Monday with Doc

Sorry, no photos for Monday.

Going backward, I finished Louise Penny’s The Long Way Home: A Chief Inspector Gamache Novel (A Chief Inspector Gamache Mystery Book 10) with the death of a character. The story of the death brought back the last hours of Susie’s life to me. I came apart and was sobbing uncontrollably for ten minutes. The world was colors of black and white, and this new life, after Susie’s passing, seemed hollow and contrived. I did not want this new life without my wife, a dangerous moment. I need to stop this.

I walked out to the pantry, found Orville Redenbacher’s popcorn, unwrapped a microwave packet, and made it in the microwave (it burned a bit). Next, I sat in front of my laptop and found the Kaggle website. I looked at contests and read the requirements and code. I calmed down and soon was signed up for something impossible. I love to work on the impossible, even when I don’t win or complete it (I have never placed in coding contests, but I have learned so much, and this is working at the edge of human knowledge and capability). 

Here is the contest description:

Can you predict the level of problematic internet usage exhibited by children and adolescents, based on their physical activity? The goal of this competition is to develop a predictive model that analyzes children’s physical activity and fitness data to identify early signs of problematic internet use. Identifying these patterns can help trigger interventions to encourage healthier digital habits.

While I will not likely win or even come close, I will try and learn. There was a much more complicated and higher-paying contest to build an AI that can think (yes, I discovered there is even a measurement of thinking now used to evaluate AI capabilities against human abilities). Still, I thought I should start with something easier.  I will go with helping kids.

I finished the night brushing up my math by reading a book on Data Analysis. While reading, I put on the best of alternative rock on my Amazon Echo. I soon was back to my coding/math geek self.

Aside: I did work on the Kaggle contest that determined the source of cosmic rays for the Physic ICE project and created new science. My solution’s, a random solution, score placed it near the bottom of the scored solutions (how I beat some solutions is beyond me), but events prevented me (and f**king hard math, such as a least-square distance calculation in three-dimensional space) from building a better one. But I placed in the contest and was excited to see they got a working solution, and now we have published science.

While it is hard to find a life after becoming widowed, I know I have more to do and experience. I am an agent of change, continuing to reinvent myself and join in pushinging the world to its next version. I know that impossible is what we call something we don’t know how to do yet. I am off to New Orleans next month. Other trips and plans are forming. There is so much that I have not done yet!

I am feeling much better now: here. It is hard not to have grief, and other darker emotions overwhelm you. I have learned to let them play out; grief and depression are friends now. I just have to not let the pain and sadness rule me.

Dear reader, I am sharing my story here, and it is not always fun and exciting, but know I am OK. Yes, I am feeling better now! Yes, I will call someone if I can’t stop crying or the darkness gets worse.

Returning to the narrative, before this, I was at The 649 Taphouse in Aloha, Oregon, for the late afternoon and early evening. Natasha was bartending Monday by herself. I had a beer and soup for dinner. I spent the evening planning my trip to New Orleans with Deborah, suggesting Preservation Hall and me finding another cooking class to add. After some texting with Deborah, I said two Jazz shows at Preservation Hall.  I decided next to add a river paddlewheel and dinner tour on my last full day. I will be in NOLA from 17 to 23 October, flying all night on the 16th. I am trying a new hotel: Holiday Inn French Quarter-Chateau Lemoyne, with a room with a non-street facing balcony. I can roll onto my working ear with my hearing issues and hear no noise.

I finished my evening at The 649 with coffee and a shot of amaretto. I was cold. I headed home in Air Volvo and decided to read and warm up with a blanket. I started the laundry.

Moving back further, on Monday, I fried bacon in my non-stick pan (thanks, Steve). On Saturday, Dondrea gave me a few fine tomatoes, which joined the bacon, mayo, toast, and lettuce to make an excellent BLT sandwich. I keep a loaf of bread in the freezer as it is just me, and bread gets furry before I finish it if left out. I also order little packets of milk-like products for Corwin when he visits. He continuously learns that my milk is spoiled. Same story.

Aside: I ordered shelf-stable whole milk for baking to avoid this issue.

While enjoying my sandwich, I watched ShipHappens and tried to find my focus, but I did not get going.

Before this, I boarded Air Volvo and traveled across Beaverton to my hearing surgeon’s office. I parked on what I thought was the third floor of St. V Hospital and Medical Center car park and was relieved to see a yellow and a ‘4’ painted on the wall. Apparently, you enter from one side on floor two, something I did not know, and I would have had trouble finding an Air Volvo on my return to the parking structure if I had not noticed the ‘4.’

I soon found myself waiting in the boringly named waiting room with about one-tenth of the people in masks. I asked a masked person if they wanted me to mask up for them (“No, but thank you for asking”)—I was seated near them. I was trying to keep my distance. I was early and brought my Kindle, but I was surprised that Doc was running ahead (which never happens). Soon, Doc looked at my ear and nose and determined I was good. I was also told that my sister, Linda, was right and that I should not push the metal plate by my ear and make it tick. Wrong. Let it heal. I thanked Doc and shook his hand for his success, and I was happy to be good. My next adventure will be an MRI next year to check that everything is still as expected. If I leave the plate alone, there is no reason to expect any issues. Excellent.

Moving back to the morning, I rose after 7. I found the kitchen still in the same place, located the coffee, and whipped up liberal coffee in a French press. Sticking with the current breakfast, I added a banana and fruited yogurt. I read emails, looked at the news (mostly election news), updated Quicken, wondered why it couldn’t match some things, and started on the blog. I write for a while and try to stay focused. I managed to finish and post it.

And that takes me to waking. Thank you for reading and understanding.

I keep meaning to put this little ad in my story: Here is one of my completed items, Howard’s stories; if you want to read one, they are pay-what-you-want at DrivethruFiction: here. If you like them, please rate them at the site.