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The morning started at 6ish, an early Saturday. I started my blog early–I usually write the previous day’s blog in the morning on weekends. I felt that I should invest in writing that day, and I broke my usual 1,000 words habit by writing more than 1,700 words on Saturday. I also had a few minutes to work on my electronic project and finished some wiring. I ran out of black solid core hookup wire (I use solid when I want to position and strand wire (which is more flexible) when I need the wire to freely move. Ground (my usual use for black) gets used most often.

I called the hummingbird house, and Jennifer (who is not usually on for the weekend) told me that Susie was stable and needed help eating; Susie’s right arm was still sore and unusable. Next, I showered and dressed and then collected my Apple computer with other items to connect it for movies (I usually use the cable TV in Susie’s room, but we could still use the Apple if it was something online).

I am making an effort to slow down and do some self-care. Piers Anthony’s incarnation of Death character rode in a pale corvette with the number sticker that read: Death, Nature’s Way of Telling You To Slowdown. Words to live by but so hard to remember in an emergency.

Breakfast is an NYC bagel; thanks, Joyce, for the Zabar’s bagels. I make delicious liberal coffee in my French Press. To remind you, dear reader, I have been picking Fair Trade to drink since the election of President Trump. Almost every morning since his election, I celebrate being liberal with my coffee choices, currently Fair Exchange brand. Every great taste reminds me of who I am and what I believe in, which can be summarized as Doing the right thing for people and being the Future you want, Now. Hmmm, liberal.

Boarding Air Volvo, Saturday traffic is heavy and messy but not stressful and well-behaved. I arrived around 11 at the hummingbird house, and Susie was freshly sitting in her recliner in the shared living space with some movie playing. I immediately observed that Susie was more awake and functional than yesterday–Susie was better, a relief. We called Leta, who was worried about Susie and was relieved to get a more responsive call today. Leta committed that Susie was feeling much better. Susie’s arm is still not moving much, and according to Jennifer, the muscle is stiffer and still a bit hot to touch. Barb, Susie’s sister, was visiting Leta, so Susie could see and say hello to her sister too.

I sat in the living room with Susie all morning in her wheelchair (why not?) beside her chair. I watched a bit of the movie that Susie nodded off to a few times but woke up and watched most of it. I had the Apple in my lap, and it was awkward without a desk. I looked at circuits to map a 0-3.3V source to be changed to a proportional 0-5V circuit. I wanted to put a needle meter (I have a few I bought years ago, thinking they would be cool to use, but the old-school displays have just languished in my drawer of parts) in my project to show volume, but I am working in low voltages. I was looking for hours while Susie watched the show on how to do this conversion. I can have the hardware to do a discrete digital change(0, 3.3V converting to 0,5V and even back), but I did not have anything that did a proportional change. This is, to me, relaxing–mad scientist work.

Susie was ready for some lunch at about the end of the movie and seemed comfortable and in no lasting pain (her arm still hurts when she moves it). So I headed out and went to Chipotle for lunch and read more about Amp circuits. I discovered that the LM383, the old standby, is a poor choice for my work (I am not sure how many LM383x I have in my Radio Shack-like part draws in the garage, but I have a lot), and I want to convert 5V, but that is my power limit. I would need to get at least 7V to the LM383 so it could have enough power to produce the matching 0-5V. I was planning on a 9V input regulated to 5V and bucked to 3.3V as needed–After making the blue smoke (12V to a 9V max) come out of my low voltage but cool amp in my radio, I always regulate voltage now). I could get use the 9V in the LM383, as it can take more than twice that, but the LM383 is known as the battery-killer amp. I needed something higher tech.

I learned that there is a rail-to-rail concept that would let the 5V through (after proportionally limiting to match the source). This would also use less power and produce less heat. But, instead of being near free (LM383x are cheap, dirt cheap), the new-ish LMC622x would be expensive (a whopping $2.00+ for a hole-thru IC). As I am not mass-producing a toy for the lowest possible cost, this would be something new to learn and use, and the cost is not prohibitive for a few circuits.

My solutions are to use the old chip and directly connect to the source voltage to get enough power to drive to 5V or to use the newer LMC622 and try out rail-to-rail voltage. My inner mad scientist was saying “yes” but sounding like the evil emperor in Star Wars. A perfect distraction for me today.

On my return, Susie was resting in her bed. She was not sleeping as much and would ask me things all afternoon. When I fell asleep in the chair for a moment, she woke me asking me if I was OK–she gets worried when I am not moving. Susie was better.

I spent the afternoon in my comfy chair in Susie’s room with my laptop. I ordered 4″ 8 Ohm speakers (for my next project), four LM622x, and a Sparkfun solid core hookup wire kit (lots of colors) from Digi-key (they even sell Sparkfun and Adafruit items being often the only source available for Adafruit products while Lady Ada and friends fought for the people of NYC, where she is based, during the pandemic). The items will be here next week or so.

Susie was placed on her side (her butt was sore from the chair and sitting in one place too long), and it was soon time for me to head out. Louis, Jennifer’s husband, was doing a short shift and making dinner–spaghetti and salad with garlic bread. I said goodbye with a kiss, and Susie agreed that Sunday would not be an early day (no church).

Traffic through Portland was messy, and there were some stressed drivers erratically changing lanes. I drove without much rush as I had an hour. The traffic was better after the tunnel that leads into Portland on highway 405. I had enough time to stop by Mcdonald’s and have a shake and a fry (both guilty pleasures). I soon arrived and was surprised that we were switching from the board game Dominant Species to another game, but we returned to it.

This game is not a favorite for me, but I wanted to try it again as I knew it better now (I have been crushed multiple times) and watched some how-to-play videos on Board Game Geek after writing the blog earlier Saturday morning (as I said above). I also read a few articles on the game while hanging out with Susie. This is a worker placement and resource management game, but it is mean. It is about species being dominant and destroying your opponent’s species and managing and creating the playboard to your advantage and often the other players’ disadvantage. There are devastating dominance cards, including erupting a volcano in your opponent’s areas! I managed to win by one point over Richard.

I cannot recommend Dominant Species (DS) unless you like to win more than playing elegant systems found in games like Weather Maker or Terraforming Mars. For brutal games, there is Scythe which is faster and cleaner, and Twilight Imperium, which is only slightly longer than DS! DS is made by GMT, and their games are more wargame-like and highly competitive. DS is a puzzle to solve while other players are hitting you from everywhere. A unique game and one for you to try if you are a grizzled gaming veteran. I won by killing Richard’s species every chance I got (he was higher on the food chain, so he won on all ties) and still only won, covering the map areas and glaciers with my species, by one point. I followed a hyper-aggressive approach (not my usual), matching my play style to the theme of survival at the cost of others.

I drove Kathline home; Caroline (our other German gal) lived a short drive away and brought her own car. Kathline and I talked about books for a while, sitting in her driveway, and then I drove home. I reached home after midnight (now 1AM), and I moved all the manual clocks forward an hour.

Thanks for reading and happy (ugh) time change!

 

I am writing the blog early Saturday morning. I had a dream I could not breathe, and I awoke wheezing and that awful drowning feeling. Next, I got out my inhaler, and that stopped the tightness, but now that I got it into my head that I am having breathing issues, lying down and trying to sleep just is not going to work. Thus I am up at 6AM writing.

I have coffee and a bagel and start writing…

Saturday started with me not going to work. I am still tired and have logistic issues with Susie and the medical stuff. I have learned that I cannot do everything all the time and something has to be given up to do something else; life for me is a choice and exchange. I can’t do Zoom meetings and follow along at work and get Susie to an emergency ultrasound for a blood clot. So I took a day off from the shoe company.

I made coffee, liberal Equal Exchange coffee in a French Press, and toast. I read my emails and started to cover all the items I had missed. I ran Quicken and updated all the balances with transactions. I have it download all Amex, US Banks, and Paypal transactions and assign the expenses (most automatically) to categories. This also connects to my deferred compensation, assigns changes to Susie’s IRA (a mutual fund), gets my stock and cash from banks and investment houses via more connections, and connects to Rocket Morgage to get the balance for the house loan. Thus I have a near real-time evaluation of our Finances. I do the manual updates for the end of February for my 401K, which I only update at the end of a month (this includes updating the loan balance against the 401K being paid back at 7.5%). I have set house and Air Volvo values based on market values. I do not have an evaluation included for the more speculative stock options from Nike. I can see my net worth and track every buck going and going.

All this work, something that touches my love of organization but not my messy nature, is to ensure that I have a clear picture of finances, and now I have to pay large medical bills and then have the IRS and local taxing authorities refund me a considerable amount of what I pay in. Adherence to the process and having transparent transactions clearly assigned categories make this easy to follow for me and any auditor. I generally use electronic payments for recurring bills, but medical expenses are manual checks, so they are easy to prove and track.

I caught up on Quicken and added more things I need to file; I need to take some hours to assemble the paper close to January and February 2023. I have a hard copy every month, knowing that paper impresses auditors and accountants. I have a hole punch and tabs for notebooks. Even the little paper receipts go into a pocket by month. Old school to the max.

After all that paperwork, I call Metro Ambulance and set up an account and credit card (AMEX) for on-call service. This way, transfers can be done by Alligiance Seniro Care LLC (the hummingbird house), and I will just get billed. Next, I called the imaging at Legacy Good Sam in Portland and got a surprisingly convenient appointment for an ultrasound for Susie at 5PM today. I called Metro Ambulance back, and they did not have the means to transfer Susie (all booked), and I disappointedly called back the imaging, went on hold again, and finally moved the appointment to Monday.

I do not want to lift Susie into the co-pilot seat with a possible blood clot. I would rather pay for a lift. So I called Metro Ambulance back, and they said they could not schedule that until the afternoon as they needed to get their schedule planned for the next day. So I will call back to see if they can cover Monday. Hmm.

I shower, dress, and bring my Apple to track medical stuff on the Legacy myChart application. For example, I get all the test results in the minute it is posted. I travel to the post office first. I have a signing required package, usually from Europe, but I cannot remember anything outstanding. So I bring the notice with me. The parking is short at the post office (this is a post office that does not sell stamps and provides just a pick-up service), but there is a short line. I got a heavy, slightly smooshed box from the UK, full of metal figures. It is my figures for The Dark Tower: Accused by Set adventure Kickstarter. I ordered $100 of various hard-to-get figures (some named), all in metal, with some requiring assembly, that match the adventure. Unfortunately, they were so late that I forgot about them–more items I need to paint.

I head to Susie’s place from the post office. Susie is in her recliner in the living room, watching Judge Judy, asleep. Jennifer had to feed Susie as her right arm was not working well. Susie did not eat much and is warm to the touch but has no fever. Susie moves to her bed after we call Leta. Susie and Leta had a short call, with Susie distant or out of focus. Susie agrees to start taking Tylenol after I push her on that.

Susie sleeps on and off while listening to Elton John (she made a face when I suggested Mick Jagger, so she is not that out-of-focus). I sat next to her in the same chair I spent a night in and pulled up her table as my desk for my Apple. I send updates on my phone (using my Nike email) and my Apple for FaceBook and Text. I read the news on the bank failures, including detailed discussions about the errors at the SVB made before it failed.

My mother and Corwin would contact me about these issues, worried that it was the beginning of the end.

FYI (skip if it feels I am man-splaining): Banks have bought low-interest financial instruments without hedging for a sudden increase in interest rates. Thus deposits are now backed by illiquid assets (oops), and their loan portfolios are low-interest payments as they were made in the low-interest rates of the last few years (oops). Hedging costs money and requires care and feeding by an expensive staff of experts, so from what I have read, the banks did not spend the money to hedge their risk (oops). Apparently, enjoying high profits from the low-interest rates (nothing makes money like paying near-zero and charging 7-22%), the banks ignored the apparent cause of low-interest rates (the pandemic and the war Ukraine impacts) would fade. Inflation shows its face as the economy restarts, and that (look at history) causes a leap in inflation rates (plus the shock of fossil fuel price jump from the European war), forcing a sudden interest rate explosion. This is History and Finance 101 and Banking 101: Events cause interest rates to spike. SVB fails at its depositors, chasing better returns, jumped (Silicon Valley Banks is a high-tech bank that allows easy transfers) to better returns, forcing SVB to sell treasuries at a discount to cover these withdraw (as they pay lower interest rate than current and are discounted by the difference, painful) and became insolvent overnight. An old fashion run-on-the-bank. Do the too-big-to-fail banks have this issue (yes, they do), and do they have the cash from other businesses (credit cards charging huge rates) to cover deposit activity? That is the question. Buckle-in as saying that many USA CEOs were not greedy and careless is almost an oxymoron now. It is not the end of the world, but many rich folks will look pretty stupid (again).

Returning to our story, I called Metro, and they could not help us on Monday either. I am beyond eye-roll at this time. So Jennifer, the live-in nurse aide, and I agree–I will transport Susie; I am The Transporter. Susie will rest until we leave at 3:45. I head to lunch at Red Robin while Susie sleeps.

At Red Robin, nearby, I get a call from David and Michelle Smith; they have no power and decide to head to their house on the coast. They thought to stop by and see Susie and will be there in thirty minutes. My lunch, a split chicken breast spiced with a salad, is quickly eaten, and I pay using their machine, so I am out fast, back to the hummingbird house. I get there just before Michelle and David gets there. We met in Susie’s room–Susie was profoundly asleep and did not wake. We must wake Susie for her meds and soon get ready to leave. Susie is happy to see David and Michelle. They go, and we get Susie ready. Jennifer puts Susie in Air Volvo, now Air Medical Transporter Volvo.

Susie is a bit surprised as she has lost the thread of what is happening today; the plan has changed a few times(!). I explained we were headed to Good Sam for imaging for her arm. She is happy to be out in the car, and we have a slow traffic heavy trip into Portland, but we have plenty of time, so Susie gets to view everything. I skip the tunnel and cross over to reach the medical center by passing by Providence Park and Kells. Susie is happy to see everything in Portland (our last trip together was two Novembers ago), and we are soon there, about 45 minutes before the appointment and 15 minutes ahead of the plan–excellent. I got help from the valet and unloaded Susie without issue. We get checked in, the folks being surprised I did all the paperwork online for a same-day appointment.

We wait twenty minutes and then are escorted back to the ultrasound, and the gal says they can keep Susie in the wheelchair (yay!). Unfortunately, the process does require two folks as Susie cannot hold her arms up, and they manage to bruise her more. The conclusion is there is no blood clot, but there is a hematoma in her arm muscle from bleeding. If it gets worse–ER. I later sent this info to hummingbird house as I got the test results before we even reached hummingbird house.

I load Susie into Air Medical Transporter Volvo, and Susie slips on the seat. I had to grab her, and that was not a happy moment, but it was not too bad. Susie is safe, and we arrive, and Jennifer, now off duty, unloads Susie for me.

Susie rests in bed, and Louis, Jennifer’s husband, is on duty now, making dinner and caring for Susie. Jennifer got Susie in bed, checked the new bruises, and showed them to me. Tests suck.

I head home after a while; I am tired. But, at the front door is a blessedly happy box from NYC Zabar’s. Bagels! Joyce Hill sent me three bags of bagels from NYC. Thanks, Joyce. I have a poppy bagel for dinner. I rest. At 10, I just need to do something.

I reorganize the office work table to do electronic work. I move the ship and various models to the floor along the wall (I already have drawer cabinets in the garage to hold this stuff. I plan to have three set-ups for working (painting figures, building models, and electronics in the office), and I can move things in and out of cabinets to change my direction). Unfortunately, I am not quite there. I manage to reset and sit down to be completely distracted from today’s messy adventures and start working on a box to hold speakers and an amp.

I mix a bit of 15-minute epoxy cement and attach some two-inch speakers to holes I cut in a paper box I bought years ago for another project. I raided my supplies in the garage and found more things I would need. The physical stuff is done with the speakers mounted and the amp on brass standoffs screwed in place through the bottom of the box. A hole is provided to plug into the amp. Just need to do power and switches. I found my collection of voltage regulators and a 9V battery connector. I have everything if I can see it, as it gets messy after years. I need to purge out the old Raspberry Pies computers and old technology microcontrollers and put away some of the cool stuff now in boxes in my drawers in the garage.

Now relaxed and distracted, I go to bed at 11:45 and quickly fall asleep.

Thanks for reading.

Music that keeps me going (I have lined to it before): You Can’t Stop the Beat.

 

I can only cover a few items as I am exhausted. So this will be a few days. So not a narrative today.

Susie developed, if you have been following along, a bruise on her arm, this has become a problem for her whole right arm. It was blue with a bruise and painful and hot. Possible infection or blog clot.

Susie decided on Wednesday night when I was called in for this surprise. Susie started complaining about the pain, and the nurse aides were surprised to see the cause. The question was to send Susie to the ER. I drove back to the hummingbird house (I had been there in the afternoon for my usual quick visit).

Susie was in pain but was not interested in any more ER experiences. ER to her means needles and waiting; you are never sure you are safe. Nope, we are staying with the folks at the hummingbird house. So I got a chair and spent the whole night sitting beside Susie. I would be needed immediately if Susie got worse. We were all ready for that. Susie stabilized, got some rest, and the blue bruising faded.

I emailed Nike IT to let them know I was out on Thursday and was distracted and would not be helping much on the 7/24 items. I also sent out updates to FaceBook and my text group. I updated that every couple of hours.

I drove home at 6:30 from Tom’s Pancake House in Beaverton. I had corned beef hash with poached eggs, pancakes, and toast. I did not finish the toast and left some pancakes behind. This was last night’s dinner and breakfast. I then managed to land Air Volvo at the Volvo Cave without incident. I was exhausted.

I rested until the afternoon. I spoke to the hummingbird house, Jennifer, Susie was stable, and the same (good), and Jennifer asked me if I planned to connect to Susie’s doctor (good idea). I went online and scheduled the first available video appointment for Susie (Monday), then called the doc office, spoke to their folks, and described the issue. They would get back to me. I called Jennifer back at the hummingbird house and told her what was happening.

I made New England Clam Chowder from a can and ate that fast as I had a doctor’s appointment with our doctor at 2:40. I made it, despite bad traffic, on time and spoke to the doc. He planned to have a video conference with Susie that early evening, 4:20. My appointment went well, and he added an allergy med to add to my asthma meds; he thinks it might be more allergy than asthma as my symptoms are not every day. My diabetic meds will continue as my sugar levels were slightly higher–I blame good beer and excellent girl scout cookies!

Traffic on Thursdays is always bad, and end-of-school Beaverton traffic was full-on when I left the doctor’s office. I stopped at Paris Baguette, the same as found all over New York City, and got some tiramisu tarts for Susie and Jennifer and her family. I got croissants for breakfast (one chocolate).

I reached the hummingbird house before 4PM, set up the computer, and tested everything using their software. I was surprised that when the nurse aid online showed, the sound was going into the headphones–I had passed all their tests. I have to use the headphone mic (it is broken on my laptop), but now it does not work. I managed to find the setting and change it, and then everything worked. After the nurse checked us in, we only waited a moment for the doctor.

Jennifer joined us for the call with the doc. We moved the laptop so the doc could see the swelling and the other issues with Susie’s right arm. The doc ordered an ultrasound, antibiotics, and painkillers. I have to schedule the ultrasounds ASAP and arrange for transportation–with Susie’s hurt arm, it would be best to not lift her into the Volvo and out. We will try to move her in the wheelchair using a transportation service.

Aside: I took Friday off as I have to do all this work and am exhausted.

Susie was resting in her bed again after the call concluded. Susie was uncomfortable, she had sat too long in her chair, and her butt was sore. Jennifer placed Susie, in her bed, on her side, and Susie was better. We called Leta, who was happy to see her on the FaceTime app on her iPhone. They talked briefly, and I updated Leta on the doc’s appointments (both Susie’s and mine).

I was tired. I kissed Susie goodbye and drove home by way of a gas station. Air Volvo was driving on fumes. Finally, I reached home. I ordered too much Chinese food from East Harbor Chinese Restaurant that was delivered by GrubHub–it is terrific, and I will have plenty for the next couple of days!

It was Theology Pub night, Second Thursday, and tonight’s topic, suggested by me after reading a David Brook column, was art. No political or heavy theology today. Here is what our leader, Dondrea wrote as our direction:

Art has long played a role in religion. The Catholic church alone invested vast amounts of money in the production of religious art. For most churches, music also plays an integral part. It’s a way to illustrate religious stories and teachings, but it may play a bigger role in our spiritual lives and mental health than previously thought. Neuroaesthetics is a rapidly expanding science of how arts and aesthetic experiences measurably change the body, brain, and behavior. In fact, researchers say “art” isn’t a luxury in our lives but a huge contributor to our physical and mental well-being. How can we increase the role art plays in our lives and our worship, and what role does it play in our personal lives? 

It was an excellent discussion which I am too tired to summarise except to record that art means a lot to all of us, and we find a kind of peace in making and experiencing art.

It is 9:35, and I am tired, but I can let Wednesday be silent, so I will go on for a bit more…

Wednesday started with a headache and thus excluded my exercises and stretches at 6AM and staying in bed until after 7:15. I made liberal coffee (BTW, Tom’s Pancake House’s coffee tasted like water to me after a year or more of French Press liberal coffee) and had yogurt with a croissant. I scarfed this down while reading emails, Slack messages, FaceBook posts, and the news online. All of this is to prepare me for my usual busy Wednesday.

I showered, dressed, and boarded Air Volvo with all the board games already in the cargo hold for Z. I usually play board games with Z, now 12 years old, on Wednesday nights during choir practice. Z’s mother, Dondrea, practices with the band and choir on Wednesday night at First United Methodist in Beaverton. So we play board games while they practice.

I reached work in time to start hours of Zoom meetings. I also had another crisis of the moment that I had to immediately cover; I had been unwell on Tuesday and left it to Wednesday. So I was busy in catchup mode while multitasking. The morning was a blur of Zoom, emails, Slack updates, and me reading Service Now Tickets (SNOW) and documents and sending out questions and approvals (with questions being about 3:1 on approvals).

I headed out for lunch, a burger at Burger King (the last food I would get that day), with fries (should have been onion rings–but it was drive-thru and can’t be fixed), and a Diet Coke. I then headed to the Hummingbird house in Portland (Tigard) at 9925 SW 82nd. Ave. Portland (Tigard), OR 97223; phone (503) 246-4116. The traffic was light, and I was able to admire the new cement work on 217. It has taken a month or more to build the new pillars for the new overpass.

Susie is in the living room in her recliner when I get there. She is in no pain, I remember asking, and she was delighted to see me. I told her I could only be there for a short time. We talked to her mother, Leta, on my iPhone. Their discussion, often the same day after day, is more a reason to see each other than to really talk. The message is, “I am so happy to see you and to let you know I love you.” But the weather, food, and various items get that message over. I tell Susie I love her and kiss her goodbye.

Back to the office via Air Volvo. The day, now fading from my memory (chased into oblivion by the emergency of Susie’ sudden serious illness), was full of preparing for important events on Thursday (which were completed without me as they were already moving thru the processes and approvals), and just following along. I remember being happy that the last meeting finished early, and I headed out before 5PM to First United Methodist Church.

I parked at the church and was walking to get a sandwich for dinner when my phone rang. It was Jennifer, and they were worried about Susie. This is where we started.

Thank you for reading. Sorry, it is two days and thereby long. It is best to keep these to under 1,200 words.

I am not overdrawn at the bank; there is plenty of money for bills. However, I have overdrawn my bank of myself and do not feel like myself. I cry easily (as I write this, it is hard not to cry). I do not want to do anything, and I am feeling lost. Depression. Something I seldom get. But have me work daily for a month on a 7/24 project while caring for Susie and living alone. That is a way to find depression.

But don’t panic yet (it is not time to replace the silverware with plasticware). I have changed my reading to Grey Mouser and Fafhrd, read my friend Voilet Blue’s hilarious hacking update (we exchanged comments), and ran my last blog through the gender detector–I am 82% woman. It is hard to stay depressed in such a crazy world!

Last night my colon decided to flush, and I will not share the details, but I had little sleep, and the experience left me tired (emptied?) and nauseated. I had nightmares and strange repeating dreams where I realized I was trying to wake up, and when I did, I rushed to the restroom. My mind was trying to wake up before the colon took over. There could have been worse results!

I sent a note out and stayed home. I did work through the morning, managing to eat something and not see it soon (by any means). It handled most of the easy stuff for the morning, including a few easy exercises and stretches.

Next, I showered and dressed. I had a Tel-a-health appointment with my physical therapy folks. This seemed rather strange, but the folks insisted I could not change my appointment without a 24-hour warning. Thus I did PT over something Zoom-like. At one point, I put the laptop on a surface and did some exercises, and they watched remotely. Insane. PT remote is not something I would recommend as effective, but had I been feeling better, I would likely have had more fun. I need multiple camera views, and…best not to go there.

I had liberal coffee and a croissant for breakfast. I followed along at work for a while, but exhaustion soon took over. I rested for a bit. Had buttered toast for lunch. The two-hour break worked, and I was feeling better. I then drove Air Volvo to the Department of Environmental Quality (DEQ) to have Air Volvo checked, and the registration was renewed. I thought this was a good test before I tried to see Susie.

In the more metropolitan Oregon and thus areas with more air pollution, vehicles are checked for being out of standard for polluting every two years–this is done in many USA states. You can’t get new tags for your plates on the car without a successful test. It is illegal to mess with your vehicle to make it use less gas but pollute more. Also, environmental controls on older cars fail and thus must be fixed to drive them. It is illegal to drive polluting vehicles (there are some exceptions for antique cars).

Thus I drove without issue to the DEQ and stood in line, and then pulled in. The official plugged into the computer in the car, and then Air Volvo ran a self-diagnosis for the state representative. Air Volvo turned itself off before the test could be completed, and I had to restart it–this is built-in environmental controls and safety items, which got an eye roll from the state worker running the test mumbling, “they are making these things too smart.” I smiled, paid over $200 for the test and two-year tags ($25 to letting Air Volvo run a diagnosis check for them), and then the registration $193. My car is almost too smart and too safe for DEQ–Volvo Power!

With that irony making me feel more like myself, I headed in heavy traffic to see Susie. It was already end-of-school time in Beaverton, and the usual lockup and poor driving were now in place. It took me an extra ten minutes to reach the hummingbird house. As I was merging into Highway 26, the plastic insides of someone’s car’s wheel well flew across the road. I avoid it. Even with the debris on the street, Air Volvo arrived safely at Susie’s place in Portland (Tigard) at 9925 SW 82nd. Ave. Portland (Tigard), OR 97223; phone (503) 246-4116. I put on my new tags (a big ’25’ in reflective plastic going over the ’23’) there (I don’t want to forget them in the glove compartment). The paper registration is in the glove compartment.

Susie was in her room lying down with her head up on her hospital-style bed, watching M.A.S.H. reruns. Susie has cable in her room and has all of the seasons of M.A.S.H. and other shows now in digital format. We watched the end of an episode, and I moved the crash pad so I could sit next to her in her rocking chair. Next, we called Leta, Susie’s mother, and they talked awhile.

I had the usual 4:30 call, and it was already past 4, so I said goodbye to Susie with a kiss. She was sad to see me leave but was relieved that I was well enough to visit. She worries about me.

The traffic was a mess in Beaverton, and soon I pulled over and parked, and ordered dinner on my phone from Olive Garden to-go. Next, I connected to the 4:30 meeting and listened to the info for a while. After I determined there was no work for me, I listened and drove the short distance to Beaverton’s Olive Garden. My food was ready just as the meeting ended.

The traffic was slow, but I found my way in Air Volvo to the Volvo Cave. There I ate dinner, pasta with meatballs (very average) and a good salad while watching a spy movie: The Spy is a Catcher. Which is a WW2 slow-moving and intellectual thriller. It was not a great movie, but I did not know the story, and so I enjoyed it.

I then went to write the blog and get out some of my electronics. I am also slowly moving the figure painting stuff and modeling stuff into my office. It is making a mess of the office now, but the rest of the house is beginning to clear out. I try to make a few more improvements every day. It is working.

My office will need to be organized, and some new furniture will be moved from the garage to hold the hobby items. Matt V and others have offered to help, and once I am ready, I will get them to move and help bring the order to my office.

Thanks for reading!

Mondays lose their sting when you work through multiple weekends, and Mondays are now more of a bookmark than a back-to-work day. Sleep also seems strange as you sleep to work, not to rest. “I need to sleep so I can be back on at 6,” goes through your head. When you look at the clock, you calculate India’s time to determine if you should expect some replies. There is no real rest. You are on, like everyone else, 7/24 and ready to serve. On Monday, your regular job rises like Dicken’s ghost to meet your 7/24 work, and now you are doing both. Usually, everyone is on for the workday, so the stress is a little less as others step up, but the meetings start (every problem and issue seems to generate 1-5 sessions), so there is little free time to do your own work, you can hear Marley’s chains clang.

It is called the meat grinder, the rat race, Just Do It, and less polite things. The cycle seems endless while leadership pushes and then backs off and next praises. Software failures, mistakes, incorrect data, and missing data generate tickets, often creating meetings and talking points for status meetings. Each ticket is pronounced critical, high, next build, or another arcana status and becomes the focus of progress. To have a critical path issue is the highest sin as all wait for its resolution or downgrading. Status meetings are where you discover that you have a ticket you did not know about, and now leadership wants to know what you are doing about it, “We will huddle and get back to you.” I support the master data engineering team, and we must get the one thing that must be perfect, perfect, timely, and accepted. F**k.

So my day starts with me waking with my alarm for the first time in a while. I had awakened before it and went back to sleep. My arising was more of a crawl than something a Dracula movie would show. Yes, no stately rises from dust to sit proudly in my coffin, the stake no longer in my chest. It took me three times to find the arm holes in my robe–they kept moving.

Coffee was assembled in the kitchen after checking the phone for calls (none) and important Slack channel updates that required me (nope). Meetings started at 8AM via Zoom, with me not using the camera. Hours passed, and I was multi-tasking as none of our team members were needed. I found that the vendor had answered some inquiries with new fixes, creating more Zoom meetings.

Breakfast was again cottage cheese with pepper, smoked paprika, and sea salt, plus the remains of the can of peaches from yesterday. I find this meal means I am not very hungry in the morning. I had soup from a can, chicken with noodles, for lunch which I rushed through.

My back hurts at my shoulders, a cutting pain. I do my exercise and stretches, and the pain returns to my lower right back–the weak spot we are working on. Yes, the pain moves and needs to be recalled back to the source. Until I sit too long, there is no pain. The PT is working, and my next session is on Tuesday.

More chores: I also blocked my calendar for my doctor’s appointment and colonoscopy (soon) and called the nurse to get the revised instructions (drink this stuff, don’t leave the house, and clear the bathroom for use). I did learn that they will call Radio Cab to get me home on 15 March (Next Wednesday), so I just need the cab there. Better.

Next, I drove Air Volvo to the DEQ center only to learn they are closed on Mondays (!?). So I drove to the hummingbird house. Despite my starting from DEQ, the highways were not busy, and I was soon at Susie’s place, the hummingbird house in Portland (Tigard) at 9925 SW 82nd. Ave. Portland (Tigard), OR 97223; phone (503) 246-4116.

Susie was resting in her recliner in the shared living room. Her favorite show, old Blue Blood episodes, was on the TV. Susie was delighted to see me and seemed more alert today. Jennifer, the live-in nurse aide, said Susie had an unexplained bruise on her arm but was not complaining. Susie is on blood thinners, and we will watch this. Susie’s next appointment with her cardiologist is in May.

Susie and I called her mother, Leta, and I let them chat for almost a half-hour. I had chores, but Susie seemed alert, so I let them burn my spare time. Leta is still working on her house; pests have moved in, and she hopes to return to normal in the next few months.

Susie was sad to have me leave but knew it was needed. No tears on either side today.

Next, I stopped by the bakery, had a quick slice of cake, and picked up bread and baked goods for breakfast. Lastly, I stopped by the cleaners and brought five more pairs of pants to be shortened. So, I am replacing all my pants with new ones–physically getting rid of some of the past.

I arrived at the Volvo Cave without issue. I had twenty minutes before the meetings started again. I had new meetings from today’s items and some carry-overs from last week. So non-stop in the later afternoon. Every meeting overran.

While this was happening, my mail showed. This included four packages: A cookbook, high-energy circuit components, gaming items, and my replacement paints. All on Monday. The cookbook is Raghavan Iyer’s newest and likely last, On The Curry Trail. He is one of my heroes and writes delicious and easy recipes. His 660 Curries cookbook is his best-known book (already on my shelf and my go-to for Indian food). I can’t wait to read this journey-based cookbook. The high-energy parts could build a Tesla Coil–we will see (but having a 20,000V rated capacitor is just cool anyway). I found in Esty 1/3-sized dollhouse coffee cups with coffee for a marker replacement in the board game Arc Nova. I will give one to Richard and likely use one when I buy a copy someday of this fantastic game (I play Richard’s copy so far). My Army Painter 50 paint set and some brushes arrived. I hoped to start painting figures and wanted new paints–mine are thick and turning to goo. So quite a load of fun on the mail today.

Meetings went on and on. Finally, I was free and decided that I had eaten enough of my own cooking (from cans) and headed to BJ’s Taphouse. Near Quatama MAX Stop, the apartments across from the MAX station, Arbor Crossing, was filled with flashing light police cars. I hope it is not another shooting. I checked, and nothing is showing in the news.

Eric was here in BJ’s (where I am writing tonight), my usual waiter, and I had my favorite pork chop with a baked potato and veggies. I added a salad tonight. My dinner was delivered a bit too fast as I was here early, but all was great. I started the blog as I drank coffee after dinner.

I must admit that work, health, costs, and being alone can get me down. Until I remember that I have so many incredible people I work with to keep Susie well, to keep me well, to do the impossible every day at work (Doing Impossible Every Day: DIED), playing incredible games, building amazing things from excellent shops online, and learning so many beautiful things. But, it is also the time to help others, like buying the last cookbook from a great man telling one the last story while he is dying from cancer.

There is so much to do and so much good to try. I am glad to be on this strange, often impossibly difficult journey, but I know I am never alone. You are here with me, and we have so much to do.

To me, Ghandi’s best line, which I loosely translate as: Be the Future you want Now.

Thanks for reading.