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Day 85: Friday

I put off writing this story until Saturday morning. I was trying to rest a bit and get the coughing to slow. I need to be better for my trip to NYC on Wednesday.

It is the 85th day since I was diagnosed with an acoustic neuroma on my left side. It is a slow-growing tumor manifested by a loss of hearing and balance on the left side (which will not get better).

 

Returning to the story, it was Friday. For the moment, we work from home on Fridays, and summer hours will start in May when we have the afternoon off. That sounds great, except the project never followed that. But I suspect this year it will be better, and we will have summer hours, too.

The layoffs are done for the moment, and we are still trying to understand the new flying formation, which we call it. We still miss the folks we lost. Weekends are good for escaping the chaos at Swift at Nike WHQ.

The day started with waking at 6:30 and not having the status meeting. There was a holiday in India on Friday, so Rajani canceled it. This Sunday is the Spring-Forward time change (f**k!), so the meeting will move out thirty minutes to 7:00 next week. I rolled over and started after 7AM.

I found the kitchen after visiting the home office and checked that nothing was outstanding from India or late at night. Then, I made breakfast. The bagel, still fresh from Joyce (delivered yesterday), was sliced with care with the Vorpal sharp new bread knife (you can easily bleed for your breakfast–I just wanted one sharp enough to make bagel prep easy–this one would impress a Jedi). I used the new glass cutting board with a heavy set chef (looking somewhat like me–Corwin thought it funny) that I bought on my last trip to the coast. It is the perfect size for small work like a bagel. Toasted and covered with cream cheese, the unblooded bagel was ready. Liberal coffee was also prepared in the French Press and subsequently joined the bagel.

The work was hours of status, process, and update meetings—nothing exciting or worth many characters to describe. Our Europe, Africa, and Middle East (EMEA in Nike-speak) colleagues returned home this week after visiting for two weeks. I was happy to see and talk to them a few times over the last two weeks.

Corwin was ill today and barely left his room until the early evening. My coughing and wheezing were harsh as I tried not to use the cough suppressant pills. I stayed home today.

Jack offered to take a box of GoodWill items (minor things from Susie’s room) I had assembled. He picked up the box after I had lunch (a can of chili with some cheese). I had picked up a coin from the USS Midway for Jack; he served on the sister, FDR, which does not exist now. I got to give it to him. Thanks, Jack.

The afternoon was filled with paperwork. I received the surgery instructions today (with a typo on it that was corrected) and had to read them. My plan to fly out after Susie’s service in Michigan has served me well. I was surprised that a second MRI was not planned, but I was wrong. A new MRI is the night before the surgery with special markers I have to keep on my head for the surgeon. I wanted to be home for 24 hours before the surgery, and I was right. I printed out the instructions and questioned some mistakes (Sunday is not the 20th, for example), sent a message back, and received corrections.

Not to be outdone, I was also sent the medical information release PDF to fill out and return. I printed the form, filled in my section, and then copied it again. I used a copy to add in the Sedgewick information. Nike uses an insurance company, the dreaded endless detail-losing and misunderstanding corporate machine that is Sedgewick, to review and approve/decline leave and other like requests. Of course, it is a call center and somewhere else in the world besides the Kentucky address given, and it has long wait times and a ticketing system. Those Republican readers who wish to privatize social security and Medicare, “yea are warned.”

Aside: From what I can find, Sedgewick is owned by the private equity firm Carlyle Group (NASDAQ: CG). The company just had a great quarter. It is one of those complex mixes of a private firm owned by a public company or managed by one and part of its investment portfolio. It is not transparent management, for sure. While I am a capitalist to my soul, I think this is maybe going a bit far.

The doctor’s office surprised me by completing the Sedgewick forms, faxing them back, and even sending me a PDF of the fax. I got this as a message. I sent a copy to Linda, my sister, to consider. She wants to put in a Family Leave Request, but her brothers are not covered unless they become disabled (from my reading online). I should be able to care for myself, with the only problem likely to be my balance. I am expected to take two months to recover–this is considered extreme surgery.

After my meetings finished, the shoe company Slack updates, texts, and emails slowed as usual on a Friday afternoon. I decided to cook jambalaya for dinner, with one box of rice and spices left. I prepared the trinity and the pope (onion, celery, green pepper in equal proportions–the trinity, and garlic gloves sliced thin, the pope). I got those sweating with oil and butter on the stove before adding various sausages I cut into bits. I had pre-sliced meats from the Vancouver Farmer’s Market. I got those in the same pot and let them produce all those good oils. I added some heat (Cayenne pepper). I let that cook until the pan started to show some brown on the bottom. I then added the rice and spices from Zatarain’s One Pot Jambalaya box. While not perfect, the taste is close; it only misses the smoky flavor I tasted in NOLA and is less salty. I added the shrimp (frozen, peeled, cleaned, and tailless) at the last minute. I had two bowls.

Corwin rose, being summoned back to life by NOLA-like food. He had a few bowls and started to watch cable. The cable stopped working. I had to reset my password (somehow, the same password I have used for a year no longer works, like in FaceBook), and soon, I had NetFlicks running again. I watched Kingsman, the original, while I cooked and ate.

I also did three loads of dishes and cleaned some of the kitchen (cleaning more on Saturday morning). I also did three loads of laundry.

The Dark Tower, a Dungeons and Dragons adventure revised for 5E, arrived today. This first sandbox or location-based adventure was a hit in 1979 and is still remembered as one of the great things to play in the original AD&D system. It has been rewritten and updated to the new play styles in 5E. The adventure went from an extensive booklet to a massive set of three books in the process. Adding text for the game runner to use to describe the encounter/event (DM, in D&D-speak) and including the full specifications for monsters, traps, and treasure requires expansion. I was reading this part of the night. Having set aside the detailed story of Lord Nelson for a while.

My weight is 148, and I have managed to keep below my 2030 calories daily for a few days. My pants are falling off now. I suspect my suits fit better, too! I expect I will stabilize around 245 like last time and then start to lose again in a few weeks. This cycle I think is ustual from what I read and folks tell me. I use MyFitnessPal to track this, but I do not always remember to update it. I am not a slave to my phone apps–no, I am not.

Well, that is enough for Friday. My coughing is better this Saturday morning, but I am thinking of staying inside most of the day.

Thanks for reading!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day 84: Thursday

I am ending the day by writing after watching a video on the USS Monitor and The Mariners’ Museum, which holds much of the ship’s remains. I watched this after finally unpacking the boxes from Susie’s room. The video was a distraction from crying.

I have not seen these items since Susie passed away. I cried hard over Susie’s tiger slippers, shoes, and glasses. The shock of seeing them again was something I was not ready for. I knew it was going to be hard. Damn. I am preparing for Susie’s Concert and wanted to include these items. I also wanted to send what we did not need to GoodWill. I have a box to take tomorrow.

I set the other items on the floor so I could see them for a while. Then, I will put them in a box again to take to Susie’s Concert. Seeing them makes me cry, but it feels OK this time. Some items to share and then it will be better.

Before this, I ate the reheated pasta and meat I ordered a few days ago. The cough is much better, but the wheezing is still intense and makes it hard to sleep. I did nod off before a meeting while reading at the house and was late for the stand-up, but it all worked out. It’s hard to sleep, but sometimes, I can close my eyes and sleep. So strange.

Going backward, I came home after 3PM to make medical calls. I have all the papers and numbers in my office (that is why I have an office). I clarified that I should get a copy of my Advance Directive sent to Dr G’s office and that they will do the leave paperwork and look at it soon. I was told to keep the original and provide copies to them and to bring them with me on the day of surgery.

I also updated the phone numbers on various medical accounts on my new phone. I was on hold for fifteen minutes, so I had some time to do that. While I waited, I also updated the Quicken items for February. I think I should check everything again and see what I missed. I just need the bank statements, and I should be ready to close in February 2024.

Recalling the previous evening and after I finished the blog last night, I reconnected to my server account and started up some UNIX Cloud9 Amazon development systems. I hope to return to Python coding soon, and I decided I would be better served doing this on my own servers instead of using my laptop. Afterward, I went to bed, read, showered, and slept most of the night.

But 6:30AM Thursday appeared too soon. The wheezing stayed, but the coughing was fading—better, I think. I made liberal coffee with another NYC bagel and cream cheese. I took all this to the office, and I took a cough suppression pill that made me almost repeat the bagel experience in reverse. But I managed to resist and finish my breakfast, read, and prepare for my day. Air Volvo took me through light traffic, and the frost was light at this time. I was at Swift building at Nike WHQ early today.

Oregon has not had cold, blue-sky March days until now. I have never seen a March like this since I lived in Maryland! It was a lovely day, and I sat in the window of the atrium, my usual spot, to have my meetings. My hearing makes headphones a problem (I can only hear on one side), so I just talk to the laptop away from folks in a large space, which mutes the sound.

Three days early, the data conversions were done without meaningful issues. There is not much to status meetings besides tasks that must be closed early. I met Scott for lunch, and I mistakenly, even when he warned me, had the salad bar. It was beautiful, but two hours later, lunch had made a fast passage—so to speak. No disasters occurred, but I did have to hurry. I am coughing myself and salad-izing myself to thinness. Ugh!

And I think I can stop there. Next Wednesday, I head to NYC to meet Michelle and Cat Smith at Rosevelt Island. The following weekend is Susie’s concert.

 

 

Day 83: Wednesday Back to Work

Despite my complaints about the cough suppressant, it worked and made today possible. I found myself coughing late last night and got up and took one pill and I could rest. My sleep was still broken, but there were moments of peace last night.

My day started with me rising before 6:30 and finding my slippers and robe instead of just putting in for another paid time off day (PTO). I managed to make a bagel with creamed cheese, a NYC bagel (from the Smiths or Joyce, thanks). I made (I found we still had some left) the coffee from Natasha and Jason (thanks!) in the French Press. I carried this bounty to the home office and read and tried to find my way after being out for two days.

At 7AM, I was out of time, so I packed up the dishes, delivered them to the kitchen, and started to clean up and dress. I had noticed my fingers and hands were feeling less. I applied the Utterly Smooth 20% Urea (cow pee) and noticed an improvement. I don’t know why, and it could be a placebo effect, but I will take it. I dressed in a T-shirt under a V-neck sweater.

I skipped bringing coffee as the coughing would make holding that difficult. I also, as I had suggested above, took one dose of the cough suppressant. It rilled my stomach, and I was tired now. The drug slows you down to stop the coughing. All day, I would be fighting against the lethargic effects.

I boarded a frosted Air Volvo. It was 29F (-2C), and I sat in the cold for fifteen minutes while the heat melted the frost. I don’t know how it could have been that long. I rushed in Air Volvo to the Swift building at Nike WHQ, and for the first time, I was later than 8AM. I connected to my first meeting, and there were no issues for our team, which is good. The status and process meetings went on for two hours. I then talked to some folks; some old friends from Europe were here for project work and wanted to chat. Finally, I headed to lunch at noon.

I went with the pop item: Swedish meatballs over noodles with red jam and tall, steamed, thin broccoli trees. I love this dish and usually head to IKEA just to get lunch. I enjoyed that I found it listed in my app by using the camera to match it on the food list. I am surprised by how well this works, but the app is on a server, so it can use some heavy processing on the server and preprocess data as it is not loaded on the phone. Excellent use of AI. I do wonder if the app is recording my choice to establish or to check the AI work. So many ideas flashed through my mind as I used the MyFitnessPal. What are they tracking, and are they validating and retraining?  Are they using my photos, or do they have a set already? Is there a public food picture for AI training (yes, there is)? Yes, my head was full of wonder, and my tummy was full of meatballs.

After lunch, I returned to my usual status meetings. During a break, I headed home to take a new cough suppressant pill, as it was obvious the morning one had worn off. I then had a few more meetings at home. Mariah wanted to meet, and I could use a break. Mariah’s what-the-F**k approach to many problems is often welcome to my sometimes too cluttered brain. I headed out a few minutes before 4PM and got to enjoy Wednesday’s slow traffic all the way. The thirty-minute trip was an hour.

Nudi Thai is a few miles from Mariah’s place and is a noodle place. Yes, it is. We enjoyed some exotic drinks, my without sugar or alcohol (cough suppressants do not mix with booze), and excellent food. I had a wonderful miso ramen with egg, pork, and shrimp, keeping me within my 2060 calorie limit for a day. We talked about investing and higher interest for her savings.

Aside: My weight reached my goal of 250 today; coughing myself thin was not my plan. Maybe I can get to 240 for the surgery in mid-May, as every pound lost reduces my risk factors.

I drove back after having a nice break with Mariah in slightly faster traffic. I did witness fascinating lane changes, and a pick-up truck would rather hit me than make room in a merging lane; it was close as he passed me, blowing his horn.

I arrived home and started on the blog. The coughing is starting up, but I will take another pill later, close to bedtime.

And that reaches the current time–thanks for reading!

 

 

Day 82

I was hoping for a better Tuesday, but the cough suppressant made me quite unwell and took all day to wear off. I was loopy, tired, and not really able to do anything. I think I would prefer the coughing!

I rose about 7ish, logged onto the shoe company, and extended my PTO by one day. I then took two of the cough suppressants. I was soon dragging and knew it best not to drive or make any decisions. F**k!

I wrote the blog until the afternoon. In the meantime, I had a bagel with cream cheese and liberal coffee. It settled poorly, and I was worried I would get to re-experience the bagel and coffee, but that slowly faded. Yikes! Yes, coughing would be better! I easily overdose on painkillers, and I will be careful with the cough suppressants.

I decided that my ability to handle food would be impaired, and the nausea now returning was bizarrely mixed with hunger. Instead of making lunch, I ordered some pasta and salad to be delivered at noon. I read more of the Battle of Copenhagen in 1801 and Lord Nelson until this came. I am still not to the declaration of war yet in the book. It was a world of letters in the early 1800s, and these travel slowly, so it is a strange story to read now in the world of FOX and CNN screaming events at us. 

I ate and felt much worse. I went to bed and managed to sleep until about 4 p.m., with many waking moments. I had it with feeling poorly, and the effects, while depressing me, were fading—I am tired of being sick! I washed up, shaved, and dressed. That made me feel better. I then ate the leftover Chinese-style food from the previous delivery. There was no rice, and that was OK with me.

I talked to some folks, then went to the office, where I started filing papers and finding my desk. I paid some bills and started bringing order into chaos. It was the usual good feeling of taking control back, and I felt better.

Today, I received yet another SMS Defflinger 1916 model. This is the Flyhawk version, a premium waterline WW1 model. This version has sets of etched brass to create an impressive model. It will be at the limits of my skills, but I am sure it will be a lovely addition to my 1/700 scale ships. The laser-cut wood decking will look impressive, but I have not done this on a small scale. I have a WW2 Yamato kit and a Cold War destroyer kit to build after Dad’s destroyer. I don’t know when I will find the time.

I am headed to NYC next Wednesday and will return on Sunday. On Saturday, we will catch Puccini’s Turandot at the Met Opera. I find this a relatively short and approachable Italian opera, and I have never seen it live. The fact that it is set in China and sung in Italian with various Western versions of Eastern music does not reduce the music that Puccini created. 

Look for me in NYC on Thursday (I fly all night) and return on Sunday.

I turn 60 next month (corrected), and with the surgery only less than a month away, I will put off celebrating until the summer.

I then wrote this blog, wanting to finish early.

Day 81: Tuesday Resting

I managed to get some sleep, but I knew the cough suppressant would make me loopy, so I decided to stay home and get a bit better before returning to work. This also allowed me to delay writing this blog until the morning.

Monday started slowly, and I wrote the blog a bit later. I had yogurt for breakfast with the last fine coffee from the Kramers. The cough is much reduced, and the choking has stopped. I kept a glass of water nearby as I slipped some water when my throat felt uncomfortable.

I read often today. I am reading a strange 1972 book on Lord Nelson, The Great Gamble. The book was written after papers from various European monarchs were opened. It is three inches thick, written in a pro-British, unrepented colonial style, and extensively quotes sources with notes. It lists sources in various languages, and the writer, Mr. Pope, thanks his various translators of these sources. I am on page 133, and the war has yet to start; it covers the details of Nelson’s life (including his failing) in detail for the covered time. It covers, almost word for word, the political process that created the war–fascinating but slow-going. To compare it to some current, it is a BBC mini-series. I enjoy the writing but cannot recommend this book, a lesson on how NOT to write history. A guilty pleasure, if you like, along the lines of Doctor Fu Manchu, so terrible it is actually fun (But Fu Manchu books were never accurate). An excellent source and fun if you are immune to strong-willed authors.

Aside: I have found all nautical writers romantic, and the characters’ stories are often larger-than-life. Writers like C.S. Forester seem to be the models. Even when the techno-wizard Dr. John Brooks’s books describe how every shot was fired in the Battle of Jutland after he reconstructed the British gun aiming systems for WW1, it was a love story. It is a romantic attempt to recreate the times and people of the battle. You can almost smell the cordite and the machine oil when you open his books.

Returning to the story, I had some chores that needed to be handled. I cleaned up and dressed. The pain and coughing were much reduced. The wheezing remained and was so loud I thought someone was calling me. My loss of hearing on my left side due to the brain tumor makes my hearing a bit unstable and undirectable. I often cannot understand what I hear or locate it.

I boarded Air Volvo and headed to Walgreens, where they had my prescription filled. I take just one of the cough suppressant pills—it is harsh stuff. I am tired the rest of the day as the pill, a light anesthetic, slows me down, so I cough less. I refuel Air Volvo and then run it through the car wash as the local murder of crows has made another homage to modern art on Air Volvo. I returned to the Volvo Cave and ate trisquet crackers and hummus for the last GrubHub order. I watch some YouTube videos on ShipHappens, watching how they built a shed to work in the wet UK while eating.

I head out at about 2:30 to my first appointment, the lawyers. I use the local lawyers Schmidt and Yee, PC in Aloha, Oregon. I am pretty pleased with them and their associate Scott’s work. Today, they have my revised will, changed now that Susie’s passed, and then powers of attorney for my upcoming surgery (20 May) and the required Oregon Advance Directive for Health Care. You can do the last without a lawyer, but I wanted everything completed and ready. All the health care stuff expires on 31 Oct 2024 or is changed by me. There was a minor fix (they printed out the old copy), and then everything was notarized and done. Dondrea and my sister Linda must sign the directives to accept the responsibility.

When I returned home, I turned down Mariah for dinner because I had a previous engagement and grabbed Corwin for a quiet dinner at the local Mexican place. I skipped the beer and had just the soup, chicken tortilla soup, with chips and salsa as a free appetizer. Corwin ordered soup, an entree, and drinks. I ate slower because the cough suppressant was working. I was feeling better, going slow, and letting the world flow over me.

Ernest leads Hillsboro Python Machine Learning Meetup, which restarted this Monday and every first Monday at 6PM local time. We had an hour of online discussion, and as usual, Ernest talked a mile a minute as he had all these cool Machine Learning Applications in Genomics Life Sciences he has published in the last four years. We are still measuring time before and after the pandemic. I promised to try out one of Ernest’s how-to papers and reproduce the same results using a Linux server at Amazon Cloud. Ernest is interested in seeing how fast and cheaply I can do this. It was fun to geek out with Ernest again.

After that, I crossed Beaverton to Dondrea’s place. Z was there not doing her homework (we both reminded her to do her homework). Dondrea, Z, and I talked about the papers I brought. It was a biz meeting, and I covered my new will, the power of attorney, and Oregon Advanced Directives. Dondrea had to sign the last one. All of this and more will be put in a briefcase I have and given to Dondrea before 20 May 2024, hoping it will not be needed.

I returned home, now very tired but happy to visit (despite the topic). I read, then showered and went to bed. I did manage to sleep at first, but I woke coughing, and after that, I had broken sleep. The banshees were no longer screaming; they were just repeated yelping. I am slowly improving.

Thanks for reading!