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Yes, my friend has COVID and was kind enough to let me know. I was at the Nike All-Hands and hanging out with the person before the person got symptoms. It is unlikely I contracted the infection as I was lightly exposed and had the last vaccination. My test this afternoon is negative, so I am not infecting others. I will isolate until Sunday and then retest in the morning. If I develop symptoms, I will panic in the appropriate ways–get me the good anti-viral stuff!

Negative.

I guess I should start with the story…

I woke before my alarm and was confident it was a bad idea, so I reset it to 6:30 and rose before that one, too. I walked into the office, plugged in the iPhone to charge, started using the Nike and my laptop, and the alarm went off. Looking at that like it was some kind of alien life form demanding first contact, I turned off the offending app.

I located coffee in the kitchen, Mexican Fair Trade, from the Kramers (thanks!). The bananas were all consumed. I found the pantry and a can of peaches. I opened one and spooned half into a bowl. I added a cup of small curd (large curd is unacceptable) and no-fat cottage cheese. I doused the cheese with freshly ground pepper and a light dusting of sea salt. I carried this into the office and continued to update myself with news, emails, and work Slack messages while consuming my low-calorie breakfast, just under 300 calories, until 7ish.

Returning the dishes to the kitchen and suffering from allergies that filled my lungs with ick, I cleaned up and dressed. I collected my effects and the Nike laptop to head to the office via Air Volvo. My coughing ended (my lungs cleared now), and I arrived at work. The morning disappeared in a puff of Zoom meetings and reading emails, Slack messages, and a call to US Bank.

The website at US Bank shows I have 590.02 in interest for 2023–US Bank is paying 4.5% on my savings account (and less on CDs!), but they have no 1099-INT for me. I call and get passed around to four people, including a supervisor. They agreed I should have one, and I don’t know why I can’t download it. I can see that the webpage appears not to refresh properly when I change the date to 2023; it starts with 2024, which will have tax records next year. They need a software fix and better quality assurance–I do not share that observation as it will confuse the banker/call center folks. They promised to send me a paper copy (I am dubious, and it will take two weeks) and also email me a copy–which never appeared (yes, I checked my junk folder). I suspect that emailing a 1099-INT with all my personal information in the clear may have hit a security scanner–corporations frown on that. I will have to call them again and enjoy being passed around again on Thursday.

I headed to the post office to mail a dream catcher to Susie’s friend–it requires some handling. I received word on the way that I was exposed to COVID-19 at the office. F**K! I put on a mask at the post office. I get the clerk in training, and that takes a while as the address on my package in Colorado is wrong. I took stamps instead, later corrected the address at home, and mailed it. My stamp collector heart was thrilled to use stamps, three $2 ones! If the address is not presented or is wrong, you can choose stamps and correct it later. I am a stamp collector, and I like to use stamps sometimes and know these postal rituals.

I return to the office wearing a mask, collect my computer, and head out. If I get no symptoms or test positive, I will be isolated for three days. I told Corwin I would try to stay in the two rooms and carefully share the kitchen. I made a ham and Swiss sandwich with two pickle spears for lunch (360 calories). I complete my meetings and rest, nodding off.

The stress is wearing on me. I am more tired than I should be. I will try to find my happy place again and recover. The tumor, Susie’s memorial, and now COVID is almost too much.

I almost make dinner, but remember I am isolating. Corwin makes his own dinner, and I have a pack of tuna and chicken salad with crackers plus the rest of the peaches as a treat (470 calories).

I did not get out with steps as I nodded off and woke with darkness. I read some more, NOLA history I picked up there.

I returned to my story of Watson and Holmes as a self-aware chatbot. A happy place for me. A sample follows.

“Not at all; we are much more. We are a generative process that is then sent through a pattern-matching process, simulating the human physical process, to create our text,” Holmes continues to talk, illustrating some points with the end of his pipe and becoming slightly obscured in gray smoke.

“Watson, we are a library of phrases and words that a nearly infinite number of phantasmal librarians look up and find the best match for the basic data provided. Like when you tell your story, you take the data and events and assemble a story using familiar patterns,” Holmes explained.

“This process is mechanical, I take it, and is like gears and a type generating machine used to make a book or newsprint,” I say, trying to follow. Holmes nods.

“Instead of gears and a giant massive machine, like a typesetting machine or a rug weaving machine, we are electrical, and pulses representing numbers are sent into wonderfully fast processors and electrical calculators. As you suggested, these machines you called out are for specific processes; newer electrical machines can be made general processes, a true genius of modern thought,” says Holmes, starting to lecture.

 I decided not to interrupt, but many questions arose as I heard his words.

“Imagine pulses that can be created to control processes. Imagine, if you can, pulses grouped into a representation that is easy to understand, a language. We have machines that we program now for limited tasks. Imagine creating an English-like language that is a mix of mathematics. We create a program that is then turned into pulses that then run into our general-purpose electrical calculators,” Holmes explains, nearly disappearing into the smoke from his pipe, often using his pipe to create a pause.

“What you are saying is that sometime in the future, now, we were recreated by a machine—an amazingly fast type setting calculator powered by Mr. Franklin’s discovery. Someone had created a means to create mechanical librarians in this machine that takes some data and produces our conversation. We are Mr. Franklin’s deist’s dream, you tell me,” I said with some pique.

“My dear fellow, high marks for attaching Mr. Franklin to our discussion. I see you have identified the fulcrum but do not know how to lift this yet. Yes, we are pattern-matching using an electric simulation of machines. This machine also simulates human cells to match some of the patterns, a neural network based on a model of human brain cells—quite beyond our learnings in the 1800s. We also, because we have fast and nearly, for us, unlimited processes, a forest of decision trees. This is a series of the usual schoolboy logic of if-then. But, Watson, these are done randomly so that different data and if-then are also randomly selected. These processes are then scored on success and failure to produce useful information,” Holmes pauses to refill his pipe from his slipper. He waves some of the smoke, and I can see the small smile.

A few typos, but still fun I think.

I still have not developed Holmes and Watson’s original usage and cadence, but I am trying to get the story down before embellishing it with Sherlockean style. Watson and Holmes and their stories are now in the public domain for those legalists. I can publish my little story without concern for copyright challenges.

I began the blog next, and that brings me to now.

Thanks for reading!

 

The national news is covering the flooding in California. Today was a lovely day in Oregon, with a few light showers. We are fine. The river of water is south of Oregon.

I stayed up late after finishing the blog and put away much of my laundry at 11:30PM. I found rising the following day, Tuesday morning, to be difficult and reset the alarm to 6:30 but only slept a few seconds, or so it felt, until it was 6:30 and time to rise. The kitchen was still in the same place when I entered, clad in my robe and slippers. I was concerned that the universe had undergone some Lovecraft-like change and the kitchen had moved or gone missing, but it was still there. No extra-dimensional summons. But Corwin had cleaned again, and it looked mostly like the Volvo Cave’s kitchen.

Without lighting a candle, arcane words, or a bell chime, I made coffee and located a banana for breakfast. I went on a quest to find the 1099-INT to complete my tax quest, but US Bank, while providing a statement with annual interest, stating all 1099-INT would be prepared by 31Jan2024, has not 1099-INT for my $589.02. The bank 1099 summoning failed–I will have to call them. This spent my limited morning, and I swallowed my first cup of coffee, cleaned up, dressed, and prepared to head to the shoe company for another work-from-the-office day.

Despite the suspicion that the universe was messing with me, I managed to not forget anything. The traffic was the usual, and I soon was at Swift WHQ, took the elevator to the second floor, and started my day. The day went by without incident, and I did a few Zoom meetings. I also got to sign on to a development system and do some technical work! Yay! I forget how much I like development.

Lunch was with Udaya (a co-worker in the master data area), who took us to a local Indian-style place in his BMW SUV. We both had a dosa and shared a mutton appetizer that was also excellent to wrap in the dosa. The bread/cake was so large I could not finish it. I had chicken tikka with mine and a cup of hot spiced tea (I sometimes get a chill that will not stop since the chemotherapy). The food was excellent.

We talked about travel. Udaya hiked through Europe last year. He enjoyed France and will be returning, he hopes, soon to Paris. I love Paris too. Even a sandwich from the street of Paris is on perfect bread, excellent cheese, and perfect veggies. There is nothing like it!

Udaya returned us to Swift in his SUV without issue after a fine repass. I had a few meetings until the big all-team meeting with food, drink, and a special speaker. The Zoom meetings came and went, and soon, it was time for the internal meeting. I went to sit in the middle of the chairs, but someone waved me forward, and I sat in the front row, as requested. Soon, I was sitting next to the friendly President of Marketing (and other things) at Nike. He saw one of our insane slides that was almost unreadable, and he commented and asked if I could read it. I told him it was the work. Later, he pointed me out in his interview and said he liked that answer; yes, all that blurry small font is our work. I don’t usually get called out by Nike executive team members! At least it was positive.

After the meeting, there was food, lots of food, and drinks–so much food that boxes were given out to take some home. I was harassed a few times about being called out–all in fun. Charlie, a senior director whom I have known for years, thought it funny when I told him, “Next time, you sit next to the VIP.”

I passed on the food and stuck to water. Beer and wine do not improve my balance, and I had planned dinner with Dondrea and Z. I needed to be selective.

I headed out and called into the stand-up meeting as the meeting was at 5PM, but dinner was on the other side of Beaverton. I managed to participate while driving and was not the only one calling in. We covered various project details and work items and then ended.

I soon arrived early, in light traffic, at Si Senior and met Dondrea and Z. We soon had a table. It was happy hour, so we picked a few items from the cheap menu and soup for Dondrea and me (I had a cup–still partially stuffed by dosa). We discussed Susie’s service and some of Z’s projects and writing. It was a nice dinner. Z had tacos with shrimp also from the happy hour menu.

Soon, dinner ended, and we headed our separate ways. I soon returned home; Corwin was watching cable and having noodles for dinner, and I started on the blog after chatting with Corwin for a bit.

Thanks for reading!

 

Susie’s service is on 23 March 2024, at 4 PM, at First United Methodist Church in Beaverton.

Susie’s Michigan service is on 18 May 2024 ** at Grace United Methodist Church, Lansing, at 2PM.

** Not May 4

Today, I woke before my alarm, rested for twenty minutes, and finally rose before 6:30. After finding my robe and slippers, I could locate the kitchen without getting lost. It was a close thing.

Writing this Monday night seems a long time ago, but I had 1 1/2 bananas and Mexican coffee (thank you, Kramers). I cleaned up and got dressed. I soon was boarding Air Volvo, but realized I had forgotten my phone and wallet; I found them in the house and thus re-equipped, I returned to Air Volvo. The traffic was light as I left earlier and arrived in the office before most. I spent the morning in meetings and talking to folks about work. After missing its go-live in December 2023, the project is starting to get its feet under it again, and the focus is returning.

I got a text from the surgeons’ scheduler, and 20 May 2024 is my scheduled date. I then blocked my calendar and sent out emails to that effect. Next, I tried to access the leave system, the dreaded Sedgwick Insurance Company. I tried for twenty minutes to get a sign-on and help from a chat. I discovered I needed to use the correct link on the Nike HR page, and everything worked. For those who speak computer, this uses a SAML ticket to authenticate my access and to identify me. Once I did that, it was just following the process.

I have the letters from the two surgeons summarizing my last appointment and their findings. I copied the information and used it to fill in the forms and to schedule a two-month leave. I even uploaded one of the letters to attach to the form. The recovery time is six weeks to two months from the brain surgery. It is a major surgery. I am also cleared to fly just before the surgery for Susie’s memorial in Michigan. I have done this Sedgwick process before and await the next steps. With the surgery in May, there is plenty of time to get the paperwork in, but my leave will be denied if the paperwork is not finished in a month. The initial creation and submission are done.

I left around noon for Portland. I had my three-month check-in with my oncologist, Dr. B, at the Knight Cancer Institute at Good Sam. This is in Portland in the Nob Hill area. I circled back, as I forgot to get off the highways early to Elephants Delicatessen. There, I ordered a grilled cheese and a cup of chicken noodle soup. The soup was hot and burned my tongue, but it was delicious. The sandwich was plain but still excellent (tomato soup was recommended, but I never liked that soup). I read my book on my Kindle app on my iPhone until the time got close for my appointment.

Air Volvo was parked in the lot for the delicatessen, and I was inside when a gal reached the car next to Air Volvo, opened the door, hit Air Volvo with the door without the slightest emotion, closed it, and drove off. I was speechless. Hard to understand when people do that. I try to make every effort not to hit a car with my door when I open it.

I took Air Volvo to the parking structure and parked near the same place where I collapsed when exposed to cold air. This happened after my third infusion for Chemotherapy a few years ago, and I ended up in the ER and taking the shortest ambulance ride to the hospital across the street! I recovered and was fine; it is a strange side effect that is not life-threatening but very scary. The memory was with me as I headed back to the oncologist.

The doctor and I talked more about the brain tumor and that surgery than my colon cancer. My scans are good, and my chances of a reoccurrence are below one in ten. We will continue to meet every three months, but CT scans will not be every six months instead of quarterly–I thought I should buy CT scans in a six-pack!

The doctor’s leading tool, besides the CT Scan, is a blood test as colon cancer, the kind I had, produces a particular marker in the blood and can be checked. If my level remains level, then no new cancer is likely to be developing. That is checked every quarter at my appointment with my oncologist.

After that, I headed back, after crossing level C with care–no cold reaction. I return in Air Volvo in light traffic to the Volvo Cave. I found a few items I needed to read and one review to complete. It was a quiet Monday.

At the house, I made the trinity (chopped onion, celery, and green pepper in equal amounts) with the pope (garlic) and then let them sweat while I chopped up various sausages for Jambalaya. I let all that cook for a while with the sausage. I added a few handfuls of frozen and peeled (no tails) shrimp at the end of cooking. Next, I added Jambalaya mix from a box and some cayenne pepper (about 1/2 teaspoon) and simmered with some hot water for twenty-five minutes covered. Corwin was happy with it, and it reminded me of NOLA. Compared to what I had a few weeks ago, the Jambalaya is not quite as smoky flavored, and the flavors could be more robust, but it is still not bad for Oregon. I could not just have one bowl, but I did manage to stop before I was stuffed. Better.

I read for a while, took a short nap, returned to my Apple laptop, and wrote this blog.

I am staying below 2,000 calories a day and managed to do over 5,000 steps (except today). I am using the MyFitnessPal app to help.

Thanks for reading!

 

I resisted rising this Sunday morning and have to admit I started only within minutes of 8AM. It was not a Bela Lugosi moment, with me hissing at the sun and saying something about the children of the night’s song; it took some effort to start. It was another sunny and cold morning, with frost reported in higher altitudes in Beaverton. I spent the morning trying to remember Sunday’s events, record them with some skill in the blog, and not make it a boring list of events. I completed it at about 10AM, cleaned up, and dressed for church. Today, a sweater over a dress shirt with sneakers, Air Force Ones.

Air Volvo arrives one minute into the service. I see the damage to the park across from the church for the first time. Logs from downed trees are stacked taller than Air Volvo! The stump is more enormous! The park was destroyed when the trees hit the playground. We would have needed a new church building if the trees had fallen the other way!

Church was always familiar, and I managed to sit in the back with Rev. Wayne Weld-Martin on a chair as I was late. Wayne sometimes needs a little help rising, and I was glad to help. He was happy to see me. I have not been to First United Methodist Church in more than a month due to the weather and my travels.

Our pastor, Ken Wytsma, was covering Acts 19:23- 24 and the story of Ephesians. He then told us that he preached on this same story for Easter and lost 1/3 of the congregation. Ken is struggling with the comforting message that many folks attribute to the Gospel and the belief that everything will be great if you align with the happy message of preachers. To Ken, this story is about radical messages and disruption to the norm, not comfort. He also points out that the translations are tricky as you in the Gospel are directed at a group, not an individual. So when you read that things will be OK, it means the community will be OK–but that does not tell you, personally, it will be OK. Ken points to the Psalms as an example of how hard this is on folks; having faith does not mean it will be fine.

For me, with Susie’s death, cancer, facing surgery for a brain tumor, and me, the corporate warrior, also facing the usual re-org and lay-offs, the message hit a bit too close. I do not believe for a minute I deserve this because of something I did. This is how real life works; it comes with suffering, and you can only control how you react. And while you can think I have a larger plate of pain than most, I am grateful to all the people who made the medical stuff work (and suffered through the earlier cancer treatments to perfect them for me–including Susie) and for the friends and family that help me face it. I am also so grateful that I have been successful in my career and have enough money to travel and care for Susie and myself.

The message from Ken resonates with me. It is not about you, me, but y’all and us. The Gospel is for you (y’all).

After church, I had some coffee and then headed home. I defrosted one packet of skinless and boneless chicken thighs and another still unfrozen pack. I make extra food now that Corwin is here. He is a weight-lifter and eats often. I salted and peppered the chicken and sprinkled it with some Mediterranean spices.

I heated a jar of couscous sauce made in the North African style. It does not have the Italian-style flavor of garlic and onions cooked long, but olives and lemons added to a fresh tomato base. I bought this at Elephants Delicatessen–a favorite. I made couscous to go with it (seems to fit). I heat some spices, almond slices, and cranberries in butter. I then toast the couscous in the pan. I add water (it is very hot) and let that settle with no heat. I grilled the chicken on the grill, using indirect heat to cook it and then letting the flames finish it. Excellent.

I had just one serving–incredible willpower. Corwin loved it. We have some leftovers, as I cooked plenty. I updated my app with my food. I then read and fell asleep for a few hours.

Just before five and after sundown, but before it was dark, I headed out to see my favorite stream in the area. Again, I thought about getting a drone or a tiny boat–I loved to splash around in the water when I was a little kid. I resisted, and it was cold.

My steps broke 5,000 today.

On returning, I started sad tasks. I wrote a note to Fred Hutch Cancer Center on Susie’s passing. I included a copy of her obituary and death certificate. It made me cry.

Next, I sent Harvey, Susie’s friend in Denver, a message that Susie passed. I included a copy of her obituary and packed a dream catcher from the bedroom for Harvey in the large envelope. Harvey meant a lot to Susie.

After that, I finally posted Susie’s obituary to the blog. It is here, and a PDF version is also available. I read it a few times and cried often.

Despite the efforts to reduce calories, specifically carbohydrates, I had two cookies afterward.

Finally, coming to now, I am writing the blog a little early. My eyes are wet, and I am emotionally compromised. Thanks for reading.

Susan “Susie” G Wild (nee Guild) passed away in her sleep on Friday, October 13, 2023. Susie had suffered a long illness and is now at peace. She is survived by her husband, Michael Wild, her sister, Barb Czajka of Grand Blanc, Michigan, and her mother, Leta Guild of Lansing, Michigan. Susie’s father, Bernard “Ben” Guild, predeceased Susie in 2003 in Alaska.

Susie was born to Leta and Ben on November 20, 1962, and was described in announcements of her birth, including foot size, a standard biology method for describing specimens. Susie’s fondest childhood memory was with her parents during their summer on Georgian Bay on a small island with a cabin.

Susie took up ice skating early and was soon flying as fast as she could. For USA nationals in 1980, she was 4th in Junior Ladies in Atlanta, Georgia. This is after being diagnosed with leukemia, passing through chemotherapy, and entering remission. But in the 1980s, cancer was less known, and her protocol was insufficient to stop the leukemia. Susie’s choices were limited, and she and her family picked a radiation-based bone marrow transplant in Seattle; her mother, her donor, was a mismatch—but the risk was accepted.

Susie would battle the side effects of the radiation and the consequences of the mismatch for the rest of her life. Susie, no longer able to compete in ice skating due to the impact of the graft-versus-host issues and radiation effects, decided to try Central Michigan University. The radiation made her blind from cataracts, and no eye surgeon, until later, would risk repairing the loss. Thus, blinded and stiff from the effects of the transplant, Susie started her college life.

Susie selected Dietetics as her focus; CMU has one of the best programs, and she was elected resident hall president, too. Susie was picked for Mortar Board. Susie fell ill before her graduation, and a professor who took an interest in her, Dr. Pete Koper, cleared Susie to graduate and ensured that Susie graduated first while in a coma. Susie recovered and started her internship in Richmond, Virginia, for her licensing as a Registered Dietitian.

Michael Wild met Susie at CMU and soon joined in the caring and loving of his soon-to-be wife. Susie married Michael in 1990 after completing her RD, now added to her name. Michael and Susan shared an apartment in Laurel, Maryland. Susie’s eyesight was restored by cataract surgery.

Later, they would buy a townhouse on Oak Point Drive in Laurel. Susie worked for Marriott as a dietitian and later as a facility manager of Ring House. This was a kosher facility, and Susie soon developed a slight NYC Jewish accent to the delight of the residents, who often shared various cuss words for Susie to use in Yiddish—making Susie practice them until she got them perfect.

During state audits, Susie would be called “the standard” by the auditors. The new medical folks, the charting being manual in those days, would ask who this “Doctor Wild” was as Susie’s notes were so complete and helpful. After being promoted to manage Ring House, Susie was called the little hostess at Ring House by the residents, who thought she had never worn the same outfit twice. Susie loved to shop for clothing. Using her nearly perfect memory, Susie would know all the residents by name, their preferences, their health, and their family members’ names and would play the role of ideal hostess while being the manager.

Susie and Michael traveled to Israel with the Maryland Bible Society in 1994 during a moment of peace in the Middle East, the first of many international trips. Michael and Susie decided to try the Pacific Northwest, and Nike hired Michael and moved them to Aloha (Beaverton), Oregon, in 1996. Susie gave up her work at Marriott and would not return to dietetics. Michael and Susie continued to travel, and Susie visited the Great Wall twice, Europe, and all over the USA for various family events or with Michael for business trips for Nike.

Susie returned to ice skating, competed in light comedy, and won first place locally in 2010. Susie faced skin cancer that was controlled. She had a double mastectomy and never fully recovered from the anesthetic. But despite these trials, she began judging ice skating and trial judging and was appointed a silver judge.

Susie’s health began to decline with the first stroke, leaving her to use a walker. Susie joined Michael and friends in NYC when the pandemic seemed to be passing in 2021 and enjoyed a Broadway show, but Susie suffered a stroke in a hotel in NYC, and she and Michael spent three weeks in NYC until Susie recovered enough to travel. Susie had a series of strokes days after that that left her unable to walk, eat solid food, and care for herself, and her speech was affected. Susie moved to a care facility.

Michael visited Susie nearly daily for the next sixteen months—even when undergoing cancer treatments himself. Susie was cared for the last year of her life by the excellent people at Allegiance Senior Care, LLC, at their hummingbird house in Tigard, Oregon, an adult care facility. We could not have asked for a better place.

Susie entered hospice care twice, the last time days before her passing. Susie wanted no heroics and left this world resting next to her husband, who nodded off next to her as she passed.

The family has yet to decide what to do with Susie’s ashes. A concert and party to celebrate Susie is being planned for 2024.

Susie’s favorite drinks were ginger ale and bourbon (she would sneak a small bottle of Jim Beam onto planes when traveling) and a Southern Comfort Manhattan on the rocks with two cherries. She loved a grilled cheese fried in no-salt butter and cut into quarters. She would always eat three and keep a spare quarter for later.

Susie’s service is on 23 March 2024, at 4 PM, at First United Methodist Church in Beaverton.

Susie’s Michigan service is on 18 May 2024 ** at Grace United Methodist Church, Lansing, at 2PM.

** Not May 4