Author: alohawild

I woke around sunrise, soon fell back asleep, and did not rise until half past seven. I found yesterday’s coffee and decided to use it for today via the microwave. I was not hungry (from a late dinner the night before) and skipped any morning food. Yes, going corporate warrior with just a cup of old coffee and a morning on my laptop.

Deborah sent me many texts and welcomed me to the morning (she is three hours ahead in Michigan). I am always happy to have someone say “good morning,” even if I type it. It is glorious to have Deborah as my girlfriend.

With my dark coffee and my laptop, if I were still employed, I would be in various Zoom meetings, reading endless emails, trying to help direct a project toward clarity and away from the usual chaos, and generally swinging unpredictably from boredom to horror to anger and back (sometimes all at the same time as multiple projects and issues would be happening). Instead, I begin with the electronic house chores and download transactions, review and file them correctly in categories in Quicken, check the status of my IRA (seemingly connected to the Straight of Hormuz status as stated by the White House, with some sudden drops as truth happens), which (for now) shows an insanely easy rise to new highs. Faith in AI, the White House claims, and strange exuberance keep stuffing my IRA with more money.

On money, it is July 1, and all the July expenses hit. I have moved them to use the Platinum AMEX instead of checking (except for the mortgage). Yes, I earn miles, and I can choose how I pay the bills. The health insurance bill is paid on the due date, car insurance is covered, and support for Mom Wild is sent. I still marvel that my max was reached with Regence (health insurance provider), and I pay almost nothing (except for the bill, which, at over $1,000, is nontrivial—$40 for dental—for the cheap plan for one!). Still, it gives me a little pleasure to be independent of any corporate entity and to keep on my PJs until lunchtime!

I have not been focused on church matters and upcoming travel, and Deborah has started asking me questions. We will have a planning moment on Sunday for the upcoming trip to Michigan. I feel a bit guilty for not being heads down on many things, but it feels good to write, play, and find my way again at home. But then I realize I have only been home for five days, including a travel day! I have medical things to take care of these days.

Which moves us to an unexpected change, the dentist’s office wants me in today for my tooth work. Tooth 12, the first bicuspid, has an old bimetal filling that needs to be replaced, and the tooth reworked to cover a wear spot that is slowly progressing toward the root. With allergy season, the idea of trying to breathe with my dentist sharing the same space that enables breathing is not thrilling to me. We agree (after a call back) to 3.

I finish the blog with many distractions of my own making, and still in my PJs, and shop veggies for my soup. I had taken the chicken bones and other remains and boiled them for hours (it was still too watery), then headed to the shower. There (having not yet heard from the dentist), I forgo some creams to allow for a haircut without exposing the cutter to the medications. Ready after all that, I head to Safeway. There, I get some items for other food projects (new yeast, for example), herbs, broth-making concentrate (to add to the soup), and noodles. I return, having tossed the veggies into the watery broth (after passing them through a screen and paper towel) and added my purchases to the mix. I cut up most of the chicken and add it. I let that get hot for 20 minutes (until it reaches a slow boil), then add the noodles. Still not great, but lots of veggies, noodles, and fresh chicken. I might have had three bowls. The rest finds its way into plastic bags, and some will likely be in the freezer soon.

I watched more old BBC shows from the 1980-90s, David Suchet’s Hercule Poirot, while I ate. I tried to relax and nodded off in my chair, but rose in time for my few-minute trip in Air VW the Gray. While it is unpleasant and the thirty minutes or so seem like hours, I focus on the fact that I like my dentist, who combines skills, humor, and a touch of cynicism that makes me comfortable (we often talk about his costs relative to his pay from insurance). I spend most of my time trying to remain calm, counting backward, and seeing how many times I can count from 100 to zero. It is important not to think about what can go wrong (someone is in my mouth with a carving tool, and an advanced Dremel) and to remember that I pay for his expertise (which is excellent), with tough moments having me try to go backward by three. I also imagine the mist and roar to be the sea and I close my eyes and think of Deborah and I walking a Caliornia boardwalk. It is the sea, not a drill, that I hear and enjoy the inner image of the waves crashing in the Pacific. The water is sea mist, and I can almost smell the salt.

And then the drilling is done, and the strange resins are applied and shaped (a bit more light drilling). All done, twenty minutes (or a day, in my experience — time runs differently in a dentist’s chair). I spoke with someone else who still does bimetal. I have discussed this with my dentist, and he believes these resins are better. He understands the use of bimetal and why it is still popular, and I agree with his opinion to use resins. He is a skilled professional, and I will follow these recommendations accordingly. In the same way, I would not let him tell me how to code or load an AI model.

I returned home, cleaned up the mess in the kitchen (it looked like the Swedish Chef had made chicken soup), sat in my chair, nodded off, and woke to a call. Corwin wants to visit, but we agree to Thursday afternoon. I get up and fold the laundry and put it away. I call M@, and we talk gaming stuff. I am thinking of running a Call of Cthulhu game at Rune & Board (if I can get a plan together and they agree) and needed to align my choices and retrieve a few items loaned to M@. We agreed to avoid the material M@ plans for early 2027 (yes, we do plan that far out), and I will pick up some Central American-based Kickstarter items I can use without covering the same area that M@ is using.

I headed to Shake Shack and had a single bacon avocado burger with fries and a Diet Coke, a caloric travesty, and watched the USA finally score the needed knock-out goal to move on to the 16. It has been a long time since the USA made it this far (2008). I was surprised to learn that Germany and Japan were out (I have been too busy to spend hours watching the games). Belgium and the USA are in the next knock-out game. Luck is all I see taking the USA forward, but the team fought hard in the game I watched, though the red card is going to hurt (f**k!).

With the crimes against my weight-loss efforts committed, I headed to First United Methodist Church in Beaverton and followed Dondrea with Z to the parking lot. Z, skipping over Scythe, Concordia, picked Raiders of Scythia (a new favorite) for today.  Z surprised me by raiding fast and furiously, remembering how I played last time and running on high-risk and reward. Z swept up the goals and raided until she ended the game with almost her whole crew “retired.” I had misplayed by not taking a wagon instead of provisions (I ended the game with a pile of provisions unused) on one turn; I knew I had done it wrong but lived with it. I could not then raid on my last turn and break Z’s point spread. I ended six points behind (I missed nine points on the raid). Lesson learned! Next time!

We finished the night playing Flip-7, with me able to be slightly more risky than Z, who had not yet picked up that with just a little more risk, Z would match me, and luck would split us then. I suspect this was my last win!

After that, we chatted for a while, and then I headed home. I had said good night to Deborah in the middle of the game with Z. It is always wonderful to start and end a day together.

I read more and soon slept. I managed to sleep through the night. I had dreams, all forgotten now, nothing scary or repetitive. I remembered waking up from a pleasant dream and needing to remember it for the blog, but alas, it is gone.

Thanks for reading, and I hope, dear reader, that you will wave to me as we pass in dreams, fellow travelers in the phantasmagoric worlds of sleep.

 

 

I finished the day in bed reading and completing the novel Radiant Star by Ann Leckie. I then started a technical book on AI for predictive processes, my interest, and will start The Humans, a gift from Deborah, as my next novel. If you like Ann Leckie’s space opera stories, this is a story that tells the results of the previous novels, and I liked it. I soon was too tired to go on and marked the start of chapter one of the technical book after reading all the “How to Use This Book” section, standard in coding and algorithm books, which this book covers both, Grokking Machine Learning.

Aside: Elon Musk appropriated the term “Grok,” and this book does not cover AI tools or large language models. Grokking is about the predictive model in AI shifting from overfitting (bad) to performing equally well on test and actual data (good).

I closed my eyes, got up, turned on the house fan to move the air (I forgot to turn it back on when I returned), and left the ceiling fan running. I slept better without waking with a headache and did not have to prove hydration, that I remember, nearly every hour like the last couple of days. The dreams came, and they were mundane wandering and traveling in locations I cannot remember. I woke late, after waking for sunrise and rolling over, and did not feel the allergy issues. Better.

I will replace the filter early and will dust and vacuum soon.

Returning to the story and moving backward, I cooked dinner late. I started around seven and had a whole chicken to cook. I sliced up onions to put on the bottom (my rack is long gone), peeled little carrots and added them whole with tops on (French style), cut up some celery (I like to eat celery cooked), and then sliced too many potatos (bad for me), and salted the 4-pound chicken and managed to fit it in the pot with all the veggies (and too many potatos). It was 100 minutes to get it done (and even then I thought it was just done). The carrots were perfect, retaining some crunch, and the potatoes were not mushy. I had mostly white meat. I have returned to watching Dave Suchet’s Hercule Poirot and tried his adventure on the Queen Mary (though I was disappointed that they did not film it on the ship, with their version being brighter than darker wood and without the thick smoke of the time period). I ate my dinner while watching the mystery, which I remembered, but it was still fun.

Before dinner was made, I watched some YouTube on ShipHappens and managed to nod off for Battleship New Jersey’s long talk about the placement of AA guns after WW2 and into the Korean War period. Yes, I could not stay awake for that and woke up after the video stopped and commercials on YouTube were blasting me awake.

Before this, I spent the afternoon and early evening at the local gaming store, Rune & Board, and played my first full game of The Plague of Dracula. This is a solo game. And I set it up and played it for hours as I tried to learn the rules; solo games, by their nature, have many rules and processes to follow. I made some mistakes, and I think next time I will get it mostly right. I need to make some helpful cards on the process and a Dracula standee to represent the bad guys’ attacks. I learned to better defend Mina and Lucy in previous short tries, and neither was turned. Mina played the whole game with a pistol and stayed with Lucy.

I found it, as I often do with solo games, at one point repetitive, and then just advanced to the end. I almost got Dracula as I was down to one ‘bite’ and Dracula to one point, but the vampire won. Next time! I will try to find another day to invest hours and hours. I often find the hours pass by unnoticed.

I nearly missed a good night with Deborah as it was late for her when I finished the game, but we did connect and ended our day together.

Before the game, I was home. I made another sandwich with plain bread for lunch in the style of a muffuletta, and before that, I wrote the blog, made a pot of coffee, dressed, and felt better, but with a headache and allergy issues. I did the usual updates and reading.

I managed to remember to get a postcard out to Mom Wild and was delighted that Highway 405 had not sent me any more demands for payment. I was worried I might have slipped into the Express Lane in error more than once on my trip in California.

Thanks for reading!

 

I rose at 7ish and crawled out of bed feeling more animated than actually alive. I nearly dumped 2x the needed coffee into the filter (returned some to the bag) and made dark, black as the night that was still clinging to me coffee, a talisman to drive off the phantoms of night — liberal coffee brings light to the darkness. All the cereal came out of the box at once. I had to put some back, much like with the coffee. At least the milk did not make a mess. I sliced a banana into my cereal with a butter knife (sharper tools would likely have led to discomfort at this point).  Ugh! My body was resisting use and wanted to return to the soft bed and continue with a vampire Monday (raising only when the sun set). But soon coffee had dispelled some of the would-be petrification, and I stripped the bed, started Monday’s laundry (Friday and Monday are my usual days for this), and managed to start the blog.

Of course, I checked out all my transactions and balances using Quicken. I have a few minor, strange items from the trip, but nothing of high value, and most are now marked as ‘Coffee.’ I watch for repeated small amounts, because if I were stealing money, that is how I would do it. But nothing like that is showing.

I am always reminded of Sherlock Holmes when I think about crime, “The Adventure of Charles Augustus Milverton.” Sherlock talking to Watson about their caper:

“Well, well, my dear fellow, be it so. We have shared the same room for some years, and it would be amusing if we ended by sharing the same cell. You know, Watson, I don’t mind confessing to you that I have always had an idea that I would have made a highly efficient criminal. This is the chance of my lifetime in that direction. See here!” He took a neat little leather case out of a drawer, and opening it he exhibited a number of shining instruments. “This is a first-class, up-to-date burgling kit, with nickel-plated jemmy, diamond-tipped glass-cutter, adaptable keys, and every modern improvement which the march of civilization demands. Here, too, is my dark lantern. Everything is in order. Have you a pair of silent shoes?”

A distant aside: Sherlock Holmes is now fully in the public domain. I even have a text copy of the complete canon. These stories have always been favorites, and my latest AI story in 2600 Magazine features Sherlock Holmes and Watson. Having the text lets me check if certain words and phrases exist in the canon when I try to imitate Doyle’s characters. My physical, fully annotated hard copy version is full of notes. You can find the above story for free online, recommended, and one of their funnest (and shortest) stories I think.

I continued to drag through the day, having to will myself to move. I managed to talk to Deborha here and there and text often, a moment when my blood turned from molasses to normal. With the blog finally done (Sunday was a busy day), I managed to shower, add all the creams to my process, and all that. The laundry is done, some on hangers, but much of it is a pile on a rug, but clean and ready to use. I will get it folded and put away when I am not animated, but alive and moving, again. Maybe Tuesday!

My new shirt (don’t ask how much) from Disney.

The mail includes a gift from California. I saw in the USPS email that Highway 405 had sent me a letter. Yes, I used the express lane on Highway 405 without a transponder or an account, though I was under the impression (delusion?) that EVs were excluded. Nope. Pay! And because I had no account and no transponder to enjoy the pleasures of this highway, 405, that was another $25+ for failing to comply, and 405 mailed me a bill. I was bemused as I had checked the Caltrans and other websites to avoid the problem, but it did not dawn on me that 405 was a separate entity and that I would soon be fated to experience 405expresslanes.com. I paid my nearly $27 for the $1.80 toll on the website (before it doubled), wished 405 well, and hoped this special transportation entity could use my cash to pay for a better warning sign: “Don’t go ‘Express’ here, Oregonians!”

I boarded Air VW the Gray and headed to lunch. I selected Happy Panda off 185th for lunch, which serves Americanized Chinese-style food but still has a decent lunch special. They also serve hot tea and hot-and-sour soup with lunch (egg drop is the other option), and I chat with the server. We talk, her name escaping me today, about my trips and the options for Disney and Universal. The other server and she later were talking about RN vs. LPN, and I suggested to them, they did not mind me being included in the discussion, that my sister and Mom Wild were well served by getting an RN. I also suggested that a Nurse Practitioner is the next option. I suggested that RN provide more options, and that gig work might be a better choice in the future economy, which seems headed toward more gig work options.

The prices are higher, but the portion size is ridiculously huge, and I asked for extra veggies for Cashew Chicken, requesting more water chestnuts and bamboo (and less celery). It was perfect (for what it is). I read my book and now feel better with some food in me.

I next headed to Trader Joe’s off of 185th and filled my cart with many excellent items, including many frozen ones. Deborah lightened the work by calling and walking me through the store to find excellent pre-made protein pancakes (they were delicious this Tuesday morning—Deborah even sent me a picture to help find them), not frozen. I filled my cart with the components for meals I envisioned making in the next few weeks and added some goodies. I did resist the cheese spreads and wine. I left with three bags and then rolled my cart to almost the end of the parking lot. I then, once the bags were in the cargo hold, took my cart and another one from a stranger and walked them across the parking lot. Trying to work the animation off and return to the living.

Next, I went to Whole Foods, which is an Amazon entity and something I try to avoid, but this local one has excellent, fresh, high-quality meats at reasonable prices that last. Too many times have I had to toss meats from other grocery stores or had my purchases seem more like investment options than food. There, I matched Trader Joe’s cost, but with one bag (three from Joe’s). I also went with a whole chicken (raw) that is about the same cost as a cooked one at Costco, but I had not made a chicken in a long time, and I felt it was a good idea. I will also make some chicken soup with it for fun. Though Joan S is right, the Winco ones taste better (for about the same $).

Deborah suggested, and I agreed, that we could watch a show together, so I headed home, unloaded, and put everything away. I had bought some cold cuts for a muffuletta-style sandwich (with regular bread) as I had the olive/veggie spread. I got tired again, the molasses filling my blood again, and took a nap instead of watching with Deborah. We later said good night. It is excellent to start and end our days together.

I made my sandwich with good-quality cold cuts from Trader Joe’s, a slice of cheese, and olive-veggie spread. It was wonderful, but the fresh warm muffuletta bread would have been better (Deborah told me the bread gives the sandwich the name, after muffin, not the olive-veggie spread). I looked up the recipe and will consider it. I watched a show, napped again, read, watched more, and napped again.

Deborah, after being in bed, reminded me that a gift had been delivered. A book, The Humans by Matt Haig, which she recommends. I was thrilled to get a book.

I had it with the tiredness, went for a walk, and felt much better. I think the days of driving had turned me more undead than alive. The movement helped, and so did doing the usual tasks of dishes, making the bed, and checking on my Kickstarter projects (trying to resist more). I soon was reading in bed.

The day passed quickly, too quickly, and I felt better by the end. Less undead and more alive. Sadly, I drank lots of water to help me through the day and enjoyed returning to the same water about every hour throughout the night!

Thanks for reading.

 

 

 

 

I rose around 7 and remembered it was Pride Day in Beaverton and that First United Methodist Church was surrounded by activities. Leadership decided to have church anyway. We present and record the service online, and it would be a shame, I think, to skip when so many watch online. I would later park more than five blocks away to allow for the few available slots (once you managed to get past the police and a slightly confused attendant and identify as church folks, you could use one of the few available ones).

I wrote most of the blog, but was going slowly and did the usual things that made me doubt there was any justice left, such as reading the news, checking my email, and working on transactions in Quicken. Some days seem filled with despair when I read the obvious lies, failures, and cruelty in the news and social media. I find, as I return to my home from a trip, that sadness is not difficult to find, but happiness comes from coffee (liberal), watching the squirrels, seeing the hummingbirds searching my backyard for a meal (and finding it), and cutting my roses to give to others (with the thorns reminding me that one must keep focused on one’s task). Deborah brings me endless happiness as we resume our long-distance love and communication, and we are counting down to our next adventure in Michigan in July (another ten days together). Also, doing the laundry, paying bills, writing, and cooking meals all seem to give a sense of control (possibly delusional, but it still works for me). Board games and role-playing games all give me a chance to push my mind and imagination. I find my way back from the grays and to the colors of life.

With the blog not completed, I head to the shower, do the usual, but return to the creams as my flakes (psoriasis) are returning. The creams are on for two weeks and off for two. I try to correspond these times to travel. I pick a Pride Tie, green sweater vest, and dress shirt. I added dress shoes (which would result in some discomfort later). Leaving my blog unfinished and my computer behind in my office, I boarded Air VW the Gray and headed to Beaverton.

I walked to the church, and the area was filled with rainbow colors. It was a happy day in Beverton. I was welcomed to church and supplied Dondrea and Z with various trinkets from my travels. Dondrea loved the shot glass from San Juan Capistrano, a ‘swallow,’ for those who know the song (here).

I spent the rest of the morning ushering and listening to Ken’s sermon (and singing poorly): “El Roi: The God Who Sees.” This talk was based on the Hebrew Scriptures Genesis 16:13: וַתִּקְרָ֤א שֵׁם־יְהוָה֙ הַדֹּבֵ֣ר אֵלֶ֔יהָ אַתָּ֖ה אֵ֣ל רֳאִ֑י כִּ֣י אָֽמְרָ֗ה הֲגַ֥ם הֲלֹ֛ם רָאִ֖יתִי אַחֲרֵ֥י רֹאִֽי׃. NIV: “She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: ‘You are the God who sees me,’ for she said, ‘I have now seen the One who sees me.'”

Ken reminds us in his sermon that a slave Egyptian woman, running away, gives this name to God, El Roi, and receives the same promise that was given to Abram. Hagar calls God the God that Sees Me. Being seen by people (and God) is one of the strongest human desires, in my experience. The dollar I give is important to the person at a stoplight, but looking the person in the eyes and wishing them well seems just as important in the moment. They have been seen. Again, I wish people on benches well as I walk through parks in Portland. My smile and seeing them has them asking me questions, not for more money or food, but how I am doing. Sadly, my treating them as equals makes them assume that I am too homeless and living on benches. I am one of them and can see them. Of course, there are other words that are inappropriate from many who are ill or desperate, but most are happy to be seen and welcome to their unseen community.

On Pride Day in Beaverton, in this church, Ken reminds us that the outcast, the unseen, people who are different from us, immigrants, are seen by God and have always been seen, and gave God a name. We must serve all communities and people.

I was tired and my feet hurt. I am still tired from traveling and playing hard. I skipped the Pride Day booths, but I did find my EV. Though I found a gray ID.4 just before it, it was not mine. They do look the same! I checked my Maps and realized I was not near my car, smiled, and moved on to it. Oops.

I was tired and decided to head to Red Robin for lunch. They were a bit confused, and someone finally let me sit at the bar. The bartender had three or more tables. I was told that the ice cream machine was down and the bartender had to fix it and serve. I seldom spoke to the bartender again as their duties kept them from providing much service. My lunch was good, and my side of Red Robin’s fries ruined the good calorie and carb numbers of my ensalada chicken platter. I had it with iced tea. I did ask other servers for silverware and napkins. No refills of my drink or fries were offered, and I thought it best to use their terminal and leave. I did leave a full tip (20%).

Returning home in the EV, I learned, as I started my research on what to do with my 2-year lease ending for the EV, that VW had abandoned the ID.4 and most of its EV business (with the ID.Buzz skipping a model year due to poor sales). Looks like my decision to not risk more than a 2-year lease was good. I will talk to Herzog-Myers sales on Friday to see what options they offer. I am leaning towards selling it to the dealer.

I do love the VW, and it is great to drive, but it is technology and not really transport. Tech has quick dead ends, and multinationals and events driving decisions that you have no input into. It is easy to take a loss when retaining older tech. I am moving to divest now, but $ is the deciding factor. More to come.

I watched more of The Agency, finishing the season after Dungeons & Dragons at M@’s place at 5:30. I enjoyed the second season, mostly binging it. We were down a player for D&D, and I missed the previous session. I cannot disclose the material, but I can say we were on edge all night. Our usual tactic of non-violence and trying to sneak our way in and out with whatever we need to get did not serve us well. Instead, we had beasts and other unrelenting enemies to defeat. My character summoned aid and kept my character out of harm’s way to prevent losing my character’s concentration on the spell. I was then able to direct my summoned creature and cast spells, having almost two turns per round. Scott continued to use his character’s non-violent running and carrying to save and to endanger party members, grabbing and carrying enemies away. My character burned almost every spell slot (I had one first-level and one second-level left) and expended all my sorcerer points.

Before tonight, I had noticed that I was not really using all my capabilities and was concerned I was playing wrong, but Sunday night’s three back-to-back battles convinced me that I had the correct build and play for Carter the Great, Sorcerer/Bard. I held back one high-level slot and used it to heal Scott’s monk 2/3 through the battles, as his character had been chewed on.

While playing, Deborah called, and we chatted for a moment. We like to start, even when at long distances, and end our days together. I said good night and later replied to her text, letting her know I was going to bed. All day we keep in contact.

It was a hard drive back as I was now very tired. I arrived home, had a carrot as a snack, and soon was in bed after finishing this season of The Agency.

Thanks for reading!

 

 

 

I rose around 7, late for me while traveling, but I was home. Change can be hard, and the mundane wrapped around me like an old blanket, slightly tattered. A quilt of things that need to be done and about being home again. Shopping for groceries, paying bills, watching the squirrels in the backyard, greeting the neighbors, and the gray and rainy of the Pacific Northwest, which has surprisingly hung on at the end of June. I was living alone, no longer playing house with Deborah in a hotel room, and I missed her. Still, it is good to be back in the happy familiarity of Beaverton.

I returned to unpacking and began my laundry while writing the blog. Breakfast was again, as it was while traveling, a nuts-and-sticks cereal from Costco with shelf-stable milk, cooled to make it more palatable. I like milk with my cereal, and yes, it warms quickly when poured over the flakes and crispies, but something seems off about pouring room-temperature milk onto my cereal (of course, the unused milk must go in the fridge). There was no fruit, and even the milk was from the trip. Shopping is moving up on the priority list.

I opened the windows to air out the house, and the sixty-degree temperatures felt pleasant. The blog, while not exciting, covered a day of driving and was still long, taking much of the morning to complete. The coughing and sneezing of Oregon returned as the desert of California had reduced the moss and mold that haunts me here in Beaverton. I mopped another floor and returned to my shower, which was not as dangerous as a tall tube and did not require stepping over. I enjoyed the familiar process and the warm water at predictable temperatures.

Dressed and laundry finishing up (I have not yet folded it and put it away, nor unloaded the dishwasher). I decided on lunch out. The other choice was to find lunch at various grocery stores and then, after returning home, assemble the elements into something to satisfy my hunger. Hmmm. Nope.

I headed to McMenimen’s Cornilus Pass Roadhouse and Imbre Hall for lunch. It was raining now, and I brought one of my new board games, Rebel Tide, with me, kept it dry, and read the rules while I had some local beer and salad. I had a Cobb salad with chicken. This is a new Civil War wargame that uses abstraction, card play, dice rolling for results (with sliding columns representing various factors), and resource management to recreate most stages of the Civil War. I have played other card-including games for Civil War battles, and thought them excellent. The card play allows for those inexplicable moments in the historical battles (“Lost orders” card, for example, preventing an enemy unit from attacking at a critical moment) that are really impossible to recreate in older all-unit and dice games. The Tide system is used in other wargames covering other periods; if I like it, I might have to get more. But at the moment, I am awash in new unplayed Civil War wargames and will stop purchasing more (though it is hard to resist Kickstarter).

I start towards home, but Bruce Catton’s book The Civil War is highly recommended, and I turn to Beaverton’s Powell’s store and see if they have a used copy for a few bucks. It is a pleasure to be back to driving in Beaverton, not LA or the nothingness of Northern/Central California. It is also pouring rain, a welcoming baptism (though only minutes before I had washed the grime off the EV in the car washer — I forgot to turn off the windshield washers, but no harm), and soon, slightly dampened, I returned to Powell’s and discovered that the Civil War section has moved to the American History section (someone must have noticed finally that there are mutiple civil wars — including the English one — and moved the books). On a near-bottom shelf was the cheaper trade paperback, just under $10, and that, along with some postcards, went home with me.

The exhaustion and mental tiredness came on strong. Also, when I return home, I find some sadness as Susie is not here. I find I cannot escape the sadness, but it seems to be fading, I think. Deborah detects it sometimes before I recognize it.

The Agency is my favorite binge at the moment. I like complex spy and space opera stories, and season two works for me. I especially like Jeffrey Wright’s character, and he is always an actor who dispels any disbelief and feels real to me. I just watched this for a while. I then got back in the Air VW the Gray, stopped by the 185th Corner Veggie place, and got a supply of veggies. There, a family was selling tamales, and I got a supply for $20 and had some for dinner. I continued to bingle The Agency and read also. My reading is Radiant Star by Ann Leckie, who returned to the space opera Imperial Radch universe with this standalone book.

I went to bed, which feels wonderful and so snuggly. Deciding my brain was mush, my feelings confused, and my body tired of it all, I slept. I did not wake until after sunrise. I was tired.

Thanks for reading.