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I woke early and rolled back over. The alarm at 8 went off, and I delayed until before 8:30 but finally climbed out of bed. I had trouble sleeping. I had a two-hour chat with an Internet personality who called me when hearing about Susie, and it was pleasant and distracting. It was hard to sleep after that, and I had made some tea, and that did not help me find rest. I finally was asleep before 2AM, and thus, 8AM seemed early.

In the morning, while I was making coffee, liberal coffee, of course, and found my last banana, I was called by Threadgill, the funeral folks, and they had Susie’s ashes and death certificates. I called them back, and after being rerouted to the office (one of the folks was on her way to burial, so they asked me to call the office), I scheduled an appointment to see them at 1PM. This brought the grief for Susie’s death back, crashing into waves and tides of emotion. I cried about every hour today, maybe more often.

First, I dressed, entered Air Volvo, and traveled to the Portland OHSU cancer clinic at Good Samaritan. The extra-legal driving and fascinating lane changes were a bit amusing. Drive the wrong way on a One Way is usually a disaster, but we Oregonians just smile our passive-aggressive emotion and ignore it. The confused driver turned off before anyone got hurt. Nothing to see here! I arrived safely and with some extra time.

While I waited, I finally made up my mind, and I ordered a new Mac, an Air Mac, all in black, as the one I am using now is having issues, and I am afraid I might lose it. The new Mac ain’t cheap, but I think it will be suitable for a while. Once I complete a transfer, and after a few months to burn in the new one, I will have the older Macbook repaired and erased. I usually find a good home for my used laptops; it was the cutting (bleeding) edge in April 2020.

I have a new Doc; he is very young and did a great job, and I have no cancer detected. I have one wanky blood test result–possible kidney issues–but we will see. I am a bit stressed and was surprised that so many labs were normal. My blood pressure was high again; it had been fine for months–again, stressed out, I think.

Overall, excellent results, no cancer, and a new scan in four months. I headed out and took Air Volvo out of the parking garage using the free pass they give you when you leave–it is essential not to forget that. It is $5 an hour otherwise. I soon reached Beaverton and found Swaggart Indian Food. I had a lovely lunch there–I ordered the chicken lunch tray.

Off to Threadgill’s now. They soon had the paperwork and a plastic container (Susie’s ashes) in a nice bag ready for me. We talked for a while, and Ron likes, from my previous visit, to talk to his customers and make lots of suggestions. So we talked for about twenty minutes. I was impressed by the speed, order, and professionalism while seeming like a hardware merchant or a candy store cleric from another time. Threadgill also gave me the six certificates I paid for (three short and three long). I would recommend Threadgill.

I stopped by Salt and Straw and had an ice cream, which I ate while Air Volvo took me home to the Volvo Cave. The scoop was full of nearly whole peanut butter cups, reducing the amount of ice cream–I would not order that again. Still, it was ice cream, and there was no bad ice cream, and like Ron suggested, I had ice cream with my wife. Tears came often, but I felt a bit better.

Reaching home, I found the mail had arrived. I put Susie’s Ashes on the curio cabinet beside Ben’s flag (Susie’s dad has been gone for a while). Next, I called the insurance to see if a picture of Susie’s death certificate would do (otherwise, it is snail-mail). I sent a picture to Segdwick for my leave request, which will likely be approved after I finish it–growl. I am waiting for Susie’s IRA paperwork to appear in the mail–they need an actual death certificate.

I shaved and then changed into my black suit with a vest and a pocket watch with a chain. I wore the homberg hat and black leather shoes to finish the look. I drove to the cemetery slightly early–I wanted to get the shock over. I cried a lot in the first fifteen minutes seeing pictures of Cory Johnson, often smiling and meeting with his family and friends we shared. It is hard as they try to comfort me, too. There are so many emotions with losing both Cory and Susie in the same week. It was standing room only, with the middle school football team standing along the sides like an honor guard.

While I cried often in the service, it was not long but loving, and there was a reception. We gamers stayed together and chatted. Jennifer, Cory’s wife, visited and gave us all hugs. Everyone liked that I was all dressed up like a 1920s person–Jennifer said Cory would have loved it.

After an hour, we all migrated out and said our goodbyes. I was not as sad as I was, and the tears for Cory are more thanks and missing than grief–Our Dungeons and Dragons Paladin goes ahead of us. He was one of the good guys and will be missed.

Air Volvo got me back to the Volvo  Cave in light traffic, and I soon got some frozen Italian-style meatballs in the oven, heated water for pasta, dumped a jar of premade sauce and heated it in a pan, and soon assembled dinner. I watch an old Fourth Doctor Classic Doctor Who on my Apple while cooking and eating–comforting. I was dragging, and I wanted to rest a bit. I also had enough of talking to people for a while–it was an emotional day. The dinner at home alone was good.

Finally, I sat down and wrote this blog and will watch another episode of Sandman–I liked it even as a repeat.

Thanks for reading!

Today, I started at 7AM, rolled over, and started twenty minutes later. It is Sunday, and I want to return to First United Methodist Church, Beaverton. Mine and Susie’s church since we moved to Oregon in 1996. I would need to practice thanking folks for their concern and saying the words we always have to say, “Thank you.” And while it sounds like I am not thankful, which is not the case, it is an arduous and dreaded task. But, the voyage I am on without Susie cannot be avoided and must be experienced. So I start the day dragging and getting coffee made, liberal made with Equal Exchange brand ground coffee and a banana. I then write the blog.

Describing Saturday, it takes most of the early morning to write. The sun rises, and I see it is another grey day, but the mist is gone today. I had decided to wear my new grey suit, pocket watch, homberg hat, and black shoes. Soon, a quick shower and the usual things are completed. I remember to take my meds. Being from the East, I find wearing a suit a comfort and feel better with my armor on. Everyone will see the grief, and I prefer the suit to a sloppy T-shirt to show I am together. I put on my best for my first outing.

Church is unchanged, with many friends happy to see me return today and everyone surprised–I had not warned them beforehand–and the same service I remember. I walked in with a visitor, and I was unprepared to handle that, so I found another to greet him. I would make a hash of it, and with everyone reacting to me, he would be lost in the shuffle–so I got him away from me.

The music was good, and I enjoyed another sermon from Pastor Ken. Ken was doing the hardest bible verse, Acts 5:1-11 where Sapphira and Ananias die for lying to Peter. A harsh moment in Acts. Pastor Ken said this was about God holding us to our promises and his plan. He parallels today and how we must not forget ourselves and do wrong things. The horrific actions in the Middle East are an example of this. Ken said he is rethinking if he is doing everything he promised and suggests we all reconsider and reframe our perceptions, asking if we are doing what we promised.

After that, I talked to folks for a while and then headed to Elephants Delicatessen in Beaverton, recently opening in the place that used to be the German place. I had a BLT and a soda. It was great. Next, I did Powell’s Books in Beaverton and bought a few mysteries on special.

I felt unwell and tired. Not depressed, but terrible. Air Volvo took me home, and I carefully removed my suit, put it back on a hanger, and then crawled into bed. I had a tumult of dreams, and sleep came and went. I was exhausted–grief is exhausting, a new learning. I finally rose after 5PM. I called Leta back in North Carolina. It is Susie’s Uncle Gene’s 90th birthday party today, and she told me all about it. It is the first party Susie and I have missed in years, and nearly everyone in Susie’s family is there. Leta said to me that all the kids are grown. It was good to connect.

I finished Charlotte J’s meatloaf dinner, heating it in the microwave. I watched some more of the first season of Sandman. I like it and wanted to re-watch the first season. I spent part of the evening watching three episodes.

Aside: Cory Johnson would always ask me what I was watching when we met at his house to play Dungeons and Dragons. Cory passed away just a few days before Susie. I will attend his service this Monday. Not only do I miss Susie, but I also often think Cory would do this gaming thing and then remember he is not with us. I will miss you, our paladin. You can learn about Cory here.

I started then on the blog.

Thanks for reading.

 

 

 

Saturday was a cool, damp day with just Oregon Mist all day. When Air Volvo was parked on a street in Portland, the mist coated it with drops, but the ground near the vehicle was dry. It might have climbed over sixty, but it never felt warm. I wore my coat. The ten-day forecast has a few sunny days, but as usual for this time of year, the sunny days are fewer and fewer. Soon, there will be none. With Susie’s passing and the darkness, I will be watchful for light-starved depression–it is a thing here. The sun will not be back, except for a few exceptional days, until July (or May, like the past super-warm three years).

I was up at 7AM with my alarm and vivid but forgotten dreams. I then rose with some vigor and made coffee, liberal and in the Frech Press, a banana, and a few store-bought madeleines that the ants have missed. I sprayed the vents in the bathroom and the office with Raid to slow the ants. Ugh! I spent the morning writing a longish blog, including describing my battles with the malaise that is grief. As I have the time, I try to more fully capture my feelings as I know it helps to share them, and others may be helped in their own fight against depression and mental pain. Your mind is injured by events just like your body and brain are injured by a fall or a car crash.

I finished the blog, and then, feeling better and the colors coming back into the world, I popped into the shower, followed by dressing, and headed outside. Air Volvo is still outside, but I hope to soon change the garage from a reserve storage area to a car park. I boarded Air Volvo and headed to the hummingbird house. But first, I stopped at Shell for $4.79 (remember, no sales tax here) and let the folks there pump my gas (while we have made it legal to pump your own gas, it is not at a discount, and they were not busy). Next, I stopped by Target and bought some flowers to bring to Anassa, the weekend nursing aide, and flowers for Vida, a spouse of another resident who inspired me, and we always shared thoughts on care and process. I was still too early, so I headed to Srider’s India Imports–a strip mall place I have driven by for a year and wondered about.

The store was tiny and had no produce, and I saw it had a small room for clothing–nothing I wanted but the spices and ginger-garlic paste were there. I collected the bags of spices I knew I would need and found smaller bagged amounts that were perfect for me. The store owner, calling herself Davis (a shortening of her name), was happy to have a customer and sell me a few bags of stuff. She is an older woman, proud in her store, and authoritative without being intimidating. Her English is perfectly accented; her Indian-American words highlight her smile and show her years as a store owner in the Pacific Northwest. She shared with me that she retired from another store, also hers, and then had nothing to do with herself–she opened this little store to have something to do and to connect with people like me. I recommend a visit to her store for some spices and a chat. She reminds me of so many store owners in India; it’s a treat to shop with her.

After loading my spoils in Air Volvo, which grew fragrant with spices, I headed to the hummingbird house. I arrived and soon was chatting with Anassa, who loved the flowers; I just hung out with Anassa until Vida, who visits her spouse most days, came just after noon. She was happy to see me.

Vida is my hero. She has cared for her loved one for five years and many in facilities. She sold everything in California to come to Oregon, where their children could help. We talked about many things and gave each other encouragement. I saw my future in Vida and planned an indefinite stay for Susie mentally and financially. Vida and I shared a few tears, a hug and exchanged flowers for a kindly written message in a card.

I would usually stay at the hummingbird house for hours to visit Susie, watch a movie or show, and see the park. Sometimes, a trip to the mall was a chance for a bit of shopping and for Susie to pick out flowers to bring back. But she was not there, and I was soon on my way to Portland to meet Evan at Rogue Ales.

There was no traffic to slow me, and soon, I was parked in SE Portland on the street. I carried two board games into the brewery: Istanbul and Arnak. I opened a tab and saw that Ruben was on special. It was too big for me to finish! Evan showed up when I gave up on the last bits of the sandwich–bring lunch and dinner. Evan decided on the board game Istanbul.

I have the Big-box version that contains all the add-ons, but we played the base version in the first game. Evan soon remembered how to play and did well; he was one ruby (the game is about managing resources and position to get five rubies–for two players–purchased with various resources) when I won the game by getting my fifth gem–the gems are little pretty rough red plastic bits. We reset and added in the Mocha & Baksheesh expansion, which makes the game a bit slower and provides coffee as an additional resource and four more locations. The game changes from good to excellent with the expansion. Planning and a winning player must do things that help you gain gems in multiple ways. I won by two gems in a fast-learning game. With more beer and some food, we decided to play again. This time, Evan pushed me pretty hard–he used coffee and some resources to use Baksheesh to generate a gem about every fourth play. Still, this highly caffeinated plan was not as fast as collecting various resources and using the resources to gain gems from the Mosque locations and the Sultan’s Palace, and selling resources at the markets to make cash to buy a gem (look, I wrote a Lovecraft-like sentence–long). But it was close, and Evan managed a fifth gem on his last move (the round is completed when someone gets the last gem), forcing an opening of the rules. My pile of remaining coins gave me the win as a tiebreaker. Evan was disappointed as he thought he had me–but it was an excellent game played well.

We still had time, and I put away the games and brought out the Game of Kings: Chess. Evan was white this time and opened with a standard pawn in front of the queen. I built a line of pawns as black and developed my pieces. Evan exchanged a bishop for a knight newly developed knight on the edge and castled too early, in my opinion. I noticed he was attacking between the rook and bishop and decided my king looked safe in the middle. While it would make Lasker cry for my mistakes, my pawn structure was enough to hold my center, and my bishops, dragon style, were pointed from the center at white’s king. After checks and some exchanges, Evan, still having his queen, took the bait (that rook looked deliciously unprotected) and checkmate. Evan should have exchanged the queens and used the holes he spent so much time creating in my pawns to get it back. But still, I had to be careful as Evan was ready to pounce on any mistake.

I paid the bill, said goodbye to Evan, and headed to Richard’s. We played a game I did not know, Voidfall, a new Kickstarter super premium game, $340 on Amazon, mixing space empire 4x play, and resource management. A scenario book allows setting up play for competitive, cooperative, easy to hard, and various player counts. The pieces were the best I have seen, and this game sets a new insane level of quality expectations now. There were a vast amount of rules to learn and complexity along the Lisboa or Weather Maker level, but it flowed well. There are more than ten different races and other complexities in a setup that took Richard about thirty minutes.

I enjoyed the game, losing to Richard, who understood the scoring better (of course), by more than 100 points. The empire-building and combat to remove the corruption forces was without dice (perfect!). I look forward to playing it again and with more than two players. We played without interaction in this scenario, but I imagine a battle-centric scenario could be a kick to play.

After that, I left after talking about figure painting for a while with Richard. He is having some issues with his figures, and when I was home, I sent Richard pictures of a few products I use to dilute paint and paint-on primer. After that, I had an uneventful trip on Air Volvo. I was tired and nudged a few curbs, but the stupidly high on-ramp and bridge on the way home had me fully alert. There’s nothing like wet cement five stories in the air to wake you up–better than coffee! I soon was home, looking at the mail, and climbed into bed after putting around midnight. My tax bill was up about $100, and my house, according to the tax people, lost $20K in value (Oregon limits the speed at which they can increase your tax bill, and I am still being slowly adjusted). I received a thunder sound device for models to match Evan’s lightning light system. Excellent.

I took my meds and finally slept after 12:30.

While playing the games, the depression and sadness abate, but after the game, it crashes back. That is hard, making me not want to play or do anything. I resist. My allergies are exploding, and I use my inhaler often; this also makes me slow. I tire easily, but I can push through it.

Thanks for reading.

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Today, the colors seemed to fade in the world, and I discovered I had trouble enjoying being part of the present. While the beer tasted good, and the food was excellent, I found myself not caring and unable to enjoy most things (I felt unsettled). I know this is grief and depression from losing Susie, which is terrible. It is not unexpected.

The hospice service, Serenity Hospice, sent me a brochure on grief, and on it is a list of the physical effects; got ’em. I will start to follow their instructions for coping. Going back to my way of thinking of the pain, I never got off the docks before another journey began. It is a slower river of emotion and events, but a trip that must be made and completed. I have to find my way. Again, this is not an adventure I would willingly accept, but one I must pass through. It did come with a brochure, at least.

Starting the narrative, I started my day by sleeping into 8ish, which surprised me, and today, Friday, was my first day alone. I made liberal coffee and had a banana for breakfast. I planned to organize the house more and sort Susie’s clothing. Retaining some of Susie’s cool shirts and t-shirts to be made into a quilt or pillows. But this would be painful, and I decided to put this off. Instead, I picked a more mundane topic: paperwork. I spent hours taking all the bills and getting them into my binders for September and October. I also went into Quicken and reviewed and corrected the transactions–some obviously wrong. While not an exciting task, I was focused and smiled when I found receipts for things I bought Susie or when we were in the mall. It is good to finish something.

Aside: The brochure from Serenity Hospice mentions making a memory book about the departed. I see how that might helps when just handling the receipts.

I received an email from Sedgwick on my three-day bereavement leave. More paperwork from them, definitely an eye-roll moment when it was the same forms I signed last week but a different ticket. I printed the forms, signed them, photographed the signed documents, logged back on to work, connected to the ticket online, and uploaded the photos. More focus.

I had lunch from the seemingly never-ending meatloaf that Charlotte J brought a few days ago. I ate this while watching another Sit Down and Shut Up game review video via YouTube. This time, it was a game I had seen other reviews for, a reworking of poorly produced older games. It is not my style, but maybe Richard will purchase one; he loves to buy everything new and well-rated, and then I can try it.

I headed into the garage, got a folding chair and table, and opened my electronic-filled tool chest. I buy two or more of anything I think I could use. Sparkfun and AdaFruit boards are everywhere, and I will never use most of this stuff. I grab a smaller container; I have spares smaller ones in the garage from when we did the carpets seven or so years ago, and everything had to move to the garage. I fill it with older Raspberry Pis, Arduinos of various strange formats, robot controllers, and lots of little boards I will not use. I also add connectors (that game comes in sets of twenty on Amazon, and I have never needed more than a few) and blank boards that have accumulated. I was surprised to fill the box and a cigar box, including a tiny penny-sized Arduino with add-on boards.

I carefully load this little electronic gift box into Air Volvo’s cargo hold. Air Volvo then traveled to Gizmo’s, an electronic junk and surplus store. They are happy to accept this; the staff looking through the container were excited to see the Arduino boards, Raspberry Pis, and even a game controller break-out board. I did not take inventory and cannot write this off, but it is likely hundreds of dollars worth of stuff, but I am happy it will be used. It’s better than sitting in my drawers. I will try not to refill the drawers!

On returning, I trashed all the spray paint cans, which are years old, for figure painting. I no longer use the Army Painter approach to figure painting, and the paint was aging. I also wanted the tool chest for electronics not to hold paint cans. I then cleaned the drawers as some of the cans had leaked. I needed to clean the dust from the drawers and could not just wipe it out.

I found the hand vacuum; Susie used it for small messes and to remove the lint from the dryer. She always insisted on having a hand vacuum near her. It was not working, and I cleaned it–it was full of stuff. I was sad; apparently, Susie could not clean it; it required too much strength, and she never mentioned that it was not working. So, I emptied it and cleared the filters. It was like new. I am finding little things like this where Susie could not remember something or would not tell me she needed something. My wife was proud and brave and maybe a little stubborn.

I started to move electronic items into the recently cleared tool chest. Every trip to the garage gets an item in the tool chest. I was tired, so I read and started to fall asleep. I was not ready to sleep the afternoon away. I tried to find something to do. King Arthur Flour’s website finally fixed its issue with carts (the website allowed you to fill your cart, but check-out failed, leaving you on an empty and useless screen–not a good feature if you want to sell products), so my baking products are on their way. I should have some time to bake and wanted to make no-kneading bread instead of buying bread. I also got a call from Zerida; she was worried about me, and I promised soon to visit her in Texas. Violet Blue, who I only know through text and a Kickstarter, sent me her number, and we will talk on Sunday. Others have sent me supportive emails, which helps, and while I hate to admit that I am a bit needy, please keep sending them.

Among the many hobbies I have is nearly an addiction to Tolkien and Lord of the Rings (LOTR), and the LOTR Role Playing Game (RPG) for Dungeons and Dragons 5E (5E) is irresistible to me. This is a reworking of better-looking books by Cubical 7 (I think I have them all), but I still buy everything as it comes out. Two (yes, two!) new books from Free League were delivered. They send out the PDF before you get the books, so you have something to use (and it is searchable) even before the physical books come. And while I miss the glossy color LOTR art (breathtaking!) from Cubical 7 and scoff at the black and white of Free League, the books are slightly cheaper and coming out faster than anything Cubical 7 did.

Matt V (another gamer) and I are often frustrated by RPG rules. The systems of rules are often presented in colorful and expensive books, but there is nothing to play with. We prefer excellent adventures and cool things to play rather than perfect rules. And often, unless the RPG gets lots of play, the issues in the rules are not fixed and thus are far from perfect (if you buy a new 5E book, it includes the fixes). I am happy that the last three books and the gaming screen from Free League have adventures. The latest books are mostly adventure, perfect. I think I will need to form a LORT 5E group to play hobbits (one book is primarily The Shire and comes with an adventure path that includes playing Bilbo Baggins). Yes, you have The Ring and might need to use it–it is costly to use.

I spent the rest of the afternoon reading about LOTR 5E and the Tolkien lands of Eriador. While not all canon, I enjoy reading this extension of the years between The Hobbit and LOTR books, the setting time for LOTR 5E.

I see that I am writing too much. Sorry, but I love this stuff.

Returning to my narrative, Evan and I met at The 649–a taphouse with food and a full bar. Evan was late, so I got a beer and set up the board game Lost Ruins of Arnak. I had just reached the newest add-on and wanted to play the slightly revised game. I set up the game with the more challenging board side, as Evan and I are both good at this game. I got a sandwich, BBQ beef pressed-style. I got chips, too, with the guacamole dip. I played the new mechanic leader, and Evan took the Captain (from the previous add-on). I could get my cards to flow with the machine and my monkey helper (really fun), but I could not overcome Evan’s clean play and the Captain’s extra meeple ability. Evan won by more than ten points. Still, with a little more careful play and more players (many games swing a bit to one-sidedness with just two players), I think the mechanic is an excellent leader.

Amanda was watching us and told us she always wanted to play the game at a table in The 649. She owned an unplayed copy. So we reset back to the base game, and Amanda, whom we just met, took a seat, and we got to play again with three players. I did the teach, as Amanda did not know how to play–but soon I saw she was a skilled gamer–and she grabbed the lead! I focused less on playing and helping Amanda play well, as happens when you teach. Which is my excuse for my score of 48. Evan was 51, and Amanda won with 54.

I got a beer as I put away the game. Trying not to mix up the add-ons, it took about thirty minutes. Amanda is a production assistant in movies and TV, and she and Evan discovered that they had met before professionally (they learned this as they chatted) and shared their experiences in film and TV filming in the area. From what I heard while packing the games, Amanda did Grim, our beloved TV series set in the local area.

We said our goodbyes and shared our numbers. Amanda was on a mommy break at The 649; she has two younger kids and a software engineer for a husband. More games to follow.

I was now sleepy and arrived safe in Air Volvo at the Volvo Cave and soon was in bedding, nodding off while my mind wondered more LOTR, 5E style.

Thanks for reading.

Today was another rest-of-my-life day as my sister left today. She came out when she heard that Susie’s condition was grave, and I spoke to Linda just after Susie died in her sleep on Friday early evening. Linda was just on the flight when I called. Linda arrived late on Friday/Saturday and stayed through the arrangement meetings and us moving out of the hummingbird house. Jesse, Linda’s husband, had his first birthday after their wedding last month without Linda–they did it remotely. I appreciate her coming and helping me process what has happened.

Today, I woke up at 6ish and made coffee while Linda cleaned up and prepared to leave. I watched the news reports and made NYC bagels, my last ones in the freezer, for breakfast. Linda left around 7AM, while the traffic reports were good. Linda texted that she had a beautiful drive back to PDX. Linda made her flight without issues–a 100% full plane, as usual from PDX.

Next, I wrote the blog. That took the early morning. I showered, dressed, and got ready to start some housework. I began to clean up my workspace in the office. Electronics is messy, and it took me hours to clear the mess. I want to start on model building and figure painting in my office. I will clean up my workspace in the garage for electronic work–leave the messy stuff in there. I mostly moved the mess to another table. On Friday, I will re-organize the electronics to be in the garage and the models and figures to be in the office. I have a lot of out-of-date electronic parts that need to be sent on their way. I also plan to remove the paints from one of the tool chests and instead use it for electronic components–doubling my storage for electronics. This has been my plan for months, but today, I have a few days off to execute it.

Aside: I try not to buy a single component but have the whole set. It is insanely expensive to buy individual parts when the whole set is now on Amazon or other suppliers for only a few bucks (often with free shipping). This means more storage. But it is really run when I just get all the parts from my existing supply–so cool to be your own Radio Shack!

I complete most of the start of moving things and have the leftover food from Charlotte J for lunch. Matt V is coming over at 1PM. Matt V loves to organize things and to find a great way of setting up things. He even likes to vacuum while doing it. Matt reset the office with just a few consultations into a better plan.

Matt V is on time and does his thing, and soon, the office looks better. Matt V and I then moved the furniture that had been in the garage to the office. We use a dolly, which Matt V has not done before, and we easily move the too-heavy-to-lift cabinets to the bedroom. All those years working for Dad at Wild’s Furniture and Appliance and delivering laundry into farmhouse basements paid off. I can move huge, heavy things with a dolly, even when I was twelve. We just slide over the short step into the house from the garage. Matt V is happy with it. It’s only 3ish, and we are done, wow! I collected three dead computers, two were Susie’s, and some items from Susie’s room. I take the computers to recycling, paying $60 to erase and recycle all three. I dropped the bookcase that Barb got Susie and some mugs that once came with flowers at Goodwill.

Matt V was ready for more projects. I had cleaned out the part of the garage while Matt V worked in the office but had no other plans. I was happy with what we got done. Matt V had a great time.

I changed into less dusty clothing and started on the laundry. I took a short nap. I still get tired, but today was a workout, so I needed a break.

I finally decided to head to BJ’s Brewhouse for dinner. I had avoided it until now, but there I had Mo as my waiter, and Eric was nearby in the test of the bar. I broke the news; they had both been Susie’s waiter, of Susie’s passing. They were saddened by the news, of course. I managed, this time, to tell the story without tears.

BJ’s was Susie’s first big outing after moving to hummingbird house, and Eric was our waiter then. Susie had her stand-by, a Southern Comfort Manhattan, on the rocks, two cherries–she just tasted it. They keep a bottle of Southern Comfort in the bar for Susie. Still, I remember she was delighted to make a go of it.

I had a pork chop, baked potato, and salad, my usual. I had one Jeremiah Red, their red ale. I finished with coffee.

I wrote the blog while eating and watching the NFL with the New Orleans Saints trying to find their way. I am always a Saints fan when they play–I remember the hurricane and always cheer them (they need the help usually).

I have received cards and words saying that folks enjoy the blog. Thanks, dear readers, and I do plan to continue writing. Every day.

Thanks for reading and for the kind cards and calls.

An Update: Mo gave me a Courtesy Card for $25 for next time in remembrance of Susie’s many dinners and drinks here.