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The day started with me waking without pain and lollygagging until about 8:20 again. Monday has no plans as I am still in the chemo-free days and just take my regular meds. These are also not required to wait until 10s, so I can take them early. Also, I have pizza from our small two-person (Mariah and me) Superbowl party, which is a great breakfast. I can’t do cold pizza and warm it in the microwave.

I manage to get ready and am on my way to Forest Grove Rehab and Care Center at 3900 Pacific Highway, Room 44A. I dropped off Corwin at work on the way. Also, Air Volvo did not need to warn me about the other drivers on the trip; Air Volvo makes a cute trolley car sound when it starts to prepare for collision avoidance. One driver did cross all the lanes, four lanes and a turning lane, with very little room for error, but that was more of an LA aggressive move than our usual overly relaxed Oregon drivers, almost deserved golf claps.

I stopped by a stand by the road in the rain, the first one with flowers, and a friendly group of young gals with Spanish accents had created baskets with rose arrangements. I picked one out and paid more than the asking price, and left with them smiling. It is St. Valentine’s day, after all.

Susie was out of bed, dressed, and watching the Olympics on TV in the nursing area. Susie was thrilled to see the flowers. There is a little frog in the middle with a heart.

Aside: Years ago, when Susie was ill, I found a frog stuffed animal at FedEx, which joined her in bed, and since then, “froggy” has been there to help Susie by her pillow. So this will be another one but at the facility. In addition, Susie has a little menagerie by her pillow at home (including three owls) of various helpful stuffed animals.

While we were hanging out, lunch came. Blender-ed spaghetti and meat sauce is not something I would recommend, but I stepped in and fed Susie. Her hands are not strong enough to feed herself. The cooks made one puddle of sauce, and one of something by color must have been pasta. So a little sauce and a little pasta puddle on the spoon. Susie managed to eat about 1/3 of it, and I did manage to be supportive the whole time.

Susie is not having a choking problem, and if one keeps to small bites and brings in the honey-thick water every couple of bites, she can keep going. Susie drinks from a cup now, instead of spooning the water too. And, to my surprise, she helped me lift the cup higher so she could get a drink.

I helped with the feeding as I had watched the day before and knew how we were doing it now, and the nurses and aids were just overwhelmed at lunch. I saw the ward RN actually running between rooms to keep up. The head nurse, Pre, was running too. I saw Julie doing one room; she is the nursing director. The weekday, Monday, is always busy as the insurance companies “wake up,” the Covid-19 tests are done on Monday and Thursday, and all the admin folks are there catching up on the weekend.

I then took Susie for the usual facility tour in her wheelchair, giving the nurses more breaks as they were literally running around. We wave to the smokers outside and various other more permanent residents. Most are missing legs or have leg issues that are disabling. They now live in the facility, many have decorated their rooms, and some are in private rooms.

Susie chats with her mother, Leta, via FaceTime in the big hall. We then call Joyce in North Carolina (NC) using FactTime, Susie’s aunt. Next, we call Glenda, also in NC, another aunt. We all celebrate St. Valentine’s via iPhone!

After being there for about 180 minutes, I leave Susie, not yet getting tired but having missed lunch; I needed to get something. Susie was happy to get her flowers, and I left her at the nurse station watching the bobsledding on the Olympics. She did ask about when she could go home, and I told her that would wait until I finished chemotherapy, and she nodded understanding. Susie has short-term memory issues, so I know I will have to explain this each day I see her, and that is hard in so many ways, but it is just like the lunch today, one bite at a time of a lunch we would not order if given a choice. So we just keep going, and as Leta tells Susie and Susie agrees:  We leave the details to God.

As I feel better and nausea is something of the past (and soon the future), I decided that a foot-long Coney Island is what I need. So I head to Sonics in Beaverton. Air Volvo finds its way, and I am shocked to see that only the drive-through is working. Apparently, there are not enough folks to service the usual park and eat system that Sonics is known for–The Red Button is down. Also, they take only credit cards and cash; no electronic payments or Internet orders can be accepted. A sign warns that they cannot source some eatables, so you may not get your fav.

Soon the long drive-thru line processes through, and my turn comes. I hear an older but friendly voice, a manager, and I ask if they can do a number 7, a foot-long Coney Island, and they are happy to do that. I also get onion rings and a Canda Ginger Ale (yes, it has sugar, but I don’t get them that often). I thank him for making it work, and his voice fills with a smile, even though the speaker and says they are always happy to serve. My food is perfect.

I drive my lunch home and eat it while reading my email. It was still messy out of the car. In my family, we used to drive to a Coney place in Flint, 90 min drive, as we all loved them. I remember my father taking me on a trip to Saginaw and getting a dog there at an A&W. “The best I have found,” my father told me. He was saddened when it finally closed back in the days of 18% inflation in the late 1970s. So lunch brought back days and memories of the past.

My church called, and they had leftover groceries from the food services provided on Monday. As I have cancer, they decided I would be a good target audience, and a box of canned goods and pasta was dropped off. It is always hard for an independent person like myself to accept help, but I am learning to be accepting of help. Thanks, First United Methodist Church, Beaverton.

Corwin finished work, walked home, and decided to make dinner. Nobody was on the Meal Train today, so Corwin was up. I purchased Blue Apron before the Meal Train was set up to give Corwin a means to help. He cooked a brilliant One-Pan Greek Chicken Thighs for two. Also, the food is delicious and has better choices.

Corwin also did the dishes, and we watched from the beginning The Legend of Vox Mechana and Corwin’s favorite animated Invincible. Both are Kickstarter-created series and have a different feel than more commercial-based animations. I did not enjoy Invincible as I can’t do super-powered heroes as it is just too ridiculous to me. But I would recommend the series to younger folks that love this stuff. It is well done with good writing and voices getting some feeling into the old-school animation.

Corwin and I then both watched the 40+ min “How to Play” video for Unsettled, my newest and long-waited-for board game. I know the creator, Marc, and love their previous creation, Vindication. I did not, in this case, have much input to Unsettled (some of my ideas did make it into Vindication) as I was busy working on the shoe company’s software and just surviving the pandemic with Susie having strokes. But, this is a crazy cooperative game with the sole goal of “Space is Hard. Don’t Die.” I had tried to read the rules and play, and Corwin and I aborted that mission. The video covered the flow of the game and made it playable. If you want to play this game, like many newer games I have played with Richard, you must watch a video to have a chance of getting it right and not blowing it.

We gave it a whirl once we both were refreshed on the rules. After watching the video twice and attempting the rule book, I could follow the process and play. I had to help Corwin here and there as it is a lot to take in, and I play many games like this with Richard’s group in Portland, so I am used to this kind of flow. It is essential to follow the mechanics with discipline while the order of play is up to the players.

The game was wild, with Corwin investing in science (breakthroughs in game terms) and soon having all sorts of new abilities thanks to better living through chemistry. I developed my science slower and mixed it up, getting resources and opening up the map and options for Corwin. The science I selected allowed for the use of Power to short-cut production and movement. We soon had a lab in place and about 1/2 across the board.

The game is cooperative. You all live or fail working together. The breakthroughs can be played on another person’s turn. Players work together on each player’s turn; no reading texts while waiting for your turn! Also, keeping two players’ figures on the same node was a good plan (don’t split up like in a horror movie).

You are slowly and then faster in the game, running out of options as the game pace changes as you complete objectives for the unique planet. Soon we were buried in distress and having hallucinations (a special rule for the first planet). We goofed the distress rules for the planet and retro’d that a few turns later–next time, we will be more careful with the distress cards. Finally, we managed to escape and have enough food to survive the return trip to earth even with all the learning and missteps. Yeah!

Unsettled is a new take on cooperative and space board games. Usually, you face Alien-the-movie experience in most cooperative and semi-cooperative (Richard has let me die so many times in another game–I went mad and wanted to destroy us all). Still, this game is cooperative, and the ability to play on another person’s turn creates a friendlier and more desperate feel. So I am happy with it, not typical for me, after the first game.

I went to bed after this and reread the rules to see if we goofed any more rules and was happy to find that we were running according to the rules. The one goof was a planet-only effect and was not in the rules or the video–that explains how we missed it.

I finally slept around midnight. I managed to sleep until the morning.

I stayed in bed until about 8:20ish. I was a bit rushed as I had an invitation to sit in the pew and be the audience for the church at 10:30. Nevertheless, I managed to do all the required steps, to be ready with a gay-pride tie on under a sweater. Discovering my Oxford white button-down collar shirt now fits better and maybe a bit large.

An aside: Years ago, I did just the heavy material white shirts for work and had them pressed and put on hangers. My shirts back then had that perfect flat pocket and slight stark that in the 1990s said this is a serious professional. Now, A dark t-shirt with some dragon or cheap logo says this is the right kind of computer guy to talk to. Hollywood made all geeks wear t-shirts. So at Nike, Inc. I wear t-shirts with logos and pictures. Star Wars and Doctor Who shirts getting the most compliments.

I took Air Volvo to Beaverton. I made it to church at 10:30, and the door was locked. But, I was right on time. So I knocked, and the door opened, and Dan Gray said I was just in time. As you can imagine, the church service was more familiar in-person than by YouTube, and I had one side of the pews to myself; I was the audience. The event went off without any serious issues. Dan joined me in the pews as we stood, while masked, sang Lift Every Voice And Sing. I am not sure adding my talentless singing improved the video experience online, but I tried to sing at least with feeling.

The transitions are hard. One mic failed, but that was quickly replaced by walking a working pic back and forth. Dondrea gave the sermon, and she, being a master of video, made it look easy. Her address was about love, and she described how the late John Lewis handled hate by facing it, often being seriously beaten, and trying to overcome it by provoking it. John Lewis taught us a love that requires action. Not to hate an enemy but to face an enemy’s hate with the simple resistance of protest.

Leaving Beaverton, I headed directly to the Forest Grove Rehab and Care Center at 3900 Pacific Highway, Room 44A, from the church to see Susie. The home has the doors better covered on Sunday, and Pre, Susie’s head nurse for her part of the facility, was at the door and passed me through the rituals. Later the Sunday crew were at the station at the door.

As is now usual for her, Susie was at the nurses’ table in an open area watching TV. Her lunch had been delivered. The aid was feeding Susie; Susie’s hands are too weak after the last strokes and not accurate enough to feed herself. I have not fed Susie for about a month, and the aid was, I saw, hoping I would feed Susie as a family member. But, I did not offer as I wanted to see how Susie was doing (she also choked a lot last time I did it). Susie has finely blender-ed food and thickened (to honey thickness) drinks. Often drinking water by a spoonful. Susie swallowed easily and had no pauses or failed to swallow. This is much of an improvement. Susie ate about 1/4 of the food. The aid says that sometimes she eats it all (even unusual for Susie before the strokes) and other days, like Sunday, just a bit.

After eating, I took Susie for a tour of the facilities, but it being Sunday, there were people everywhere. Also, Covid-19 is loose in the place, so we need to have Susie masked, and we need to avoid being close to any staff or residents unless medically necessary. So Susie and I went outside and toured the little rose garden, including the smokers’ hut. It was 65F with a hot sun and blue skies, definitely not the typical Oregon February weather. We sat in the sun for a bit, but Susie got cold fast, so just a few minutes in the sun. The daffodils, Susie’s fav, are nearly ready, and the rose bushes are waking up. Soon it will be lovely out there.

As is the norm here in the Greater Portland area, the smell was not just tobacco in the courtyard.

We then called Susie’s mother, Leta, using FaceTime in the main dining room. Susie and Leta chatted for some time until the noise of the Super Bowl Sunday party set-up started.

I started to tire as I had rushed all morning and driven Air Volvo to Beaverton and then to Forest Grove. So a short visit. I asked the nurses to let Susie join the party and watch the game.

I stopped by RiteAid and got a bottle of red wine and chips and then returned to the Volvo Cave home. I put on the pregame show and changed into a t-shirt with Cthulhu cult symbols–not a statement but just a clean shirt. Pizza arrived, ordered by Mariah while I was visiting with Susie, which was supposed to be delayed until mid-game but showed now.

Corwin was home as his stuff was thrown all over the living room. I had to move it all to the dining room and then fold a few blankets to feel safe walking through the area.

Mariah experienced the insane slow driving that I had enjoyed on my way to see Susie. This comes with the road-raging pickups that suddenly pass the slow-moving but undoubtedly relaxed Oregonians behind the wheel. If one likes one’s paint to stay on your mode of transport, discipline and watchfulness are required. Mariah makes it minutes before kick-off.

My observation of the teams was that they both contained a select set of highly talented and robust players (it being American Football, you need to be both). When these folks could work together, the team did extraordinary things. But, failures were also notable, with sacks of the quarterback being constant, meaning the ball gets kicked away over and over in the game.

Mariah left after the game with me, with me insisting that she take a pizza-sized bag of leftover pizza. Corwin had woke, had some pizza, and went. Next, I watched the last episodes of The Legends of Vox Machina, a new fav. Unfortunately, I now have to wait for the weekly new episode. It surprised me how dark the animated series had become and that I am used to hearing F**K now. I still like it but recommend it only as a guilty pleasure.

Deciding to read for a while, I found my Kindle lost in the bedding and started on my book Bright Ages. While reading, I managed to tie my muscles into a knot. The pain was incredible. I managed to stand and walk it off. I had already triggered a shock result, and soon I was shaking and freezing. I got into bed and let the warmth slow the shock. This had not happened for about six months. I quickly go into shock from severe pain. In ten minutes, I am back to normal.

Later, about 4:30 Monday morning, my left arm hurt, and I got up and took my usual pain killers, which stopped the discomfiture. The last doses of chemo seemed to have lighted-up some lymph nodes in my upper left arm–it is working. However, I need to manage some pain to avoid shock and sleep through the night.

Going backward, the night ended after 10:30 with me quickly falling asleep. I had been moving more than I had for a month, so I was tired, but there were no rips, leaks, or failures. No chemotherapy drugs again as I am in the seven-day recovery period.

I have a recommendation for the animated series from Cory: The Legend of Vox Machina. I finished the first, gasp, twenty-two, episodes of the first season of the Clone Wars and decided I was not ready for a new season. So I found this animation a Dungeons and Dragons campaign. Apparently, $11 million was raised in Kickstarter, and the series is now appearing on Amazon Prime. I thought it quite good and also almost R-rated. You can see some of the Dungeons and Dragons mechanics even. I would recommend it if you can stand the word F**K being said as a descriptor and you like fantasy.

I also managed to start following my sister’s direction on buying a craft ball instead of making one. I began work to see how this would work on the balloon model. I am first trying to make the airbag look like its skins sewn together. I also have some scale rope to see the colors and look. So far, it is working out.

Dinner was Indian Food delivered by Rekha and Shyam from work. It was a lovely Indian chicken meal. Thanks!

Before dinner, I managed to get out while the mask and socially distancing were still in place for the next few weeks. Once the mask mandate drops, as I am facing a reduced immune system, I will be hiding out here at the Volvo Cave.

My last stop was the hobby store, where I managed to find some miniature wood items for building wooden ships. I also bought the rigging (rope) and other things I might use. This is all for the balloon model.

Everyone was masked at Tammie’s this time, and careful adherence to socially distancing seems now to be followed. Better. I talked to their Train guy, he has the best toys, and I found a miniature neon sign of Portland’s reworked white stag sign. I had to have it. It is done by Light Works USA that makes the best miniature lights. Again, the train folks have all the best stuff, and if you need to figure out lighting, painting, terrain issue for making a model, ask a train guy.

I found my fav mag there too.

Before this, I wanted to get out and move a bit off to a nursery. So I went to the Cornell Farms on the edge of Beaverton-Portland in the high hills above Beaverton. I walked all over their plantings and offerings. I managed to not buy anything other than a coffee mocha and a scone. All too much sugar for me usually, but I have found that without the bleeding issue, my sugar levels are working better. And it was wonderful.

I found a chair under the colossal Monkey Puzzle tree and enjoyed my products there. Yes, we can grow this insane tree here. It is hard to get started, but once you get it above ten feet tall, lookout as it takes over.

Before this, I stopped at the house for a bit; the ADT guy, David, showed and went over the requirements to secure my home. I want four cameras and various other neat stuff. All of which cannot be done without power in those locations. It also must use, to my surprise, internal wall plug power–no direct connect. So I will need to have some electrical rework done. It is good, I guess, that I invested in replacing the power panel (the previous one had a safety recall!) a few years ago. I am resisting upgrading the service to the house, but if I switch to charging a car, I might need that extra amps for the super-fast chargers. Returning to the security system, my plans to spend the whole afternoon getting the security system are on hold until I make the changes. Also, the area near the windows needs to be cleared of stuff for the work to continue. I will reschedule the installation once I have made the corrections. Of course, all the cameras were not included in the original price, and it will cost a few grand to get the coverage I want. Thus, I ended up with a free afternoon.

In the morning, I managed to reach Susie about 10ish. She was happy to see me in the morning. Unfortunately, I was on a busy schedule and could stay only an hour. We called Leta, her mother, on FaceTime. They had a nice chat. We then played with some coasters from a fav bar. Susie could slide them a bit, but neither of us could manage to flip them into the air and catch them like the bartender does.

The morning was up at 8:20ish and rushing. I felt better. I still use the Utterly Smooth skin cream as it reportedly prevents some feeling of loss in fingers and toes. It has been so successful that the pharmacy for my chemotherapy emailed me the picture of the product. It contains urea (cow pee).

I managed to sleep the night with my usual late night of 2AM when the burn from the chemo drugs finally stopped, and I could sleep. It is like suddenly drinking a double espresso, but you are still tired. It starts about two hours from taking the drug and “burns” for a while. I am used to it, but it makes for nights waking full awake like a strange retroactive case of jet lag from my trips to India years ago (I used to wake there for a week at 2ish and have to read for hours).

Thursday morning, I took my meds, including my chemotherapy, and was happy to see only four pills left, one dose of chemo. Breakfast was with tea as Corwin had forgotten the coffee and yogurt. I made a pot of fantastic Pu-Erh Tuo Cha #1 for sharing with Corwin.

Aside: I purchased my tea from The Upton Tea Company. I annoyed my fellow Information Technology (IT) folks by pointing out that the tea company had a better working website than the shoe company. This was ten years ago. Also, when you ordered tea, I pointed out that it actually was delivered and was what you ordered. And you could customize the labels on the tea tins, and they even sold collections. So as you can imagine, sending out the URL of the tea company to my friends working on the consumer-facing software ensures my continued career in the accounting and fulfillment side. So please enjoy The Upton Tea Company. Also, Nike recently finally fixed its websites and fulfillment, well, mainly (I will let you find that stuff in the press).

I managed to finally get going. I had leftovers for lunch and then headed out an hour late to see Susie. The transferring through Hillsboro and Corneilus to Forest Grove Rehab and Care Center at 3900 Pacific Highway, Room 44A, was without events.

Susie was out of bed and watching TV. The daily Olympics had just ended. She was slightly cross that I was late. But, she could not hide that she was thrilled to see me.

Susie saying ‘Hi,’ the photographer is incompetent, something that the Apple technology can’t fix yet. I am expecting in the future, like “word correct,” you will find you took a different subject than you thought, but the shot is perfect.

Susie and I toured the facility in about three lapses. We passed a group of five folks who apparently reside at the care center and play board games. I had forgotten about the old “Aggravation” board game. They were having a great time.

Susie was seemed to find her calm today. She was still a bit lost, but there was some light in her eyes, and she smiled a few times. She even laughed at one of my stupid jokes. We managed to chat with Leta, Susie’s mother, by FaceTime and then a short call with Barb, Susie’s sister, and this helped Susie find her center a bit.

Susie’s roommate, Terry, was happy to see Susie’s 1980 skating video that I played in their room. But, of course, Susie is always thrilled to see it again and have others see her skating program back then.

Susie’s health is coming back, and her ability to speak and swallow is better. This should not happen if these are the results of the stroke. Passing on a miracle–it would not be Susie’s first, it does appear that the mouth infection may be to blame for Susie’s worsening condition last month that had her moved to hospice. Now, it is possible to graduate from hospice and transfer to home care. And that is even partially covered by insurance. So if Susie continues to recover, I will move Susie back home in May and begin homecare. The delay is predicated on my chemotherapy and my ability to handle Susie’s care at the house. I would need to do some of the care.

I stayed with Susie for a few hours, and when it was getting late, 4ish, I left her. I kissed her with the mask still on. I put on gloves and keep the mask on. I am awash in chemo and need to prevent others from getting exposed.

Next, dinner at the Grand Lodge with Mariah. I order my first beer since starting cycle 1. I have just lost my extreme cold sensitivity to drinking. Just one Ruby Ale. Good.

Mariah and I have some food and dessert. Nobody had signed up to provide dinner tonight, and it was nice to just step out. The Grand Lodge is cautious and clean. The customers also are masked and careful. Unfortunately, this will likely be my last time there, as I cannot face (unexpected pun) the unmasked world the governor has unleashed on us.

Aside: The facility where Susie is staying is battling Covid. They have more than 25 employees with a positive test, and the last count, six, was still out. One client at home is down with Covid, one is no longer testing positive. So even seeing Susie is now a risk for me.

Jack Cone delivers us his home-roasted and ground coffee. It is just great! Thanks, Jack!

I head home, and soon the clock is at 10PM, and I end Cycle 1 with one more dose. I am up and down until about 2:20AM and finally sleep. I awake at 5 and 6 as something strange is happening outside. I feel like a vampire exposed to the sun; Oregon somehow is not gray and clouded-over today, and the morning is bright. Again, my response is more covers and simulated vampire burning.

Again, dear reader, thanks for following along. Three more cycles to go. I get seven days to get well enough to go again.

I am feeling better this morning. I am taking my last pills for Cycle 1 today; it seems strange to reach this first marker.

Susie did not panic last night, and I did not have to go in to help.

The morning of Wednesday started at about 8:30ish. That morning I counted the chemo pills as I could not believe that I was at the end, and the count was perfect. I took all the medications with discipline, and all are accounted for. 16 pills for two days, perfect.

I use the end of the coffee. After that, Cowin will do some grocery shopping for me.

I call the Forest Grove Rehab and Care Center at 3900 Pacific Highway to check on Susie (Room 44A). She has a new nurse, Eric, who says he is new to the ward, but he has seen no issues. I get a call that Susie is worried that I am in the hospital. I let the folks know I am OK and not in the hospital, and, more importantly, I will be there at about 1PM.

I drive Corwin to work and agree that he should do some grocery shopping after work. I just throw on clothes to do this.

I finish Eric Enders soup for lunch, taco soup.

I dress and then take Air Volvo to Forest Grove. Again, pickups are changing lanes in the most unusual and likely lawless ways. Nevertheless, I manage to avoid any unfortunate contact with them.

Susie was up and watching the Olympics. I could see the worry on her face, and she looked upset. So I just sat with her and held her hand after getting some gloves on (chemo can leach from your hands, so gloves are required). Susie would be relaxed for a few minutes and then learn forward in her wheelchair and start looking around. “Please take me home,” were the heartbreaking words she said to me.

I got Susie to agree that we would have to be brave and stay until I was better. So we watched some more Olympics and then called her mother, Leta, on FaceTime. Leta and Susie had a friendly chat with Leta, trying to help Susie find a calm place.

The Rev. Anne Weld-Martin came, and we moved to Susie’s room. There Anne gave communion for Susie, and the familiar words seemed to soothe Susie. Also, Susie was anointed with oil in a healing ritual by Rev. Anne. Susie seemed to find her center again and was calming reciting the Lord’s Prayer with us.

Susie decided she was tired, she had no sleep for two days, and the staff at the care center helped Susie get into bed. Anne and I left after Susie seemed back to herself. I got no more panicked calls and was able to sleep through the night.

I drove back and picked up Corwin at Fred Myers. He had done the grocery shopping, and we had a few small items for breakfast now. But, no coffee.

Note: I subscribed to coffee delivery from Amazon for a while.

I rested a bit and then watched more Clone Wars on Disney+.

I have to get back to my book, Bright Ages. My reading list is getting long again. Jack Cone has recommended some, and Deborah Hills found the impossible-to-find copy of Maus and sent me one.

Michelle Vondenkamp and the SEC leadership supplied dinner. I picked wings and cornbread from a locally black-owned biz in Beaverton, Riptz City Eats.

I started back on my model and determined that cardboard cutting should be avoided, so I stopped the process after cutting some more. I am not getting what I want, and I am risking too much to build a sphere when a craft one is $9. This, of course, was pointed out by sister Linda Wild.

I took the chemo at 10 and went to bed early. I then got up and putter around a bit before returning to the bed not too early.

Despite being wired, I fell asleep and dreamed I was back at the shoe company working with the directors to run our software. It was not going so well in my dreams when I woke up on Thursday morning.