Today I drank lots of water and even added Liquid IV to my water. I walked around Portland and found wonderful food there. Anything to not repeat the pain of stiff legs and the pain of the night before. Sadly, last night (I am writing this Saturday morning), sleep came hard as I had to prove hydration every hour or so, and at 4:00 I woke in pain (6 out of 10) and had to take some OTC painkillers to help. I read some more, nodded off, and finally rolled over, not rising until late in the morning at 8:40. It was back and made starting Saturday hard. Hmmmm.
It is not hard not to be depressed or think something terrible is wrong. I am tired often, and exhaustion seems to now chase me and my limbs. I will continue to manage and will connect with my Doc if this discomfort continues like this. Ugh! It is starting to mess with my groove!
Putting the issues aside, I rose after 8 on Friday, found the kitchen; it hadn’t moved, and I made coffee. I remembered to push the “Bold” button, which I could use for more than just coffee. I would like that installed. I was stiff again but had got some sleep.
I remember that back in 1996, Susie and I closed on the house a few days before and were waiting for all the checks and paperwork to clear. We got the house keys on Halloween, and we spent our first night in the house with just some blankets and pillows. They were happy and, at the same time, sad memories. Halloween will be the 30th year in the house.
Often, when the sadness becomes hard to withstand, I begin to think I should sell the house and downsize to an apartment. But, more hamster than human, I think I like to settle into my clutter, piles of selected items, and rest. I can look out my window and see the season sort-of-melt-together-than-change here in the Pacific Northwest (PNW) in a familiar backyard. Grief is part of me, not something I can hide from or excise by a ritual of selling or cutting out. The moss and I are on a first-name basis here at the house.
Ending the musing, the morning was a rush of writing, coffee, and then showering and getting off to Beaverton. I picked up in Air VW the Gray Emma at 11-ish, and we took a more scenic route to Portland since we weren’t needed there until noon. We circled Grassa a few times until we located a parking spot that was legal, near Grassa, and had an easy entrance (and while I can parallel park the EV, I prefer easy).
We walked, jumping over some slightly flooding puddles (it rained all night again), formed from leaf-choaked storm drains. A hazard in the PNW. Here in the PCW, there exists an informal social contract to clear your drains or contact the municipality when issues arise. It is not easy to survive the leaf explosions and rains (leaves here never dry out and create a thick layer, mostly waterproof blockage).
At Grassa, the food is manifold and most freshly made. Emma’s request for squash-filled pasta was initially turned down because none was ready, but then the pasta maker delivered a sheet of prepared pasta as Emma was picking a substitution, and Emma’s meal was as fresh as one could imagine.
I had (Mariah arrived a few moments after our order and ordered the same) a heavy pasta with pork ragu. It was, as advertised, a late Sunday meal that comes with a nap, and I liked the vodka sauce better. We shared a salad and an appetizer, Fritto Misto di Mare.
The wine for me was a Malbec, with lighter wines for Mariah and Emma. The food was too much (two boxes contained the unfinished salad and appetizer, but no main survived into a box; they were eaten with pleasure and shared) and excellent.
We found the EV, hoping the flooding puddles, and parked a few blocks from the Hawthorne Powell’s Books. Once the specialized cookbook store, but now a zany mix of titles, new and used, with a coffee bar that fit the not-really-gentrified Hawthorne area. Next, the other but more gentrified Division Street area had us parking again, but the puddles were smaller. There we found Salt & Straw in a new retail space. We all got a cup of their cold product. I had Essence of Ghost for Devil’s Night (it was October 30th, and it was a Friday). We stopped at a New Age (to use a term that comes to mind) bookstore, Third Eye Books, and Emma located there a foraging book she needed. I got a box of matches with my tarot card, the Hanged Man, in reverse, pasted on it.
I dropped Mariah off at her car near Grassa, took the same lovely drive back to Beaverton, and dropped Emma at her apartment. Emma has a school project to finish this weekend.
Aside from that, there was much to talk about, but these stories aren’t mine to share. Instead, I will say it was a pleasure to be included in Mariah and Emma’s lives. I am also tired, and the food, walking, and memories made me sleepy and sad, but happy too. It’s been a good 30 years, and it looks like the next 30 will be fantastic, split between here and Deborah’s life in Michigan (with visits to Lansing). Fantastic!
Dinner later was just a bagel; I read more and drank lots of water (to my later regret). Deborah ended her day watching Elsbeth, and she went to sleep. It is nice to start and end our days together. I tried to do something productive, but the exhaustion was too much. I went to bed late, watching the recent Midway movie (though critics panned it, I thought it was a good version of the story, and the CGI alone was worth a look). I read, turned off the light, and slept poorly, as I have related above.
Thanks for reading.
