Today 11Oct2023

Dr. Peter “Pete” Koper has headed to a nearby hotel. He flew in today from Michigan to see Susie. Pete was Susie’s English professor, and they have stayed in contact for years. He was there when Susie was ill and saw that she graduated first while still in a coma. Pete was happy to stay with Susie today and will be back for some of the upcoming morning.

Going backward, I spent the day at the hummingbird house, keeping Susie company. We had quite a few calls, some FaceTime. Dr. Kulkarni, one of Susie’s first cancer doctors and a good friend, called and got a smile and a wave from Susie. The hospice folks from Serenity Hospice came by and offered to help me with my FAM paperwork and even offered to have people sit with Susie if I needed that help. They will be checking on Susie every day now. Susie is unable to safely swallow her meds, so most are discontinued. Comfort meds that dissolve in the mouth are being provided. Susie’s month is often dry, and Jennifer has swobbed Susie’s month often.

Again, Pete stayed with Susie for the early evening. I got sandwiches from Panera Bread for Pete and me while he held Susie’s hand. Dondrea and Z came by to visit too. I did two FaceTime calls to Barb and Leta (Susie’s sister and mother, respectively). Jennifer, the weekday nursing aide, turned Susie about every hour and helped me keep Susie comfortable. I had a few pieces of left-over pizza for lunch–excellent. I do not need too much food to make me sleepy.

I started the day at 7:30 and took some time to get started. I made the bed in case Pete wanted to use the house and finished packing a bag for a longer stay. I was on the road in Air Volvo by 9ish and arrived before 10ish. I had liberal coffee and some cold cereal with milk for breakfast. I slept well–I needed some rest.

Please know Susie’s condition is grave, and she has hours or days left with us. It is hard to write that, but the truth is better. While I write a story that is positive (just my style), Susie is fading, and I am here with her.

Returning to the narrative. Susie watched M.A.S.H. with me for part of the day. We listened to random music and then Elton John and the Moody Blues. When I tried to switch to opera, she woke up and let me know that was wrong. I laughed and corrected back to more Moody Blues. I brought some magazines to read as it is hard to concentrate, and they seem perfect for a distraction.

The FAM forms from Sedgwick were emailed to me, but I had to call the company as they said I had not responded to their call. Possible. Nike, and other large companies, use Sedgwick to review leave and like requests. This protects the company from mistakes, but it can be harsh for the employees. So I was holding Susie’s hand and the phone with the other. I answered all the same questions I had filled out on their website (no, really, the exact same ones and I even have a PDF of answers as proof), and they also asked if this was my first child (F**k!). I pointed out that my wife was dying, not that we were having a child (thus the need for the leave); I was polite but a bit cold after that. As I said, Serenity Hospice says they will take over filling them out for me.

I will try to email the forms on Thursday. I am fed up with Sedgwick today. Serenity Hospice has provided a PDF of the forms for Susie’s hospice plan. I will attach that to the Sedgwick case later.

I try not to be grumpy with this process, but that does not mean I will not share my experiences. This blog is about the truth of experience. I write about what happens and how it affects us.

Susie is now resting, and her vitals are improved. I am writing and will be up tonight to stay with her.

Thanks for reading and joining me on the journey. Not a journey we would have selected, but one that must be experienced.