Author: alohawild

Going backward, I was back at the house at about 9:30 in the evening. I was exhausted, and Matt had offered to drive me home if I was too tired to drive. I was OK to drive. We played Dungeons and Dragons 5E for 3 1/2 hours, which left me fatigued. I really started running out of a stream in the last hour.

I went to bed and read a bit and quickly slept.

Returning to the narrative, It was nice to see the group back and running with a new campaign. The group has been playing together for over ten years, some of us going back more years.

The game is part of a campaign we have been playing for a few months. We had finished our other campaign, which featured a Mad Max version of Hell that had lasted quite some time with interruptions for Covid-19. Matt had, as usual, provided most of the material for today’s campaign, including miniatures of frog people dressed in formal court ware with fluffy white collars! Matt has the best toys!

Leta and Barb, Susie’s mother and sister, were finding their own dinner without me today. I made a salad for dinner with some lunch meats and olives to make it more of a chef’s salad. I was happy that I could eat something cold. The extreme cold sensitivity is fading but remains in my fingers, face, and feet.

In the afternoon, I had left Barb and Leta with Susie at the Forest Grove Rehab and Care Center at 3900 Pacific Highway, Room 4A. I was tired and could not last long, so I headed out after only about thirty minutes.

I had driven there from the house as I needed to pick up stamps for some thank you cards that Susie would dictate. Leta and I also stopped by the pharmacy to get batteries and my prescriptions that I forgot to get the day before. Also, I am back on iron pills after the prescription expired, which might help with the apparent anemia.

Leta and I met Anne and Wayne Weld-Martin for lunch before this. We met them at Red Robin, the first time I had been back to this one in almost three years due to Covid-19. As with most chains, the menu had been simplified, and soups had been dropped (!?), but chili was still on the menu. Red Robin masking was optional, and none of the staff were masked. Folks were still separated by six feet.

When we were ready to leave the table, the pay system crashed. Wayne bought lunch; thanks, Wayne! I had the chicken plate while the rest of the folks tried burgers. Anne when for the vegan-styled burger.

Before lunch, we went to First United Methodist for church. Barb had dropped off Leta early, taking the back roads to the church (Farmington Road) without traffic or lights. Karen, the treasurer, gave an excellent sermon on how she connected with her sons. This was through books and movies (lots of films, including everything Marvel).

Before church, I had a slightly rushed morning of getting going and writing the blog in time to make it to church at 9:45ish for the 10:30 service.

I had slept well enough, but the 6:30 alarm was still unwelcomed. As usual, I woke before the alarm, proved hydration, and went back to bed for an hour. I fall asleep just minutes before the alarm, which startles me awake, most unwelcomed.

Aside: Years ago, I used to play a fantasy wargame called Divine Right, and Tyler Baker asked me if the game was ever revised. I was surprised that there is a 2002 25th Edition that was updated to some small amount and limited to 2000 copies. This version is only available now on the secondary market at about 150€ price. According to Wikipedia another version was once under development in 2020, but, as has happened with a few other games products (i.e., Nemo’s War and The Judges Guild), the project was hosted by a group that included white supremacists organizations or by folks that opening espoused those view. In the case of Divine Right, there has been no word of a new version being published. I have not located my 1979 version copy. It is likely thrown in a box somewhere or was lost years ago. Apparently, a new like version, mine is used, sell for $$$$.

 

 

I could not sleep until late on Saturday morning. This made the alarm at 7AM most unwelcomed. But Leta and Barb are here, and so I get going early. Coffee, some baked goods, and a banana help me get going. I write the blog, having forgotten to take a picture of Susie when I saw her on Friday.

I hear from Susan’s sister that they are getting going at the hotel in Forest Grove. They have a hotel not far from where Susie is staying and a rental car. They wanted to limit the impact of their visit, so they stayed at a hotel and had their own vehicle.

I make a roast beef and cheddar sandwich for lunch. Corwin is late for work; he slept through his alarm. So I drive him to work after eating my sandwich.

I am better today, but nausea rules still, and the terrible dizziness will return in the evening. I find the walk across the parking lot at the Forest Grove Rehab and Care Center at 3900 Pacific Highway, Room 44A, seems much further.

Driving does not appear to tire me, and Air Volvo makes a pleasant trip to Forest Grove. It is a sort of sunny day. And when reaching the facility, the staff are happy to see me. The more permanent residents all say hello to me. Sadly, most see few visitors, so I am a bit shared experience with the folks here at Forest Grove. I am the guy that comes every day and wishes them all well and waves at them from across the facility when I am visiting.

With Covid-19 restrictions fading, Bingo is back (still with separate tables). I will see if we can get Susie into the game one of these days.

Barb and Leta (Susie’s sister and mother) are in room 44A with Susie. Susie is in her wheelchair. Susie’s roommate has been out for a few days now. So the room is ours.

Susie looks a bit overwhelmed and happy to have her family here. Barb brought Susie a milkshake that she has had a bit of. I am so glad that Susie, her family are with her.

I am tired fast, and Susie’s lunch is delivered. The nurse aide takes Susie to the tables near the nurses’ station, and all of us head out. Barb and Leta will be back after some lunch and shopping for a few items they need.

I head home and lay down after Air Volvo gets me without incident to the Volvo Cave. I have a headache (a new issue from allergies) and still get dizzy if I stand up too soon. I write some more Dungeon and Dragons as I only rest long enough to get rid of the fatigue as I want to sleep in the evening and get up early.

Leta and Barb meet me for dinner at Mazatlan Grill, the Mexican place near the house. They have been there before, so I thought it would work. Food is a bit heavy for Leta and Barb as they are showing some jetlag, but we do share a flan dessert.

They had back to Forest Grove to sleep in their hotel.

I return home, write a bit, and then just read in bed as I am freezing again. The extreme cold sensitivity still has not gone away. The blankets help, and I read more of The Words That Made US. I am deep in the whole chapter on Hamilton. I also did not know for the Whiskey Rebellion that Washington resumed his role and uniform as a military leader and led the troops on a horse into their campaign, with Hamilton riding with him also in uniform. He did then turn over the troops and then returned to his Presidency. I was not expecting a page-turner, and sometimes the author just revels too much in the details, but I really enjoy the book. I love how the author shows the Constitution is the map that helps start the government that we now call the US.

I finally fell asleep after midnight.

 

I was up about 7:30ish, having slept well. No nightmares on Thursday night and Friday morning. I got started reading emails and checking the news about the war. I write the blog for most of the morning. The dizziness is gone, and standing up does not cause stars. Much better.

I leave early and head out to Forest Grove. I stopped by Carl’s Jr. for their western burger with coffee and some fries (I don’t usually finish the fries). I then park in Fred Myers to get some items for Leta. It took me a while to find the distilled water and vinegar. I find myself tiring much faster than I expect. It is a workout to just cross the store with a cart. I am far weaker than I was at the end of cycle 2.

I need to spend these seven chemo-free days getting stronger. I will need to rest a bit more than I expected.

I drop off the supplies at the hotel. The front desk will get the supplies to Leta, Susie’s mom when they check in late at night. As their flight arrives in the evening in PDX, we will not see them until Saturday, so I drop off the stuff with the hotel staff.

Leta and Barb, Susie’s sister, have a hotel just a 1/2 mile from Susie’s facility. They have a rental car.

I reach the Forest Grove Rehab and Care Center at 3900 Pacific Highway, Room 44A, and discover Susie is not in her room. Instead, she is at the tables near the nurses’ station. While Susie and I chat, her tray arrives, and the nurse aide helps Susie eat. Lunch is pureed and is best described as four pools on a plate. Susie loves the pureed cheesecake. Always best to do dessert first, I think.

Susie tires quickly of chicken, rice, spinach, and cheesecake one 1/4 spoonful at a time. So I just sit with Susie for a while. I call Leta, and she is just through security in Detroit Airport; no FaceTime calls on a flying day.

I forget to take a photo. Susie is yawning and sliding down in the wheelchair. Time for her to have a nap. I head out. The walk to the Air Volvo was more challenging than I expected.

I head home, and instead of sleeping, as that will mess me up more, I try to write some Dungeons and Dragons material. Just sitting and typing seems a good substitute for sleeping or trying to work on my models. I need to just sit and relax.

Mariah calls. Why yes, I could use a drink at the Golden Valley Brewery is my answer. So we’ll meet there in the early afternoon. They are already packed, and Mariah gets a table inside that are well separated, and the high ceiling helps the ventilation, I believe.

I let the waiter know that I need him to keep his distance still as I am undergoing chemo. Unfortunately, the food is delivered by other staff who seem to believe that food should be delivered close and personal without masks. I lean away.

I have almond liquor warmed by placing the snifter over a hot glass of water to sip. That and a coffee. Mariah is trying their house wines. Both Mariah and I have the steak salad, the first salad I have had that I can eat without microwaving it. I enjoy the local berry cobbler with ice cream for a dessert. It was a nice break, but the risks of unmasked staff being close and friendly makes me take pause.

I write some more for Dungeons and Dragons and then try to sleep. Sleep comes fast, and I wake screaming in my newest nightmare. It is only 12:30, and there is no sleep until the early Saturday morning. Every noise startles me and brings me back full awake. It is Spring Break, and folks are up late. Car doors are slammed all night.

 

The day started with me sleeping almost to 10AM. I am still tired and seem to need extra sleep. I manage to take pills, read emails, read the news, and write a long blog. It was the afternoon before I am done and made myself a ham and cheese sandwich for lunch. I am finally dressed at about 1:30ish.

I am dizzy when I stand too fast. The fatigue has me holding to something or sitting quickly in a chair. I am for a moment almost too weak to stand, and then the spell passes. I am careful now when moving.

Corwin surprises me by being up early and doing the dishes. He knows that I prefer to see the kitchen with some order when I get up. So he apologizes for not finishing the work the previous night and gets the kitchen in order.

I take Air Volvo to Forest Grove Rehab and Care Center at 3900 Pacific Highway, Room 44A, and travel through the Thursday Spring Break slightly heavy traffic without issue. The folks, staff, and residents, at the facility welcome me with smiles and waves. I have been going there almost every day for months, which gets me some street cred.

Susie is sitting in a wheelchair and at the tables near the nurses’ station. She is delighted to see me, but she can fall asleep in her chair–she needs to take a nap. We call Leta on my iPhone, and they chat about Leta and Barb coming on Saturday to see her.

It is a warm sunny day suggesting we are in California and not Oregon. Our climate, despite denials, has changed with us now getting sunny days in March. Unheard of in my first decade of living in Oregon, where March was just a gray constant rain and mist. We used to say of the first six months of the year that the only difference was the temperature of the rains. Now we can see seasons.

I decided Susie needed to visit our California-like day and headed outside with her. I took her all the way to the Pacific Highway and the 57 bus stop. She used to ride that bus.

I managed to get Susie back to the facility, but I was now dizzy and seeing some stars. I have overdone it. Susie’s eyes are now only half-open. So she heads to a nap, and I head out. I take a few minutes in Air Volvo, waiting for my body to rest a bit.

I managed to drive home without incident and had no dizzy problems.

It is getting towards dinner time, so I make tacos from a box kit. I brown the meat and then add a can of cut tomatoes and the seasoning packet. I bake the tacos filled with cheese and meat. I like them better this way instead of trying to put the stuff in a cooked shell. I am careful to sit between steps and manage it.

I decide that I have overdone it and just read the rest of the night. The Words that Made US has turned into a page-turner for me. I am on page 335 just at the start of the chapter on Hamilton, yes that one. I also found Akhim Reed Amar’s website and listened to 1/2 his lecture on the anniversary of the Contitution (I finished it this morning on Friday). I would recommend the book just on the style, let alone the contents with footnotes and these notes are even further exploded on his web page.

Finally, I am asleep about midnight, putting the book down.

So what have I done in these two months of chemotherapy? I have read about a meter of books, with newly written history and related essays being about 1/2. The rest are brain cookies of SciFi, even re-reading one series. Shows are less interesting to me, but the Marvel-based Hawkeye holiday story and the star wars series so far are the best. I have slipped in a few horror stories too. But, I need no new bad dreams, so that has been very light. Military reading has been magazines and wargames about current times (the wargames show the importance of supply-lines and air superiority–Looks like Putin did not buy a copy even with his picture and name on the cover).

Thanks for reading. I will continue to read and share. Suggestions are welcome for the next book, which I hope will be less than three inches thick!

 

I am writing this now Thursday morning and slept in. This is my first break from chemo in two weeks, and I will spend the week trying to find the strength, literally in some ways, to do one more cycle. This Cycle 3 has included a trip to the ER and exhaustion. I knew it would be hard, but having allergies at the same time has made it much harder. The last cycle will be challenging too, but it is the last one, so anything that goes hard is just part of the voyage to get to the calm water. I am sure the cataracts of this last section of the journey will be impressive, but they are the final risky parts of this adventure. I am steeling myself and might have to watch some clips from the movie version of Henry V.

Returning to Wednesday, I was up and going at 8ish. I managed to sleep through the morning. The side effects are slowing, but I did have to take a laxative as the anti-diarrhea meds work too well.

I manage my morning routine, but I now have bananas and some excellent baked goods from Wholefoods to munch. I am excited at 10 to take the four chemotherapy pills and to see precisely four left. I managed to avoid a missed dose this cycle! Today, Wednesday is day 14 and the last day of chemo!

The nervousness and exhaustion rebound as the pills do their poisonous work; I feel weak and terrible. Evan wants to see Susie and maybe play a game, so we agree to him getting to the Volvo Cave about noon. I manage to dress and be ready.

Evan and I get to Forest Grove Rehab and Care Center without incident and pass through the Covid-19 prevention rituals. The facility has been blessedly free of Covid these last two weeks. We find Susie just finishing her lunch.

I have brought Susie flowers, and the nurses and aides are helpful and get us chairs; lunch is finished, all the other residents at the tables by the nurses’ station head out. So we have Susie to ourselves.

Susie is fatigued and wants to rest, but we managed to get her a call to her mother, Leta, on FaceTime. It makes them both very happy. They spend some time talking about Leta and Barb, Susie’s sister, coming on Friday late and seeing them this Saturday.

Susie asked to be put back to her room to rest, and Evan and I headed out to lunch. We will be back after that, off to the Grand Lodge.

I still can’t afford to get Covid-19, flu, cold, or anything nasty now, so I wear a mask. I am the only one, and we get to see our waiters’ faces for the first time in about a year. Although, after learning I was doing chemo, my waiter, Sophia, offered to get a mask for her, I demurred. I ask the staff to just keep their distance. Sophia seeing that delivering food and drink puts her too close, tried her best to be fast. It is the best I can hope for.

I have a Captain Neon burger, my fav with blue cheese and bacon, and their soup. The soup was nothing to remember. I take about twice as long to eat now, but the burger is terrific.

We return to the facility and are waved through the restrictions as we already passed them, but we do the mandatory hand washing. Susie is in bed now, her voice is clearer, and she seems more relaxed.

We spent some time with her, and she was delighted to get us twice. I am getting weaker, and Susie is often yawning, so we leave to let her sleep.

In Air Volvo, I nearly run a red light when a truck pulls in front of me and then runs the light. I was watching the truck, not the light. Evan calls that out to me, and we get to feel the steel welcome of Volvo detecting an event and locking us into our seats. Nothing happened, but Air Volvo was ready. I do love my XC60 Volvo.

Evan and I headed to The 649, which was busy even having just opened. We got our table and played a board game, Unsettled. This is a cooperative game from Vancouver, just across the river in Washington state, and involves trying to explore and survive a strange new world, SciFi gaming. I know the game designers and they consider me a part of their greater team, I am flattered. I did update their Discord with my pic below and some comments.

We get some drinks; I have Grand Marnier, heated over a class of hot water and a cup of fresh coffee. I don’t mix them, just sip them. Evan gets a drink too. But we soon are lost in the complexity of the newish game.

We make a few rules mistakes, but we are getting fortunate with our breakthroughs and unique planet opportunities; we are getting the good ones! We might have lost track of time once or twice, but we still manage to win with plenty of endurance. It feels like the first time we really have won Option A for the first planet. Next time we will go with Option B, a totally different storyline, but still on the same planet.

I have to admit that I nearly threw in the towel about 1/2 through the game. The fatigue comes and goes, but the sipping of Grand Marnier and the coffee seem to control that well. I might need a bottle of that for Cycle 4! Also, the game is immersive and challenging, with every turn and choice critical. I could not just stop.

We finish the game, winning, and I notice that there is almost no room in The 649 and our bartender, Stephen, has a line for drinks is nearly out the door. Some folks are masked, and others are not. The place is overloaded, and I am back to masked and slightly panicked. This is not safe for me anymore. I wave to Stephen, and he will just add a 20% tip and automatically close my tab when he has a free moment. We leave.

I am tired and get us to the Volvo Cave. I make grilled beef and cheddar sandwiches for Evan, Corwin, and myself for dinner. I use the rustic bread, have to cut it myself, and heat the sandwiches in butter on the pan. The secret is to pour some water in the pan and cover as best as possible to let the steam cook the sandwiches (steam can be hotter than 212F and reach the insides of food fast). The trick is to not soak the bread. If the bread is adequately buttered and grilled, it will repel the water. It makes a better sandwich than you will get anywhere.

I have some excellent pickles I slice and serve. I took the slightly damp one. Next time I will also butter the bread on the pan side!

I then say goodbye to Evan, collapse, and sleep deep in bed for two hours.

The kitchen looks like it has exploded, but Corwin says he will handle it.

I find it is 10PM, and I take the last four pills of Cycle 3. And then can’s sleep as I just woke up, and the poison that is chemo has to work. So I finally slept about 1:30AM.

But, we should cover some Spring topics.

The rosemary outside, the remains of my herb garden of twenty years ago, is blooming and fantastic. It is one of my favorite plants, and I recommend new homeowners plant it as it needs no care in the Pacific Northwest. Also, you can impress your friends by asking them to cut some fresh rosemary when you are making dinner. So foodie!

Mister Lincoln, the last new rose, was just a few tiny sticks when we got it, and we got two blooms the previous year. This winter, it has thrived and is now a small bush ready to explode into a huge plant. When I planted the three tiny sticks last year, Corwin provided me with the hole; I was not sure it would live. It is a modern tea rose, resistant to black spot disease and growing on its own roots. It is currently out-of-stock from my local rose providers; see here.

Thanks for reading!