Author: alohawild

The day started with me waking one last time in the spare bedroom. The master bedroom bathroom will finish today, and I am then moving back into the master bedroom. One thing going back to normal, finally.

I do the usual things and rush the morning as normal. I have a doctor’s appointment in Portland today with yet another surgeon. I also have more paperwork to give to the main surgeon for my leave for my cancer treatment. I was relieved that the leave request for Susie had been updated with the doctor’s paperwork. I have two requests running now.

So off to Portland, I call the Forest Grove Rehab Care Center and ask them to tell Susie in room 44A I will be in for the afternoon (her short-term memory does not always work). The traffic at 9ish is the usual mess, and I take the Providence Park exit and drive through the neighborhoods instead of coming in off the highway at the Pearl District.

The doctor appointment was not that interesting, which is a good thing. However, I was surprised to learn that they will use absorbable mesh and not a permanent mesh to repair my hernia. Apparently, the mess could pick up some infection from the bowel surgery, so absorbable mesh will be used to prevent a long-term infection issue with a permanent mesh.

I stop by Elephant’s Delli and have a Ruben sandwich in the car. The place has everyone masked except when eating, but the tables seemed too close to me for comfort, and I also thought the air movement was a bit low to be safe for the number of people in the shop. So I eat a messy and wonderful Ruben in Air Volvo.

After all that food, I take a mint from the box I keep in the car. My eyes burn soon. Yes, I left the N95 on, and mint fumes built up and then leaked out of the mask, and it hurts! So I call my sister about this, she is a nurse, and she laughs and tells me that if a person is screwing up, they offer them a mint. They straighten up after that offer. Yes, a mint in a mask is a dark joke in nursing.

I drive to the house in Air Volvo without any traffic or events. I forgot to take my meds, so I got them taken. It would be better to take the meds with food as I skipped breakfast, so this worked better.

I take Air Volvo to Forest Grove and find Susie has had breakfast and lunch and is uncomfortable. She cannot articulate what is wrong, but the nurses try to help. We watch Rudolf the Red-Nosed Raindeer on my Apple. I purchased the show for about $8. THERE IS no PT or OT or speech for Susie today, which slightly annoys me.

Susie is dressed and put in a wheelchair, and we are met at the social work meeting room by the head of therapy and nursing for Susie plus Julie, who does the insurance. It is clear to me this is going to be unpleasant.

I was right. The home believes that United Health Care (UHC) will not cover Susie for Rehab after Monday.  Even if UHC does decide to cover Susie, it will only be for three days at a time. It is likely in the next week, Susie will be discharged. Of course, it is not the lack of progress as they have only given Susie about 2/3 of the therapy (my count) they promised due to the chaos of the Covid restart of the home, but the insurance company. I have been down these paths before when folks in medicine blame the insurance company.

The cost to keep Susie there as private pay will be $350 a day. Also, this will not provide any therapy. To their surprise, I told them I would pay and wanted to cover the therapy costs. They actually tell me they would not recommend that as the billing for a session could be more than $1,000. So I just ask them to do it anyway (I do not believe that a 30-minute session will not be that much).

I explain to them that I have considerable financial resources, and this is about caring for Susie and not about how much money I have to pay. I am polite but direct and smile a lot. I also detect that they have been here before and want Susie and me to move on to the next part of our lives and let them have the bed. In the end, it is agreed that Susie will remain as private pay and therapy pricing will be reviewed, and they will get back to me. I am given the phone number for the appeals process for UHC and the phone number for nursing agencies they have used in the local area.

Susie will have to come home once I can manage it. I will pay more than $10,000 a month until then. I sold stock options when Nike broke $171 to cover the remodel for the bathroom, New York City expenses still remaining, and of course Susie’s stay in the home. I knew it would be costly and include a bit of unpleasantness.

I walk Susie around in the wheelchair for thirty minutes as I need to get my focus back, and since she is up, why not a tour. We do the trek about three times. Finally, I returned her tired and upset with the meeting we had to her room, and the nurses took over. I have a headache and kiss Susie goodbye at 3:45ish.

I managed to get back to the house without issue using Air Volvo. I try to find my calm, but that is not working. So I rest and read for a bit, but I am still upset. Jeff is just finishing up the new power plug in the entranceway (yeah!). He and I look over the work. It is most excellent.

My calm is not improved when my boss, Brad Jones, has forwarded a message from my leave request (thank you, Brad!). The paperwork for the initial leave request to care for Susie was incomplete and needs more attention from my regular doc. I call the service that does this work for Nike, and they tell me they have snail-mailed me the explanation and changes needed. I am a bit incredulous that snail-mail was picked. The person on the phone tells me they will email it to me in the next two business days, getting an unseen eye roll from me.

I am shaken now. Tears come. I have to solve this mess while in the hospital. I will try to get some help from friends, but I do not know if the doc is available during the holiday weeks. Usually, not.

Between the surgery prep, the endless driving, the insurance, the discharge, and the fact that every day is up at 6:30 to try to face another day helping with Susie, it is just too much for me. I am overwhelmed this time.

Thusly, I head for dinner alone (I am lousy company) to Sushi Zen and enjoy a fine spread of little plates delivered to me. There is no paperwork (except the bill), no complex human interactions, and a significant number of choices that I alone can make without discussing it with medical professionals. And sushi is so exotic to a person that grew up in the middle of mosquito and farm county in Michigan. Of course, I still have watery eyes, but it helps.

I manage next to take Air Volvo safely to Powell’s Books, explore their gifts, and find three books. This is working too, but the emotions come and go. I purchase a horror fantasy book from a series I have read before, The Bother’s Cabal by Jonathan L. Howard. The books in this series are not always great, but some are. I am hopeful this newer one is good (it is so far). I also find a present for Susie and maybe for Michelle Smith for Christmas (she might have it). My Christmas planning this year is, at best, limited. I also found a calculus book, A Tour of Calculus (the writing about math has improved recently, and I found I enjoy this kind of book now), and another horror novel by the author of Mexican Gothic about vampires–got to try that.

I return home without incident and still am without focus. I finish the bedding in the dryer and move my light, Alexa device, and books back to the master bedroom. I make the bed and find my calm.

While working on the bed, I remember that according to Hesiod, we are here on this earth to strive. It is not about the difficult challenge but the desire to move forward, get better, compete, and win if you can. I remember Hesiod saying that our lot from Zeus is to work and produce and strive to be the best or at least try to be. My copy of Hesiod (I have had it since 1982) is always next to me these days. Funny that this wisdom is buried in the lists of gods and practices, but it is in there. This gets me back.

I know it should be some reassuring phrase from Jesus or a Psalm that gets your back, but in my case, a long-dead pagan work for me. And since the poem that reminds me of this striving is “Works and Days,” it seems to fit.

I read my new book in my bedroom with my light and Alexa playing the Portland radio station Kink.FM for me. I have tea and snacks, including English Toffee I found at Elephant’s Delli. After that, I read too late, fell asleep at some time, and am calm.

Working backward, I was surprised to wake at 12:45AM when I had just wanted a short break of reading and a nap. I took my meds, went back to bed, and surprisingly fell back to sleep.

I had just planned to read a bit and relax. Yesterday and the day before were hectic. I read a horror story by Clark Ashton Smith, The Vaults of Yoh-Vombis. The story is a mix of cosmic horror often associated with H.P. Lovecraft and some SciFi themes. I find Clark Ashton Smith easier to read than Lovecraft, but not as creepy. This story is set on the Mars of Edgar Rice Burroughs and Lowell with mars-people and humans on a slowly dying mars. The story starts with finding ruins far away from the canals in a desert. The story is about archeologists exploring these ruins, and they manage to discover and unleash the true reason of how the original mars-based culture was destroyed. The horror is brain-eating slugs resembles a towel. It lands on your head, eats into your bain, and then animates what is left.

I slipped into sleep and dreamed of the creatures and running from them on Lowell-like mars. It was not restful sleep.

Before this, I was booting my new laptop. I bought a cheapish new Dell for my robot work with lots of older styled USB slots. My Apple is just too new of tech, and the M1 chip prevents older apps from running on my Mac. Setting up Windows 11 and two hours of patches load to get it ready to use. The keyboard is larger than my Apple, so I keep hitting the wrong keys, but that usually just takes practice to overcome. I tried out some YouTube videos. The graphics are weaker than my Apple, but the sound is good. I plan to take this one to the hospital and write my blog from the Dell Windows 11 machine. I was initially going to use a Unix system based on a Raspberry Pi (new fast model) but did not want to bring a hacked-together item to the hospital, and my Raspberry Pi laptop has a cheap keyboard. I needed a spare Windows laptop that I owned and had older-style USBs ports. Done.

Before this, I set the Dell to download patches and headed out to dinner with Mariah. I wanted a break and a beer product. So Mariah and I had dinner at BJ’s Brewhouse, and I had the Jambalaya and red ale, and we talked about biblical exegesis and criticism. Mariah had been reading a book on this, and I used to teach this years ago in Sunday School (I would not like to admit that was more than twenty-five years ago). I mentioned to her my favs for these topics, John Hayes and Bruce Metzger (if you look in the notes of the New Revised Standard, you will see Bruce as the primary translator and editor–loved and hated by all). We also talked about house buying. Mariah wants to own and stop wasting her cash on rent. She also would love to have a yard and make choices about her residence.

Before seeing Mariah for dinner, I arrived home, and Jeff and I looked and admired the new vanity and the near-finished bathroom, just a few fixes left. He had switched out the previous vanity for a new white one the same size as the original one, and it worked better. So we now understand why the larger size was there.

Later, I stripped the bed and washed the sheets. I will get my big bed back on Wednesday! I get to use the new shower this weekend.

My two-month to get an appointment with my regular doctor was today. We went over my health issues and Susie’s. The doctor wanted to reach Susie, but the nursing home does not have a phone in her room, and she has lost or washed every cell phone I have given her. I sent him the documents I have written on how I want the home to handle my illness and instructions on how to visit her. We discussed my asthma issues, and he asked me to measure my breathing using a meter and use the inhaler when the numbers are lower. I should not mix up a cough from an allergy and an asthma issue. My diabetes numbers are still good, 5.8 with <5.7 being normal, and the doc suggested that the incoming surgery will likely reduce my weight and improve the numbers. I resisted an eye roll on that one. It would be something I would use for my Howard stories (“luckily the suffering and surgery improved my A1C,” or something like that).

The paperwork for my leave for Susie is sent to the processors. I have to supply the same paperwork for my illness to Doctor Frankhouse, the surgeon for Tuesday’s procedures.

Before the two-plus-hour meeting with my doc, I left Forest Grove via Air Volvo. As I left, Zeriada came to Forest Grove Rehab Care Center, Room 44A, to see Susie. Zerida stayed with Susie for the afternoon and did her fingernails, and Susie was overjoyed to see her. Zerida does Susie’s spa days on Monday, but since Susie’s stroke in New York City in October, Susie had not been stable enough to come to Zeriada’s office. So they have missed each other! Susie and Zeriada had a great afternoon!

Zerida shared this photo.

Before this, I had slipped out for lunch at McMenamins Grand Lodge, just down Pacific Highway. The service was slow and struggling. The waiter suggested the Chicken sandwich; I needed to increase my protean for the surgery, agreed. It was good. I also chatted with the friendly and mostly lost waiter about Violet Blue, and she will look her up on the Internet.

Violet Blue is one of my few Internet-only friends. We have never met, but we chat on the service Patreon about Susie and me. Patron is a service where I help support Violet Blue’s writing with a small payment each month. Her stuff is later published a day later on Twitter, so you can read her stuff if you like for free. For InfoSec and Covid news, she cannot be beaten, and since she is liberal and a formerly homeless person still living in San Fransico, I am attracted to her stories. I recommend her weekly reports.

The food place’s computers were not working, so I got a manual credit slip. I used to do these for Dad years ago, so I filled it out and smiled to think of dad and the old store, Wild’s Furniture and Appliances, Inc.: “We Beat City Prices.”

Before this, I reached Forest Grove early as I had a doc appointment in the afternoon. Susie was happy to see me, was more awake, and drank a lot of milk. However, food is still hard on her as she chews forever, and she cannot seem to get it in the right place in her mouth to swallow. So the staff instead is pushing liquids and Ensure. Susie appears to be responding to that and seemed stronger today.

Susie had PT and speech therapy today. The PT guy, Cody, said she did a bit better today. She took more steps which again is a miracle as far as I am concerned.

I spent all morning a memo on how to visit Susie and how to reach people cleared to get medical information on Susie. I will send this out soon. I did this between everything and at lunch. Busy. Busy.

Before all of this, it snowed and froze in the Reedville, formally Aloha, area. It was very local, and the dangerous ice was only for a few miles. Our street was covered with black ice and was hard to even stand on.

As “the cold never bothered me anyway,” I just heated up Air Volvo, and off we went. The traffic was messed up for a few miles, but the ice and traffic disappeared after that.

I started at 6:30 and was able to go a bit slower as I had written the blog the night before, my preferred process but hard as I tire in the later afternoon.

I slept in a bit to 7:15 as I was tired this morning, and I woke at 5ish and then 6ish, so I wanted a bit more sleep. I needed to rush this morning and left after the usual things at 7:45ish. I stopped by McDonald’s for breakfast. I made it to the Forest Grove Rehab Care Center about 8:20ish and reached Susie’s room, 44A, while she was still eating breakfast. Susie sounded still weak, but she was not worse than yesterday, which is a blessing. I helped with breakfast a bit.

It was time for cleaning up, so I stepped out and went to the lobby. There is a large marine (salt-water) aquarium in the lobby, and I like to watch the sea urchin and the shrimp in the tank sometimes. I once had a marine aquarium, and when I see one, that old wish to do one again, but I have only time to look at them.

I found Dan, the administrator, and gave him the letter I wrote to the facility on how we wanted to communicate and what to do when I had surgery. Dan thought I would need a legal document, so I found one on the Internet and filled it out. After that, I would print it at home. But, the letter was essential to keep everyone on the same page; other legal documents support that.

Susie was finished with breakfast, and then the speech therapist came to work with Susie. The therapist worked with Susie for an hour and then spoke to me. The therapist believes Susie’s multiple strokes have damaged her ability to communicate and understand as the strokes were in different places.

At this time, I said goodbye to Susie for a bit and drove to Portland from Forest Grove, picking up my meds that I forgot to put in the car. The traffic was light at mid-morning on a Monday. I had a pre-operation meeting at Legacy Good Samaritan Hospital.

We went over all the meds; it was good to have brought them, and then blood tests. The stick was unusually painful, and I can still see the hole mark. The EKG was done so fast I thought it was the test run. Using a bright blue-colored machine I thought was a toy at first, my blood pressure was normal, and my oxygen levels were good. My blood pressure was so good she did it twice–still good. All I can say is, “Better Living Through Chemistry.”

Next, I met the nurse practitioner, who went over my history in detail and provided me a new set of instructions with some updates. She was wearing Nike running shoes slightly dusty from use. I learned she did not run anymore as she was an exercise machine, the famous type, and no longer gets injured like when she was running. My shoe company interests leak out once in a while. I am ready and locked in for 21Dec2021.

Next, I travel back to the house by taking Air Volvo out of Portland without event. I print out the form and return to the rehab center, grabbing Taco Bell along the way for lunch. I hated to get fast food ever since living in New York City for more than a month when even the fast-food was nearly perfect French baguettes sandwiches with soup.

I get back and remember to take in the tree from the Smith Family (+Jason) for Susie. It is a little live tree with lights. Susie was excited and happy to have a lighted tree.

I have a few stressful moments with the staff as I need to get the forms filled out so folks can help when I am out next week. But, finally, after I was very direct, we got the correct form, not the one I printed, and now folks can get information about Susie’s health. Medical decisions are still not worked out, but access is now set.

I also called a lawyer recommended by Zerida to get my boilerplate last will and testament done before the surgery next week. I want to ensure that Susie is cared for and the obvious things are done should something go wrong next week. The lawyers will have a draft ready in the next day or so, and I should be able to sign it on Friday. I wanted to solve other legal issues, but the lawyers believe these challenges will take longer to handle, so they will have to wait. A more complete estate planning will also follow later.

I finally say good night to Susie at 4:15ish and head Air Volvo back to the house again. Jeff is there and, as I expected, not entirely done in the bathroom. One more day. The vanity does not quite work, but we can make a few adjustments to make it work well enough. The shower and toilet are perfect. I will be back in the master bedroom on Tuesday!

I microwave some soup that Zerida sent for me and a tamale which she told me were Peruvian style. It was fantastic and easy–I needed that. I also talked to her, and she will come to see Susie and do her nails and a bit of spa stuff on Tuesday afternoon. Zerida will also stay with Susie on 21Dec2021, my day of surgery.

I talk to Michelle and Dave, and they will drive me in for the surgery. I just need to work out the pick-up time here at the Volvo Cave. I will review the documents, newly revised, and see when I need to be in Portland.

I watch an episode of the Wheel of Time on Prime. I liked it, but it is hard to follow. I will watch more.

I received a Kickstarter reward today that is very late. However, it is nice that folks still try to deliver: Five Moons Roleplaying Game: Player Guide. It was promised in 2015. One of the spells, flipping through the 64-paged perfect-bound book, is Minor Undead Pet; I like that. I think I got a previous book two years ago–I will have to find it and put it with the new book.

I mailed the cash containing cards to Susie’s various younger relatives and will do Heifer International gifts for the older folks. Fruit cakes have already been sent out. Happy Holidays!

It was a busy day and night.

The day started with me up at 6:30 as usual. I hate getting up early on Sunday. I still remember when I used to get up late with Susie in the 1990s when we lived in Maryland and drove down to Georgetown in DC and find breakfast there and do some shopping. Susie found some very lovely clothing there over the years. I love Oregon, but I do miss DC somedays.

I managed to remember everything this morning and get to Susie by about 9:30. I even managed to get breakfast at McDonald’s. I used the one in Hillsboro with a fountain designed like tidal pools.

Susie was looking tired and worn-out. I learned that Susie was up and dressed and had breakfast at the table with the nurses. The nurses also reported normal vitals to me for the morning.

Susie was drinking water and still having trouble speaking. We called Leta and Susie had difficulty being understood. I had her vitals checked, and her blood pressure was low, and her heart was racing to 116 while in bed resting. The doctors are back on Monday, and I asked the nurses to alert the doctors to the issue.

Susie had no pain and was comfortable. I got a TV remote from the nurses, went out to Air Volvo, and got a screwdriver–I have a toolbox in the car, opened it, and replaced the batteries. I put on horse racing; Susie loves to watch the racing.

I stepped out for lunch and had a tuna fish sandwich at Subway. I also wrote final wishes for Susie and I and related notes for Leta and Barb, which I genuinely hope we will not need soon.

We found ice skating on the TV, and Susie was fascinated as usual by ice skating. I could hear her saying the name of the jump and how good it was while she watched.

Anne and Wayne Weld-Martin came to visit and managed to get to Susie’s room after going through the entrance ritual. They had called me earlier, so I had two chairs ready for them. They brought Susie some warm socks and a book and chatted with her. Susie had fallen asleep during the ice skating and was a bit sleepy. We prayed, and they left.

Susie and I said good night. I head out usually at 3 or 4 in the afternoon to have some part of the day left when I get home. So I took a break and a short nap.

I met Michelle, David Smith, and Mariah for Indian Food at Swaggart’s. I brought a bit of the leftover home. We chatted about NYC and food and had an excellent time.

Later, David and Michelle sent me a video of the snowstorm on Bald Peak Mountain; I call their Bald Peak home Smith Mountain. It is snowy up there!

Dan Gray brought me some old gaming stuff from a friend of his who passed. It is 1970s stuff. Some are orginals and never opened.

Zeriada brought over a lot of frozen soups for me that I think I will need soon. Zerida will likely visit Susie on Tuesday for a mini-spa treatment.

I have to rush in the morning to see Susie early as I have a noon pre-operation appointment with the medical folk in Portland. So I wrote the blog tonight to leave early on Monday.

I also updated my work time off, calendar, out-of-office message and made a new leave request for my cancer surgery and recovery. Busy, busy…

I started the day waking at 6:30 and doing all the usual things. I always find it strange to not have a weekend anymore. I just keep doing what needs to be done every day.

The blog seemed to write itself yesterday, and I was out of the house around 9ish.

Air Volvo carried me safely to Forest Grove. I began to notice rubble in the streets, and there was more wind than usual. The Oregon mist was heavy and going sideways. The traffic was even stranger; it was going fast! Even on weekends, Oregonians do not drive fast, but I had to be careful not to speed during the remains of a wind storm. At one point, I was nearly going 60 MPH on TV Highway!

A few lights were out, which means you treat it as a four-way stop. Everyone just went with it, and again this is not normal here. The passive-aggressive politeness usually makes it a contest of who will go last at a four-way stop causing many false starts and possible slow-speed accidents. Not today.

I stopped by McDonald’s in Frost Grove, and there was a long line of cars. The screens outside were not working, so two people in the heavy sideways mist took orders on a handheld. It went by fast, but even having the window open for just a moment damped me.

I finished my quick breakfast in the car and watched the mist slam the car a bit. I manage to be let in by one of the CNAs and head to Susie’s room: 44A. The place is empty as they are running on a skeleton crew on the weekend. Susie has had breakfast and is sitting up in her bed.

Susie is confused, her blood pressure is normal, and her heart rate is up to 110. Her face is tight, and her eyes look a bit strange. Susie is dehydrated and weak.

I get her water and get Susie to drink water, and in an hour, she packs in 16 oz via tiny safe sips. She only coughs a few times and then not at all; practice does seem to help!

I have the CNA check her vitals every four hours. She is not getting worse. I also get her some ensure and make sure the CNA and nurse, Sarah, are paying attention.

Physical Therapy shows they have a different person on the weekend, and she pivots Susie out of bed and takes her to the gym in the wheelchair. There they work on stands and try to walk. Susie is too unstable to walk, and standing is nearly impossible today. Susie is troubled by this today, but the PT person reassures us that there will always be good days and less good days.

I step out into the calmer weather, the storm is ending, and drive to the Grand Lodge for a sandwich. I am writing a letter to the facility about my upcoming surgery, what they will need to do, and their contacts. I write this all day between moments and when Susie is napping.

We watch the movie The Greatest Showman on my Apple laptop after lunch. This keeps Susie’s interest until mid-afternoon. She is tired now but looking better. However, her speech is tough to understand. Susie tries to nap, but the staff finally remember (after I remind them) to brush Susie’s teeth.

The staff is friendly, and Sarah, the RN, and I exchange cell numbers. I do not usually have the personal cell of the RN, so I am feeling better about leaving Susie. Sarah and the CNAs eat their late lunch while watching the final showdown of Portland and New York City’s men’s soccer team. NYC manages one goal, and that takes the game in 69 minutes. A hard loss for Portland in the rain downtown!

Susie is sleepy after being so busy and pushed hard to eat and drink water. So I leave her after 3ish. I am trying to hope for a good day for Susie on Sunday.

I notice more tree branches and other tree debris on the roads on the way back in Air Volvo. I stopped by RiteAid, once back near home, to get some cards for Christmas presents. Then, I decided to try the local sushi place, Sushi Zen. It is a track place, and I get a seat away from people and the door at the track bar. It was a hard day, and the treat to sushi improved my mood.

I never had sushi growing up in the Cold War in Michigan in the 1970s and 1980s. So it is exotic to me and wonderful. The texture of raw fish and the carefully made rolls and packages still thrill me. I did not have sushi until I moved to Oregon and worked for Nike Europe to write warehouse software (we call it all logistics now).

I do learn that the blood-red eggs are from flying fish.

I head home and rest a bit, and work on the letter some more and send copies out to check I did not miss anything important or have a phone number wrong. Michelle and David call and we meet to see the Bond-007 movie before it leaves theaters. I like it a second time, seeing it with their daughter in NYC when it opened last month.

I am home late and set the alarm to 7:30AM knowing I will likely awaken before that, but I could use a few extra minutes of sleep.

Sorry, this is rushed as I was up at 7:20…