Today 7March2023: Overdrawn

I am not overdrawn at the bank; there is plenty of money for bills. However, I have overdrawn my bank of myself and do not feel like myself. I cry easily (as I write this, it is hard not to cry). I do not want to do anything, and I am feeling lost. Depression. Something I seldom get. But have me work daily for a month on a 7/24 project while caring for Susie and living alone. That is a way to find depression.

But don’t panic yet (it is not time to replace the silverware with plasticware). I have changed my reading to Grey Mouser and Fafhrd, read my friend Voilet Blue’s hilarious hacking update (we exchanged comments), and ran my last blog through the gender detector–I am 82% woman. It is hard to stay depressed in such a crazy world!

Last night my colon decided to flush, and I will not share the details, but I had little sleep, and the experience left me tired (emptied?) and nauseated. I had nightmares and strange repeating dreams where I realized I was trying to wake up, and when I did, I rushed to the restroom. My mind was trying to wake up before the colon took over. There could have been worse results!

I sent a note out and stayed home. I did work through the morning, managing to eat something and not see it soon (by any means). It handled most of the easy stuff for the morning, including a few easy exercises and stretches.

Next, I showered and dressed. I had a Tel-a-health appointment with my physical therapy folks. This seemed rather strange, but the folks insisted I could not change my appointment without a 24-hour warning. Thus I did PT over something Zoom-like. At one point, I put the laptop on a surface and did some exercises, and they watched remotely. Insane. PT remote is not something I would recommend as effective, but had I been feeling better, I would likely have had more fun. I need multiple camera views, and…best not to go there.

I had liberal coffee and a croissant for breakfast. I followed along at work for a while, but exhaustion soon took over. I rested for a bit. Had buttered toast for lunch. The two-hour break worked, and I was feeling better. I then drove Air Volvo to the Department of Environmental Quality (DEQ) to have Air Volvo checked, and the registration was renewed. I thought this was a good test before I tried to see Susie.

In the more metropolitan Oregon and thus areas with more air pollution, vehicles are checked for being out of standard for polluting every two years–this is done in many USA states. You can’t get new tags for your plates on the car without a successful test. It is illegal to mess with your vehicle to make it use less gas but pollute more. Also, environmental controls on older cars fail and thus must be fixed to drive them. It is illegal to drive polluting vehicles (there are some exceptions for antique cars).

Thus I drove without issue to the DEQ and stood in line, and then pulled in. The official plugged into the computer in the car, and then Air Volvo ran a self-diagnosis for the state representative. Air Volvo turned itself off before the test could be completed, and I had to restart it–this is built-in environmental controls and safety items, which got an eye roll from the state worker running the test mumbling, “they are making these things too smart.” I smiled, paid over $200 for the test and two-year tags ($25 to letting Air Volvo run a diagnosis check for them), and then the registration $193. My car is almost too smart and too safe for DEQ–Volvo Power!

With that irony making me feel more like myself, I headed in heavy traffic to see Susie. It was already end-of-school time in Beaverton, and the usual lockup and poor driving were now in place. It took me an extra ten minutes to reach the hummingbird house. As I was merging into Highway 26, the plastic insides of someone’s car’s wheel well flew across the road. I avoid it. Even with the debris on the street, Air Volvo arrived safely at Susie’s place in Portland (Tigard) at 9925 SW 82nd. Ave. Portland (Tigard), OR 97223; phone (503) 246-4116. I put on my new tags (a big ’25’ in reflective plastic going over the ’23’) there (I don’t want to forget them in the glove compartment). The paper registration is in the glove compartment.

Susie was in her room lying down with her head up on her hospital-style bed, watching M.A.S.H. reruns. Susie has cable in her room and has all of the seasons of M.A.S.H. and other shows now in digital format. We watched the end of an episode, and I moved the crash pad so I could sit next to her in her rocking chair. Next, we called Leta, Susie’s mother, and they talked awhile.

I had the usual 4:30 call, and it was already past 4, so I said goodbye to Susie with a kiss. She was sad to see me leave but was relieved that I was well enough to visit. She worries about me.

The traffic was a mess in Beaverton, and soon I pulled over and parked, and ordered dinner on my phone from Olive Garden to-go. Next, I connected to the 4:30 meeting and listened to the info for a while. After I determined there was no work for me, I listened and drove the short distance to Beaverton’s Olive Garden. My food was ready just as the meeting ended.

The traffic was slow, but I found my way in Air Volvo to the Volvo Cave. There I ate dinner, pasta with meatballs (very average) and a good salad while watching a spy movie: The Spy is a Catcher. Which is a WW2 slow-moving and intellectual thriller. It was not a great movie, but I did not know the story, and so I enjoyed it.

I then went to write the blog and get out some of my electronics. I am also slowly moving the figure painting stuff and modeling stuff into my office. It is making a mess of the office now, but the rest of the house is beginning to clear out. I try to make a few more improvements every day. It is working.

My office will need to be organized, and some new furniture will be moved from the garage to hold the hobby items. Matt V and others have offered to help, and once I am ready, I will get them to move and help bring the order to my office.

Thanks for reading!