soon, I have a new 21-page document ready to add to my publications. When the first one is approved, I will quickly add to the Howard stories.

I make a veggie and sausage Jambalaya from a box mix. No seafood, as I forgot to get some last time. I followed my usual process, cut up a pepper (an orange one I got just for the color) with an equal amount of onion and celery (known as The Trinity), and added garlic (The Pope). This I let cook while I slice up various smoked and spicy sausages and add them. I add 14 oz crushed tomatoes and a matching amount of diced from a can. I let that cook for a while on a fast simmer. I add fresh green beans as I always like rice dishes with fresh green beans. I pour the spices and rice from a box, add hot water, and cover it. I wash bok choy and add this in the last ten minutes just to add even more greens. I need to raise my potassium level, so I am adding greens to everything.

I might have had three bowls, but at least there were lots of veggies! After the thrush, I still had trouble tasting the food, and it tasted mostly like sharp spices to me. But it was still good.  I rested after cooking for an hour.

Corwin and I decided we needed ice cream and headed to Salt and Straw in Beaverton. I had no trouble driving there, and parking was the usual insanity. Soon, we were in a line outside the door. While waiting, I met Jatin from my last group at Nike, MDG Engineering. He took a picture of us and sent it to everyone on MDG. We chatted and then talked more after we had our ice cream. I had the chocolate stout flavor.

Jatin introduced us to his wife and family. It was nice to chat. I promised to be available when the MDG team wants to meet somewhere or just to say hello. It is always good to see the excellent software engineers at Nike; Jatin is one of the best.

After that, Corwin and I took Air Volvo home. There, I started the blog early as church is at 10:30 on Sunday, which makes it difficult to be ready on time and write the blog. I was also excited to show my publication work. Another adventure and thing for me to learn: DriveThroughRPG Fiction!

Thanks for reading.

Friday was a day of challenges. The steroids were done, and all the side effects of suddenly stopping them happened. Headache, leg cramps, and just plain grumpiness were the highlights of Friday. I rose at 7ish, ready to face the side effects, try to work on my Howard stories, and maybe head into Portland just to walk. But first, I will write a blog and get something for breakfast. Today, it was liberal coffee made in my French press, a banana, and yogurt.

The morning was disappearing fast as I wrote, and I felt uneven, but not the blood-burning feeling of yesterday. A headache did appear on the right side, and my blood pressure was fine. I kept writing and finished the blog.

I went to the bathroom to dress and clean up, and I noticed something odd about the incision in my belly and then blood as it broke open a bit. It was not a happy moment. I had tape and gaze pads, and soon, I stopped the light bleeding and covered everything. F**k! I finished up my shaving and dressed. No leakage.

I was off to Urgent Care, about five minutes away in Air Volvo. It appeared to me that the area had some friction, and that was the cause. It was not an infection. The nurse and doctor at Urgent Care agreed, and since they are in the same system as my surgery, they had access to all the records, so they were OK with me just monitoring. No ER, no need for more treatment. The doctor also checked my breathing and agreed it was not serious and that I should use my existing inhalers. All good.

There was a change in plans. I stayed home, didn’t do much, and let things heal. It was another dull day. I also decided to stop writing for that day, as I can become too focused and miss things. So, I’m back to Dark Sails on Netflix and reading today.

I reheated chili for lunch and snacked because I was still hungry from the steroids. I will try to stop snacking on Saturday. Dark Sails is going in new directions and has become unpredictable again. I am unsure about the changes, but the naval battles and images are excellent.

I cut up three pork loin chops into strips and covered them with teriyaki sauce. I cut up Brussels sprouts and cooked them until they started to brown in butter. I removed them from the pan and then cooked a whole chopped onion, garlic, and ginger cut into small thin strips until browning and the onions looked transparent. I then poured in the pork and sauce. I used a hot pan, and the pork cooked fast and was not tough this time. I put it all together to get it good and hot. While not perfect, it was good, and I felt like I had at least done something today of worth. Corwin liked it. I am trying to eat fresh veggies to improve my potassium levels.

I watched some more Dark Sails and read and went to bed early. No shower, as I wanted the healing to go for the night without disturbing the wound. There is no bleeding, and I just need to keep the area protected.

Sleep was difficult again, more of a fade-to-black. My dreams were intense and about finding my way while traveling. This is a usual theme for me when dreaming. I woke with my arms and legs twisted and my bed a mess.

No more bleeding. No more high blood pressure. My heart rate is back to normal. Sleeping usual dreams. Better, I think.

Thanks for reading.

I had trouble sleeping and was up often, which proved how much hydration was possible. I rose around 8 and started finding liberal coffee and a NYC bagel (thanks, Joyce) with cream cheese for breakfast. I took my last doses of steroids in the morning and at noon. My blood felt like it was boiling. My blood pressure was up, and my heart was beating faster. It is not at dangerous levels but uncomfortable.

I wrote the blog for the first few hours in the morning, cleaned up, and dressed. I finished the blog and decorated it with some photos. I was done just as PT arrived. Today, it was a morning visit.

My vitals, as I have mentioned, were high but not dangerous, and we went over my trip details and my balance issues, which I have developed coping strategies for. PT was happy that I was being careful and that my Bell’s Pasley seemed to be fading. We even took a tour of the roses in the backyard, which allowed PT to see me move on uneven surfaces and speak and direct at the same time. All good.

PT had me use the stationary bike for five minutes, keeping to a 50 rpm speed and low-stress usage. That is now twice a day. We also did my exercises, and PT thinks I need to build up my butt muscles if for no reason to keep my pants on. Funny! I will take my blood pressure before doing exercises (I have a cuff) to make sure I am safe (Friday=128/78, so better).

After PT, I headed to Elephants’s Delicatessen to meet Scott. Scott and I try to keep our weekly meetings. We manage about one every other week. We talked about my health, Scott’s trips, and opportunities that have arisen. It is fun to just chat and stay connected.

I returned in Air Volvo to the Volvo Cave and checked over the recipe I decided to cook. It is a spicy and messy pasta dish from the NY Times—sort of stuffed pasta that was never stuffed and thrown together. It is also bright and spicy, not the hours of cooking for the sauce to create levels of flavor. Also, I don’t have a pan I want to use for the finish, so I will move it all to a large glass dish and bake it.

I’m off to Trader Joe’s to get some things. I need a 28-oz can of peeled tomatoes and a 14-oz can of crushed tomatoes. I also found some lovely bread, wine, and fresh basil. I also got a few frozen Indian dishes, as I like theirs. Back to the house and cooking.

Spicy sausage is fried with chopped yellow pepper (just for looks). I pound fennel to release its flavor. I mix more spices, but not much; just dried oregano and sliced garlic are added. I cook all that in the now-browning meat and then add the canned tomatoes and two teaspoons of kosher salt. I cook it for ten minutes on a high simmer with three bay leaves.

In a large glass dish, I smash up dry lasagna pasta (the usual, not the no-cook version), mixing torn good mozzarella cheese. When done, I pour the meat and tomato sauce into the large glass dish, covering the cheese and the pasta. I add more than a cup of hot water to the dish to cook the pasta and be absorbed while it bakes. I finish off the mozzarella by sprinkling a handful on the top. I then take ricotta cheese and drop it all over the top. Lastly, I sprinkled the whole with more cheese, parmesan cheese.

It was good, bright, spicy, and I had a few bowls. The wine guy at Trader Joe’s recommended a $9.99 bottle as better than their $19.99 Pape wine. I opened that while cooking, and I must admit it was excellent.

At 7, Dondrea hosted Theology Pub on Zoom. The subject was the tension between Faith and Works. We discussed a drive in some Christian groups to drop Works and just focus on Faith and to treat being Reborn as the end of the voyage. In our discussion, we thought that Faith produces works according to the gifts given to the faithful. We all but rejected that Works is different from Faith, but both seem to be the same thing. But we don’t mean that everyone must become some sort of super worker, but that the faithful will find their Works, even something small. It is just a natural outcome of Faith.

We also discussed the illusion that our country was founded by conservative Christian church leaders that is claimed so often now by politicians. In reality, the founders of our nation were a mixed bag of various beliefs, some considered heretical, and all of this information is available in most books about the early USA and colonies. The USA was never founded as a Christian nation; the founders were busy trying to find a way to escape colonialism and the crushing yoke of European nations. It was a journey of survival. This came out of our discussions as we reviewed that some folks claim that Faith goes back to the old USA days; those days never happened, and claim that the US Constitution is a holy Christian document makes little sense.

We closed the Pub at 8, a little early, but it was great to talk about Faith and Works. Michael and Bob’s talk about the early USA and the history of Faith in the USA and colonies was an extra bonus, as they have studied these times in great detail.

The sudden stop of the steroids was already impacting me, and I watched Dark Sails on Netflix after we closed Theology Pub to rest a bit. The show’s story got better (I am more than halfway through season two), and the writing seemed more realistic. There were a few surprises, even a spectacular use of a fireship that had me almost jumping out of my chair–my naval historian showing. Wow!

I went to bed a bit late after showering and taking my usual pills (yay!). I tried to read some more of H.P. Lovecraft’s dream stories, but my vision was blurry after using the special drops for the night (this protects my left eye, which does not shut all the way at night). I did not sleep for a long while but finally drifted off after midnight.

Thanks for reading.

The steroids are making sleep difficult. I find myself resting in the afternoon between doses. With much-disturbed sleep, I still managed to rise before 8 and make coffee. I roasted some breakfast sausages and tried a new way to make baked eggs, but it was unsuccessful. I did my usual blog and Quicken morning tasks. I download all of the transactions with a click and then read them and assign them to categories with the software, trying to guess first. This means I know everything about my finances (except some of the investments I update by hand monthly) and prevent hackers and bank issues from being missed. So far, I have avoided hackers with two-step authorizations and connections approved for specific devices only. I could be vulnerable to a man-in-the-middle attack if some hacker suborns a WiFi location and traces my usage, but I generally use my own hot spot from my iPhone to avoid that risk. At the Volvo Cave, I have a safe WiFi that is very stable (fiber to the house wall) and fast.

I soaked beans overnight from The Women’s Bean Project to make chili. I found this group during the pandemic, and I usually keep a few boxes on a shelf to make some from scratch once in a while. After finishing the blog, doing some dishes, and, yes, starting another load of laundry in The Machine (LG one-door washer and ventless dryer), I started cooking for lunch. I chopped up an onion, green pepper, and four cloves of garlic. This I cooked in a non-stick pan (thanks, Steve) with a lid to get it hot through. I took 28 oz (the big ones) of peeled tomatoes and carefully crushed them with a masher (they will squirt all over if you are careless). I had some aging tomatoes that Linda, my sister, acquired when I was here, and I cut up the remaining good bits and added them. While all this was happening, the beans were boiled and then set on low in chicken stock (what I had in the pantry). I added lean ground beef to the veggies and cooked that until the veggies were almost transparent. As it was lean ground beef, it did not brown that much. The final pack of seasoning from the box was added along with the tomatoes, veggies, and beef. All this was then cooked for another hour. I also added some fire-roasted frozen corn as I like the yellow color added to the chili.

I then made the Bean Project cornbread, which was just terrible. It is too old-school and plain for me. I will cut up the cornbread later and put it in a custard-like dessert. It is just too dry and plain as it is.

I had two smaller bowls. The steroids make me hungry all the time and a bit shaky. I am trying to keep myself level, but I cannot focus very well. My mind just flutters like a butterfly searching for a flower and then fluttering off to the next one. I never liked waiting, and now I feel time moves, so I am trying to smile and wait—it is not easy.

Another set of NYC bagels arrived today. Thanks, Joyce. There is nothing like real bagels.

I finally dressed in the afternoon after the chili. PT did not call, so I decided to do something. I took Air Volvo (I forgot in yesterday’s blog to mention I took Air Volvo to the carwash) to Guardian Games (formerly Rainy Day Games) and talked to the folks there. I am a long-term customer and a known gamer and DM for Dungeons and Dragons. There, I told them I had survived the surgery and talked to Mike about hosting a game there (he loved the idea). I also found that some Army Painter Paint was 25% off, and I picked up bottles of the colors I use most. A new set of maps for my favorite game, Concordia. The maps are Roma and Sicilia, using considerable rule changes for a city experience in Rome and an erupting volcano in Sicilia, Mt. Etna. I could not resist the new addition. Excellent!

I next headed to Barnes and Noble, looking for my favorite magazines, which I am unlikely behind. I found the UK-based electronics magazine and Maker. The UK zine is for the daring and fearless DIY electronic. Maker is more “here is what you can do with kids on a weekend” or advice on doing some advanced stuff by watching these videos. Both are good. The Maker magazine has an article on how to turn a Hot Wheel car into a remote-controlled car with a video feed for your iPhone turned into a headset. That got my attention–I want to build a tiny submarine for an aquarium and drive it with a video feed. Water attenuates signals, so this tiny sub cannot be used in a larger body of water (I believe I read that regular RC penetrates about four feet of water). So, another project has surfaced (sorry, that was unintentional but funny).

I risked a cookie and an iced coffee while I read. I was getting tired, which was good with all the steroids bubbling in me–ugh. I took Air Volvo back to the Volvo Cave. I rested for a bit and then took Corwin to Mexican food. Mine was not that good, so I won’t name the place. Corwin had a large plate and tried a shrimp salad that I had a bite of, which was exceptional. Next time!

Of course, the steroids are three times a day, so I am refueled at dinner time and bouncing again. It is hard to focus, but I manage to put away the suitcase, now empty, and move my travel bag back to the bedroom, ready for any moment to fly away again. That way, I like it. I managed to clear most of the stuff out of the other suitcase I used for my last trip. I filled the recycle bin. It was now an hour later; ugh, I hate steroids.

I started doing research online about publishing one of my SciFi Howard stories. Matt V strongly suggested DriveThruRPG fiction as a starting point. I was thinking of LuLu, which I used before, as it connects to Amazon and the other big sellers, supplies ISBN numbers, and provides a structure to your books. Matt thought my audience would be more receptive to DriveThruRPG and that, too, would be a good place for publishing my adventures there. I looked into it and can create an account. I have to decide if I want to make them my exclusive seller or just one of many (with a 10% difference in pay). With my bloodstream boiling with steroids, I will not decide and will think about how I want this.

Next, I searched for an AI-generated art website; Matt V and I talked during our trip last weekend about how this has made gaming easier by having the DM just cook up a cheap image for play. I found and liked Davinci AI Art and made a mummy rising out of sand in a lost tomb image that fit one of my adventures. It often takes three tries to get something good, and some lines are incomplete on the images. But for a few seconds wait time and five cents a try, it’s not bad. I did not buy the advanced usage for about $60 as I was unsure what I needed. I did spend $13 dollars for more images. I managed to get an Aleister Crowley making tacos image and HP Lovecraft with a laptop that is acceptable to add to the first Howard story I want to publish.

I have decided to offer artists a chance to replace the images for a reasonable fee and credit, with the AI images being placeholders until I get something that I can use at a reasonable cost and expectation. Publishing is more important than perfection.

The cough returns in the evening, showing it is a reaction to exhaustion and not something to fear. I stop, shower, and then read. I am back at H.P. Lovecraft’s The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath, which was in the luggage I put away earlier–I found it at Curious Books in Lansing, Michigan. My copy is a rare paperback and is in perfect condition, so it was not the usual cheap paperback price. I am reading it with care and respect. I am thinking of echoing a story like this for the H.P. Lovecraft Film Festival‘s micro-fiction contest with only 500 words for a complete tale. Nothing like one of my Howard or cosmic horror stories but more of a dreaming story. I managed to turn a few pages. I can’t read, and I can’t sleep as more steroids, the third dose, ruin my sleep and concentration. I rest some. I finally drift into darkness, not comfort.

Thanks for reading.