Day 100: Susie’s Concert in Oregon

I have waited a long time for this day to arrive. Mostly, it went according to plan, and everyone thought it was a great party and remembrance. It was a good day.

I was tired, so I wrote the blog on Sunday morning. I was tired, so I went to bed early and woke up early. I am incapable of sleeping in on most days—there is just so much to do. I finally started at about 6:30, rolling over a few times before that at the dread time of 5:30. Yes, the time change is still not completely accepted.

Returning to Saturday, I rose at 7AM with some anxiety–today was the day, as I said, I had waited months to reach Susie’s Concert. I started on the blog and wrote about Friday. I made coffee, liberal coffee from Equal Exchange, in my French Press. After locating walnut pieces and brown sugar to add to the final product, I cooked steel-cut oats in a pan. The ants are back in the pantry, so I added more ant-poison sugar liquid to a paper plate to feed them again. Sometimes, the ants come back, and you must redo the process to make them disappear.

I wrote a somewhat confused account as my emotions were complex. Time slowed for me as I planned to be at First United Methodist Church in Beaverton after 2PM. I dressed in casual clothing and drove north to some food joints. I was there about 11:30 and too early for Standford’s on a Saturday, so I picked Red Robin.

Today, I needed something that would not make me sick and would provide enough calories to get through this. So a burger and fries with an iced tea seemed the best fit. I was thinking about the concert, and my eyes were filled with tears. The waiter was concerned there was something wrong with the food, which was kind of funny. “No, all is good,” I said, or words to that effect.

I drove back from Red Robin, reading a bit on my Kindle as time seemed to slow today while eating extra fries delivered without request. They are soooo good. I usually have chili or a salad–no fries.

I assembled my suit with the suspenders to keep the pants on. My weight loss has the side effect of making all my pants fall off. I won’t update my garments until I reach my next goal of 240. I have reached 248 so far. I will try not to play gourmet chef this spring break, which is my bad habit when I have more time, but to get more exercise instead. I might bake some scones for the mornings, but I will try to avoid delicious pasta and cheese dishes. I will try to resist. I have stopped looking at the cooking section of the NY Times; resist.

This time, it is the black suit I dawn with a 1980s tie Susie would remember buying in Maryland at some mall in the now long-gone Structure stores. No pocket watch, just the tie and a grey shirt to not contrast too much with the black. When I bought suits last year, I selected black (plus grey and blue) as I knew this day would come someday. Sadly, I got to wear the black suit for another good friend’s funeral first, Cory’s, who passed just a few days before Susie.

Air Volvo was overflowing with boxes and items for the concert. I was there after 2PM in my suit (which meant my pants would stay on besides looking the part of the widower) and unloaded. Jeane helped me move the communion table and dress it up. Jeane then pinned some of the items to represent Susie (instead of her ashes), including her favorite hats, slippers, favorite Nikes, glasses, and her new ice skates. It looked great.

Shawn had 700+ pictures and movies playing on the dual projectors in the sanctuary. Barb C was correct; this added more to the service. Excellent.

I had two long tables, and I got help arranging items from Susie’s life on them. I wanted it to look more like a retirement party than a funeral. Everyone helped scatter the items. Later, Michelle V found Susie’s grading sheets from 1970 and read them to folks. The display was well received.

The Windows laptop computer I brought to play the video of Susie’s skating program in 1980 was bricked. For those not up on their computer speak, it would not start–as useful as a brick. I had to play Susie’s ice skating on the Apple I bought for emergencies. I forgot to check the Windows machine this morning.

I had no sign-in book for folks or ushers—I did not want them. It was more of a concert experience than a funeral. I found myself having something to do: greeting people and sometimes seating them. This was good; I got to see everyone and was the only person who knew everyone. It was quite a mixed crowd of Nike, skating, church, and gaming folks. I did not get a count, likely less than 100.

We started five minutes late; I sat with Mariah near the front to thank folks during the service. Rev. Anne Weld-Marten got us going and was surprisingly brief. She introduced Jack, who sang an excellent version of Goin’ Home with Ashley accompanying him on the piano. Thanks to you both!

Soon, John played a mix of songs that flowed into the next one without stopping. John Nilsen always surprises me with the number of notes he gets from the grand piano in the sanctuary. John, playing and smiling as he found new things and brought them together while he played, found The Beatles, Beethoven’s 9th (an Easter hymn for Methodists: 89. Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee), and his own music while playing fast and loud (my request). John said a few words and played another piece from his own writing. Thank you, John! See you in Michigan soon (18 May at Grace United Methodist at 2PM, Lansing). Susie would have loved the concert.

Rev. Steve Wolff-Lynn followed—he had come out of retirement to help. Steve recalled a few of his experiences with Susie, including how she took him to every bar in Beaverton to sample the local gin and tonics. Susie was head of personnel at the church for Steve’s first years there. Rev. Steve then said the words to send Susie off from the Methodist Book of Worship. We then broke and headed out.

As usual, some folks left, but a good number followed me; I had to lead to Wesley Hall, and there, the church had prepared no-bake cookies and grilled cheese sandwiches–Susie’s favorites. There was Methodist Punch (Fresca and lime sherbert) and coffee. Folks stayed until almost 6PM; the Nike folks love a good party. I bought a set of John’s sheet music, he signed it, and I commended it to the music department at the church.

It was an excellent party.

When the last guest left, I got help packing up and soon was headed out. The usual Methodist crew was cleaning up. The church did a fantastic job providing cookies, tables, and a friendly face for all our visitors. It was a good concert and felt more like a retirement party than a goodbye.

Air Volvo found its way back to the Volvo Cave. I carefully hung up my suit, and as usual, the pants fell off the hanger (why is it always like this?). A few minutes later, I found them at the bottom of the closet and put them on their own hanger. I headed out and watched the dreadfully boring Ghost Busters movie that just came out. It is a sin to make a dull movie. Apparently, word was out; there were few of us at the showing. The popcorn was good, and the middle of the film was good. I got my kid-sized water, as anything more significant means this diabetic will not make it to the movie’s end.

After returning, I was worn out and went to bed early. I was happy the concert worked and felt the weight and grief lift slightly.

Thanks to everyone who made the concert work, everyone who came, and those who thought about us on Saturday. See you in Michigan in May.

Thanks for reading!