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It is the early evening, and I do not plan to do much more than write and do a little housework. I am somehow more tired than yesterday. Going back a bit, I left work and returned to the house after seeing Susie as I was just not feeling well; I was fatigued. I ordered dinner delivered, Chinese, going with salt and pepper calamari and chicken and cashews with hot and sour soup and crab puffs. I plan to eat this over a few days. I rested a few times and finally picked up all the magazines in the bedroom from the past months and recycled them. I am not going to get back to read them or reread them.

Going back further, I had lunch from the food trucks at the Nike building called Clubhouse–our home for years now. The project supplies lunch and coffee in the morning for this weekend’s go-live. I had some BBQ chicken with some wonderful potato salad and slaw. Again sitting with Michelle V and some team members for master data while we consumed our bounty. Michelle was happy to meet some of our team, and we talked about rock and roll (Michelle’s daughter is a Swifty, and her husband likes the Doors) and concerts we have attended. It was a nice lunch.

Afterward, I packed up my laptop and headed to Susie at the hummingbird house in Portland (Tigard) at Allegiance Senior Care LLC, 9925 SW 82nd. Ave. Portland (Tigard), OR 97223; phone (503) 246-4116. There was not much traffic, and the forest fire smoke stayed away (this year, the rains have been heavy, so the fire season is yet to start for us), so we have a hot and bright and clear skies day. Susie was asleep in her recliner in the shared living room. Jennifer, the nursing aide for the weekday, had trouble getting Susie going this morning. Susie was too tired to eat, so Jennifer helped her–Susie barely spoke during my visit and to Leta, her mother, on the phone. I am worried that Susie is fading. It is hard to know what to do, but we will keep going–it is what we do.

Susie agreed to head outside. Jennifer quickly popped Susie into her wheelchair; we headed outside, and it was warm with a cool breeze, nearly perfect. I pushed her wheelchair, and I was tired, and it seemed more challenging than usual. We got to my favorite shady bench near the redwoods and cedar. We called Susie’s mother there, and Leta told us she was staying inside as it was still smoky in Lansing, Michigan. The fires in Canada are filling the Midwest and the Eastern US skies with smoke. Leta skipped the Taco Tuesday the night before at her church as it was outside–Leta has asthma.

In Metzger Park, we saw the usual collection of younger kids and dogs of various ages and sizes. One butterfly remains fluttering here and everywhere. The crows called out to us as we crossed back onto the road. I yelled back and seemed to surprise them. Soon, it was a short visit, I was back at hummingbird house, and Louis was filling in for Jenifer, who had an errand to run. Susie was sad to have me leave so soon, but Louis momentarily distracted her as he placed her back in the recliner. I went with a kiss and a promise to return on Thursday afternoon. Indiana Jones, the newest and last one, is released in theaters on Thursday–I have tickets already for the 3PM show.

My trip across Beaverton back to the Volvo cave was without events, and Hall Boulevard is still open, making the trip uncomplex–no detours. I was dead tired when I arrived at the Volvo cave.

Moving back to the start of the day, I woke early and rolled over, and only seconds later, it was 6AM and time to start. I had a 7:30 status meeting at the office, so I had to start early and rush. Yes, in the strange logic of IT, I drive in to do a Zoom meeting in the office at 7:30. I do a few hours of status meetings, and we identify an issue that was declared a crisis, and for a moment, it was. We cleared the issue in a few hours–it was already being resolved. I also had to explain to a smaller group that when we have unworking critical data loads, it is best to fix it, even if that too is a risk–it is bad to have a break, but it is worse to not fix them. Leadership may want to delay the fix implementation to reduce the risk and noise in the current go-live, but we must have the fix done and ready. I seem to be teaching a new group of folks how to do production support–but at least they listen.

Well, readers, that was my day. I struggled with fatigue the whole day, but I have the next two days off, and the weekend work appears to be minimal too. We work Monday on the shifts and will likely work the next weekend.

I am not going out to get a beer or anything like that tonight. I will do the dishes, relax more tonight, and stay home. I will sleep in, sort of, on Thursday.

Aside: I am still paying over $8,000 in monthly health expenses after insurance. I am starting to burn through the cash I borrowed from my 401K ($50,000). Nike bonuses are paid in August, and I have $30,000 in Nike stock (from the stock purchase program) and other liquid investments. This should be enough for any surprises to reach the end of 2023. My financial plan is to not sell assets for this year if I can avoid it, so I can get a considerable tax refund to help cover next year. I have increased my 401K and deferred compensation to reduce my taxable pay to enable this. I also plan to cash in Susie’s IRA for next year as Susie is over 59 1/2, and that will likely cover any expenses and surprises when added to the tax refunds. For 2025, I am ready to cash out stock options as needed (hoping they are still above water) or refinance the house to cover another year, but that is out too far to plan more than a penciled-in plan. I can cover the high medical costs for the next couple of years and see that I will be OK even in the misty future.

Thank you for reading.

 

It is 9PM on Tuesday evening, and I have rested all evening as I thought it better than trying to do all the impossible things I need to do. I instead binged watched the latter half of Netflix’s Wednesday series. It was beautiful, and I liked it a second time. I am feeling better too, and it seems to be the right thing to adopt a more paced life this week. I have taken Thursday and Friday off. I reached 168 hours of Paid-Time-Off (PTO), so it was time to take some time; I have tried to keep my PTO number between 140 and 160, thinking this is about the time that a medical leave took to be approved for the last two times. Thus, I try to keep three to four weeks available.

I made dinner today; I found one of the bagel-like bread products locally produced in the freezer, toasted it and made a curry tuna fish salad melt for dinner. I found some celery and scallions on their last legs that were perfect for mixing with the tuna fish and roasting in a broiler. It was delicious.

I must go shopping and get various items to cook the frozen chicken in the freezer. I could use some fresh produce. I might do that on my day off.

I left the office, Nike’s Clubhouse building, not on the WHQ campus, after the last Zoom status meeting at 4:30. Today was the start of working from the office, and there was free lunch and free Starbucks until 10AM. I am sure, dear reader, that you are not surprised that we have our own baristas in Clubhouse serving Starbucks. Coffee and other like products are made in plastic glasses; later, these glasses are collected and washed, and reused. We also have free kombucha served cold from beer-like dispensers–excellent.

In the afternoon, I had status meetings and discussions about some post-go-live fixes (and some ASAP fixes). This was after visiting Susie at the hummingbird house in Portland (Tigard) at Allegiance Senior Care LLC, 9925 SW 82nd. Ave. Portland (Tigard), OR 97223; phone (503) 246-4116. Susie was happy to see me after lunch (both her’s and mine), and we quickly toured Metzger Park. I was dragging, and the heat was getting to me–I was exhausted. We found the shady bench off the path in the redwoods and cedars. These are not the giant redwoods; one, our favorite, loses its leaves, a Dawn Redwood. I have planted one, which has doubled in size, four inches now.

There we watched the kids and folks walking their dogs (some of the dogs seemed to be walking their humans). I saw fewer butterflies, only one instead of three. Oregon Swallowtails live only a few weeks.

We called Leta, Susie’s mother, and talked to her for a while. Michigan was overcast and damp. We talked for a while.

Soon, I was fading, and I returned Susie to the hummingbird house and Jennifer’s care (the weekday nursing aide) and kissed her goodbye. I returned to work without issue.

Going backward, I had lunch from the trucks and had a Cubano sandwich that came with a free nap. It was good, but I regretted that as I was dragging after eating it. I sat with Michelle V while we ate our lunches, who was my first boss at Nike, and we have been working together for years now on Nike’s SAP software. Michelle V and I chatted for a while–it was nice to catch up. After I ate the sandwich, sleepy now, I headed to Susie’s, as I described, and had no issues, and Hall Boulevard was no longer closed.

Before this, I woke at 6AM and then put off starting until 6:30, which seemed to be five minutes later! I had cereal with milk with liberal coffee made in my French Press (reassembled after running through the dishwasher). I read emails, Slack updates, and news reports to prepare for my day. I showered, dressed, collected my Nike computer, and boarded Air Volvo. There are no school buses as school is out, and the traffic is lighter as parents are no longer driving helter-skelter to get their kids to school. I arrived on time and started my status meetings at 8AM.

I also had some knowledge transfer sessions with our software vendor. I asked some hard questions, and the developers admitted, which is good, that they did not know the answers to my questions. I emailed the leads that we need to review the interfaces later and consider how we could harden them. The code I saw was not resilient, restartable, and had weak exception handling. This is not unusual as this is a new group writing code for a new system, and I am not sure they know how to produce code at the quality I expect. Adding resilience later is not unusual; you often need to run the software for a while to learn where the weaknesses are.

I spent the morning reviewing designs and code and attending meetings.

I was tired and put in for a few days off after checking if we expected a quiet few days before the cutover this weekend. It was going to calm down, so I took the days off.

Aside: I refueled Air Volvo and was unhappy that the oil companies decided they needed more money. Gas is $4.75 now. We continue to believe this is a fair market. Gas is priced differently by area, not national rates, like gold, grain, or crude oil. Instead, the refineries charge the most they can in the local areas.

Thanks for reading.

Today I am sad. It is hard to get the feeling of wanting to cry all the time to go away. I have had it now for a few days. I am considering taking off Thursday and Friday to see if I can visit the art museum or just work on the radio project to find myself again.

It is Monday, a work-from-home day, so I rise at 7AM with my alarm. It is more like a summoning from dark dreams. I dreamed of moving to a new house, and I could not finish as I was alone and had so much stuff to pack and move. As I moved from room to room in my dream, I would find more things that I could not pack and move. As the dream went on, I felt more and more sad to lose so much and overwhelmed. Not an easy dream to shake off!

I work from the back bedroom as my office, and it is already bright when I log on to the Nike network and my computers. During the pandemic, I used to have the Nike laptop on my right, my Apple in the middle, and Bloomberg playing on a secondary screen from my Apple with the sound off and the CC on. Now I just use the two, as Bloomberg would have to be purchased.

My first status meeting is at 7:30, ugh, and there are multiple review requests from India’s day. I listen to the defects in the status meeting while updating the documents with perfunctory reviews to clear as much paperwork for our team as possible. This was followed by hours of more status meetings, all done on Zoom.

I took a break from these mind-numbing tasks and revised my 500-word horror story–It is much improved but still needs work. Every word needs to be essential and add to the work; no word can just stand for one use or meaning. After an hour of work, it is a better story.

I spotted the large foot-long turtle on my neighbor’s lawn laying eggs. The turtle is an invasive species (it has a red stripe on its neck, meaning it is not local), but I cannot kill it–it is too cute and big. It was someone’s pet that they illegally let loose in the local waterways, and it has thrived. I have never seen the eggs hatch, but I assume they must hatch, and the tiny turtles must reach water or be lost to predation.

I returned to the meetings until lunchtime. I finished the jambalaya I made a few days ago after reheating it in the microwave for lunch and watched some more of Netflick’s Wednesday show. I am on episode 4; this is my second time through it. It is good the second time, but I still fail to catch all of the character Wednesday’s quiet statements. Paraphrase: Nobody tortures my brother (followed by and said quietly) except me. My failing hearing may force me to use captions soon.

I head out before 1PM to see Susie at the hummingbird house in Portland (Tigard) at Allegiance Senior Care LLC, 9925 SW 82nd. Ave. Portland (Tigard), OR 97223; phone (503) 246-4116. Hall Boulevard is still closed, but the detour is faster this time–Next time, I will avoid Hall Boulevard. When I arrive, Susie is asleep in her recliner in the shared living room. Jennifer, the weekday day nursing aide, says Susie ate well but was tired again. Susie was sleeping through Harry Potter, her favorite.

I used Susie’s room for a meeting, and then we woke Susie and moved her to her bed so she could be more comfortable, and I could work from Susie’s room with a table, laptops, and the overstuffed chair. I picked the original Mary Poppins, which made Susie happy–she was singing along. We paused the movie when we called Leta, Susie’s mother, to chat and for a few meetings I had to attend at Nike.

As I said, Susie loves Mary Poppins, and she stays awake for the whole thing. I admit I might have absentmindedly sung along while working on a Powerpoint presentation. With the movie done and all my meetings for Monday completed, the night nursing aide put Susie in her wheelchair, and we went for a tour of Metzger Park.

It was warmer outside than in the AC in the hummingbird house and quite comfortable. It was after 5PM, and the warm sunlight did not strike you. We saw older kids and young adults in the park as it was past working hours and school was out for the summer. It was a pleasant walk. There were many dogs out for the evening walk after work.

Soon, I was back at the hummingbird house and kissing Susie goodbye. She was trying to be brave but upset to be left. My heart broke as I went. I headed to Portland to have dinner with Mariah trying to find my happy place–I could not find it. Mariah changed our met to Hopworks off of Powell in Portland while I was driving in, but I could change the navigation to get that to work and arrived only ten minutes late. I had a beer and a Rocket Burger in the bar, and we talked about life and writing. We both agree that many writers need to write as if they only get 500 words!

After dinner, I headed to Wildwood Taphouse and tried to finish the blog there. I had another beer and then chatted more than wrote. I started to feel the sadness fade. I stayed until the last call and closed the place at 10PM.

I then drove home and, there in my office, finally finished the blog.

Thanks for reading.

 

 

I am just home at 10:20PM and tired, so this will be more of a briefing than a blog.

As I usually try, I spent the afternoon with Susie at the hummingbird house in Portland (Tigard) at Allegiance Senior Care LLC, 9925 SW 82nd. Ave. Portland (Tigard), OR 97223; phone (503) 246-4116. The traffic was light, but Hall Boulevard had closed again, and I spaced that until I was too close to try another route. I spend an extra ten minutes in a lovely industrial park again–I am beginning to recognize the buildings now. Susie was happy to see me; Anassa had put her in bed as Susie was tired and sad today. Susie managed to eat breakfast but soon fell asleep in her recliner in the shared living room. Anassa thought Susie would be more comfortable in her bed. Susie still looked sad and tired when I got there but was delighted to have a visitor.

We changed this around a bit so that Susie could see the TV in her room better and I could be closer to her. Anassa brought one of the coffee drinks I got for Susie. I poured it into a cup, and Susie liked it and drank half of it. I finished the other half, drinking from the bottle. We both could use some mocha coffee. We watched the fourth Indiana Jones movie, The Crystal Skull, and I liked it better this time. Susie stayed awake for the whole film. We paused it once, called Leta, Susie’s mother, and chatted for a while.

I started Elton John’s recorded live concert after the movie was completed and stayed until after 4:15. Susie loves this version. I kissed her goodbye once it was going, and Susie looked comfortable. She was also a bit happier, so the longish visit, the movie, the coffee drink, and now Elton John must have helped Susie find herself.

The pizza protectors we retain and then use for flying figures. My paladin of death is before the creature wearing a metal helmet and wielding a sword.

After I left Susie’s place, I headed to the Oak Hills McMenamins, and there I had soup, Lentil Curry, and an iced tea for dinner. It is on the way to Cory’s house, so it is an excellent place to get a quick bite before going to Cory’s to play Dungeons and Dragons, 5E, for the evening. After my quick lunch, I drove to Cory’s place and was just a few minutes early for 5:30 D&D. It was a busy game to 9PM with us role-playing arena combat and a fait accompli that means the next time we play, we will need to rescue one of our player characters! It was a good night of gaming, and my character, a paladin of death, nearly experienced death.

You can see the arena with us fighters up against a hulking creature.

I had cereal with milk (plus liberal coffee) for breakfast. I reheated some spicy Popeye chicken for lunch and had that with a pickle and potato salad (finishing both).

Well, I am getting exhausted. I will not retrace starting the morning (I was awake too early), the Zoom meetings (just one), and getting ready–it was the same as most days.

Sorry for the brief blog! Thanks for reading!

Saturday has left me sad. Susie was upset when I went on Saturday at 2ish; this breaks my heart. I know that, for Susie, it will fade quickly, and she will be fine. With her short-term memory issues and a nap, she will be fine again in less than an hour, not remembering the emotions. But I remember, and it hurts, and it is hard to start again and do yet another day, but I must remember for both of us. This is a journey, यात्रा, and I must accept that and keep it sacred. In Christain terms, I am in the wilderness for forty days–I must remember my faith. It ain’t easy.

But I push on and find the strength to keep going. Routine, like writing this blog, is my best defense, as the resting and distracting things like board games. I read emails, the news, and dress. I find comfort in the familiar.

I rose on Saturday morning feeling a bit better. I have the AC back on, and that clears the house of pollen (I replace the filters often). It is the weekend, my team has completed all data conversions, and even the updates are flowing–we are just monitoring and being available. To that end, I am still attending the morning Zoom calls (I begged off the evening calls) all weekend. I started writing the blog (I decided to let Friday’s story wait to be written on Saturday). The meeting is short, and I drink liberal coffee from my French Press and eat the remains of the tamales for breakfast (a poor choice as I am feeling slightly off after that). I also edit the 500-word horror story I have been working on for a week. I do not find time for my radio project. I am looking at a short visit to Michigan around the weekend of 10Sept2023 as my sister is getting married that weekend. I will have to make everything refundable as Susie might need me then–I can plan nothing in advance while on my journey.

I travel to see Susie by boarding Air Volvo. I nearly take the trip over Cooper Mountain, but I remember that construction might be there too, so I cross over Beaverton as usual. The traffic is light until I find that Hall Boulevard is closed again (ugh!), and I am forced into a significant backup in an industrial park that circles around the closure. Thus, after an additional ten minutes touring an industrial park (nicely filled with trees and green lawns) and building below three stories (we have strong building codes now, and the earthquake reinforcement for taller buildings is quite expensive–so most facilities are kept low and wide), I finally reach Susie’s place at the hummingbird house in Portland (Tigard) at Allegiance Senior Care LLC, 9925 SW 82nd. Ave. Portland (Tigard), OR 97223; phone (503) 246-4116. I did have to go in the wrong direction to get beyond the lock-up and U-turn to get back on track.

I make a stop before reaching Susie at Target. I picked up some Ensure with protein for her and another brand in her favorite flavor, Strawberry. I added some Frappuccino in bottles from Starbucks Company that she used to love. I also acquired two sets of flowers as the roses I cut and brought are fading. I deliver these, and Susie is delighted to get new drinks (she is worried about her weight loss), and flowers are always welcome.

Next, Anassa, the weekend day nurse aide, pops Susie into the wheelchair, and we head outside into the hot, warm Oregon weather. Butterflies are everywhere, yellow bright Oregon Swallowtails, with an occasional Monarch or smaller moth also zooming by to add more colors. I roll Susie down the street for a short direction and then through the tennis courts, missing the bumping crushed stone that now fills the parking area, and then back on to the paved trails through Metzger Park.

Many of the benches were in use, but we found one in the sun and enjoyed the warm sun. We called Leta, Susie’s mother, and chatted on my iPhone using FaceTime. Susie started to fall asleep in the warm sun, so I rang off, and we toured the park and left the way we came, the tennis courts. Next, Anassa set Susie up in her bed so we could watch a movie. We did the animated version of Aladdin (I like the newer one better as Jasmine becomes Sultan in that story, and I like Will Smith’s character). Evan appeared about 1/4 into the film and argued it was better than the new one). Susie enjoyed the movie but was unhappy when I left at 2ish (I delayed lunch until after our visit), as mentioned above.

Evan and I headed to Portland, and after some light traffic, we found a train again blocking our path. I drove to the end of 99N and took it back to SE (it is built over the industrial area and the train tracks) and was soon in a very busy Rogue Brewery. Richard was free this afternoon and joined us a bit later at Rogue. I got a beer and a BLT with avocado (very west coast) called a BLTA. Evan showed up after a while as the train and found parking (I parked two blocks away).

We played the board game Vindication adding in Loot and Pets for the first game (nobody used them, so we removed them in the second game). Evan managed to take the lead and keep it in the first game. I unthinkingly ended the game early while behind. While not a blow-out, Evan was more than seven points ahead of me.

I will not describe the game in detail. It is a Kickstarter game from 2018, and I was involved in the game design and recommend it as it is easy to play but is hard to master–my favorite type. It has a substantial discovery and map-building mechanic combined with resource management. It is not a brain burner and plays fast.

We had time for a second game, and in that one, I took the lead early, playing with more care (except at the end when Richard pointed out a mistake that I corrected). I managed to keep my lead. Evan unexpectedly ended the game and found himself in last place, with Richard almost catching me. It was a close game, with it being anyone’s game and Richard’s slow engine-building skills showing by his sudden point growth. He agreed with me later that getting companions instead of buying all the movement at once (for a sudden 10+ point scoring) might have been a better plan (you get some superpowers with some companions), might have worked better. It was nice to play a three-person game.

I paid the bill at Rogue and headed to Richard’s early (he said I could come early and invited Evan to a game tonight, but Evan demurred). Once there, we set up a new game (for me), Darwin’s Journey, a recent Kickstarter game I did not support but is by the same designer as a favorite, Grand Hotel Austria. I found Darwin’s Journey a smooth-running and intellectually easy-to-follow game. Unlike other games, there is a limited set of clean-up and between-turn mechanics (Weather Machine and Grand Hotel Austria are harder to play as they have complex between-turn processes), but those that exist are clear and can’t be missed or done wrong. It does use bonus titles that are competitively acquired that I don’t like, but it includes a worker improvement system that I like (meeples need to do more than just be markers). The price, under $50, makes it an easy recommendation. The upgraded Kickstarter versions are selling for $150, the usual buy-in price for the upgraded games.

I played and took the lead early, but my lack of focus on the bonus tiles set me back to third place, a distant third place. Shawn scored high for a first-time play. Richard scored a new high score lapping me twice! Still, I liked it and would play it again (warning, my second play is usually worse until I work out the rules). We played the newbie set-up; excellent, the game has that too.

After that, I headed home early and took the high-flying bridges and on-ramps I had never enjoyed in Portland. I arrived at the Volvo Cave without incident in Air Volvo. I stopped by Popeyes, got some chicken, paid too much for coleslaw ($4.99–more than a gallon of gas), and ate the chicken breast and sides while I rewatched episode three of Wednesday on Netflicks. I have to play it loud as my poor hearing misses some of the character Wednesday’s side comments. Paraphrasing: “I thought I was going out of my mind, and I am not enjoying it as much as I thought I would.” I still miss some, but I like it on the second take. Recommended.

After that, I went to bed but could not sleep, and instead read the rules to my newly purchased copy of Furnace. This is a lighter (and cheap at under $50) board game for 2-4 players that involves bidding and scheduling that I find quite appealing (and I am good at it). One of the few games I have beat Richard at.

I look forward to playing it in the future, and once I read the rules and looked at the components, I could sleep.

Aside: I play board games (and Role-playing games–RPG) not so much as to win; winning is always fun, but to play to understand the mechanics and flow of the games. The strategies are interesting to me. I get to forget everything for a few hours and immerse myself in an artificial world and see its wonders and incredible mechanics. I have had to get better at the competitive parts (especially the engine building) to understand more and explore the wonders.

Thank you for reading.