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Sleep was hard, and getting started at 8:30 was hard. I made coffee and then decided it was time to bake. So I creamed sugar and butter and followed all the slightly bizarre steps to make Irish Black Ginger Cake. I wanted something not sweet, and the ginger helps with nausea. I was out of practice, and soon I struggled to get the heavy batter into the 8″ round baking pans. My arms and hands were tired, and I had trouble holding a few pounds in the air for a while. But finally, I managed to get the cakes done and baked.

While the cakes were finishing in the oven, Corwin needed a ride to work. I threw on clothing and delivered him a few miles away via Air Volvo. I got the cakes out of the oven and started on the blog. I had the cakes for a late breakfast. I also took my pills, including my day 13 chemotherapy. Just this and Wednesday remain. I am tired from baking and writing and almost miss posting the blog at near noon.

I shower and dress and then lie down for a bit. I am fatigued already. I am reading when I hear the lawn service arrive who is mowing and tidying up the lawn and flower beds. I get going, head out, and step out to discover it is snowing while they are working. My lawn guy smiles and says, “Crazy weather!” and gets back to mowing while it snows on him.

Air Volvo takes me quickly out of the micro-climate that is our little spot in Aloha, now Beaverton, Oregon. It is now sunny, then rainy, wet snow, and then clear again. The traffic is a bit less today as I am later, and the Snow-tastrify has many folks still home. The clean-up is still ongoing, and the fear of three inches of snow or less has many folks hiding under blankets at home. Driving in the snow is too much for folks (there is no snow on the roads), and there is snow in the forecast (we did not get it).

I reach Forest Grove Rehab and Care Center without issue. The Coastal Mountains are white with snow again and beautiful. Forest Grove is higher altitude and is the last city before the mountains and foothills start.

Susie can barely open her eyes. She is very comfortable in bed, and the nurses let me know that she was up all morning watching TV near the nurse’s station in her wheelchair. Apparently, the nurses woke up Susie and Terry, her roommate, all night, and Terry figured they had three hours of sleep. Susie barely manages a conversation via FaceTime with her mother, Leta, as she falls to sleep again. Finally, I get a kiss and let them sleep. It was a very short visit.

I tucked in Susie with her little frog.

I return directly to the Volvo Cave without witnessing any extra-legal driving from my fellow Oregonians. From what I could see, most of the other drivers were still white-knuckled from the chance of snow and the white stuff visible here and there. Driving was slower, and everyone today was sticking to following lane markings.

Flowers arrived from my sister. She knows I like to grow roses, so she sent me various colors of roses for my birthday on Saturday, the 16th.

I went back to reading and lying down. I got a text from Mariah suggesting dinner, and thus I headed out on the non-snow-covered roads once again. We met at BJ’s Brewhouse for dinner. I had chicken fettuccini because I wanted to see if their version was better than my own. Nope, I could have made that. I also did not need the extra calories, but I had only a salad, pudding, and a piece of Irish Ginger Cake for lunch and was hungry. It was also dessert Tuesday, 1/2 off, so I had ice cream and a cookie I only finished 1/2 of with coffee.

I am looking forward to needing less food once chemotherapy ends. Now, I am still losing weight. Chemotherapy pills end on Wednesday at 10PM!

Mariah has a new job at Sage and loves the extra money and the new work. She is now collecting money for selling and re-upping licenses. This allows her to use her two years of customer service skills and knowledge of the software to find the right match of expense to service for Sage customers. It is working for her.

I was past fatigue and headed to exhaustion, so we said our goodbyes. I arrive home with Air Volvo safe and intact. I then collapse into bed. Sleeping until 10PM.

This late nap, of course, ruins my sleep. I managed to sleep after 4:30AM. I struggle to get going and finally release myself from the warm comfort of bed at 9ish. Unfortunately, my plan to get up early and do my taxes did not happen.

Going backward, I got home after midnight from Forest Grove Rehab and Care Center at 3900 Pacific Highway, Room 44A, after the X-ray did not show a blockage for Susie. It had taken a few hours for the portable X-ray machine, run by a guy named Tim, to reach Forest Grove. His previous call was at the limit of his area in Washington State! He had rushed to Forest Grove, but it still was a long drive with snow here and there. It was tough to wait while Susie complained of the pain. After the results came in, we learned that Susie could be treated with regular medications and even fell asleep.

I should add that I had my first eight hours of sleep in a while and felt much better on Monday. I was ill all Sunday.

I had to wake Susie to tell her that she would be fine and that I needed to get home. I had even taken my chemotherapy pills at the facility. I was prepared for an extended stay, but once the issue was known and was not difficult to resolve and Susie fell asleep, I left for home after waking Susie and letting her know she was OK and I was leaving.

I was called at 9ish that Susie wanted me called and that she was in pain and that an X-ray was ordered. Susie asked for me to come. So I threw on my shoes and took Air Volvo to Forest Grove. I had dinner before of CHICAGO 7™ CALZONE from Old Chicago Pizza with a salad. It is not as good as I had hoped, and the Cesar salad was perfunctory. Before, they had a stromboli made a bit lighter and more baked, and the salad was excellent. I was disappointed with dinner.

But I did use up the last GrubHub Card. This card is from Jason and Natasha; thanks!

Before this, I did watch the tearful end of the film Avengers: End Game on Disney+. I did not like it that much, but it did get a tear for losing one of the heroes.

I think I will go see Batman for my birthday on 16April. I have put aside seeing the new Spiderman movie as I heard it was a sad ending and don’t need that kind of ending right now. I can now order it via my cable when I am ready for that.

I returned to Vietnamese SciFi, needing more brain cookies, and started book 2 of Aliette de Bodard’s Dominion of the Fallen Novel: The House of Binding Thorns. This is a very dark world of fallen Angels in a nearly destroyed Paris. But, I love how de Bodard writes and have some signed books by her. She writes in two of her worlds still, putting the excellent Aztec novels to bed after the third one, the Space Opera Vietnamese empire, and the setting for this book, fallen Paris. I always recommend Aliette de Bodard’s books.

The novel and the third in the series are added to my Kindle. Only history books get purchased as physical copies by me now, and not always. I am tired of the books being everywhere, and I read so many that it would flood the house for just one year. Since Susie’s stroke, I think I have read over thirty books!

I was late all day and reached Susie at the Forest Grove facility at about 2:30PM and only stayed a short time as I was tiring fast. I do not want to repeat yesterday’s illness, so I am careful to go slow for the next few days. I managed to reach Leta, Susie’s mother, and they had a friendly chat.

Susie complained to me, she never complains, that her chest hurts in the very center and that she is a bit worried. I think she is having a reflux or stomach issue. The pain is 2/10 on the pain scale, so just an annoyance. The nurse, Summer, retakes Susie’s vitals on my request, and they, on the second check, are a bit elevated but normal. Summer will check on Susie, and that evening, as previously covered, I get a call from the facility that Susie is ill; Susie asks me to come to her, and I do.

Before this, it snowed about 1/4 of an inch last night. Most schools are closed (as it snowed more in higher elevations) or starting late. Forest Grove got 3 inches, and everything is chaos there. I do not rush in the morning as I will need to let the snow melt and let the unsafe drivers settle down. Also, trees are down everywhere (heavy snow and wind are a terrible combination in the tree-filled Greater Portland Area), and the main artery to Portland, The Sunset Highway 26, is blocked by trees in one direction. It is a Snow-tastrify. Many friends are using chainsaws this Monday, a manic Mondy!

I was up late as I was tired and managed to get moving at 8:30ish. I managed to sleep eight hours, so I was no longer exhausted.

I was trying to get up for church and then could not face it and went back to sleep repeatedly. I finally started at 9ish with the small hope I could still make Palm Sunday service and see Susie in the afternoon after church Sunday school. But, as I had feared, the eleventh day of chemotherapy was crushing me. Allergies had combined to weaken me further.

I had peanut butter toast for breakfast with coffee. Nausea, combined with some weakness, made it impossible for me to leave the house. I took the anti-nausea drugs that preclude driving and an anti-histamine to stop coughing, sneezing, and drainage. All the meds combined will make me extra sleepy and well loopy.

I called and couldn’t reach Susie’s nurse at Forest Grove Rehab and Care Center, so I asked them at 3900 Pacific Highway that Susie in 44A needed to know that her husband was too ill from chemo to drive in he was OK. This happened in the last cycle when I missed about three days of visits.

At least the blog writes itself, and I managed to finish it by noon. I also watched the Palm Sunday service at First United Methodist in Beaverton. The Rev. Anne Weld-Martin gave the sermon. I wish I could remember it, but that is not Anne’s fault. It is hard to focus when one is grabbing for the meds for discomfort. I also managed to add an additional check box of side effects and kept the restroom in sight all day. I have random joint pain, headache, and difficulty selecting words. I am trying to complete the whole checklist before the last cycle ends on Wednesday night.

Not able to imagine doing anything, I order a late breakfast or brunch from La Provence at Orenco Station via GrubHub (thanks, Nike and the NYC bunch, for the cards). I ordered Risotto Cakes & Eggs with one of their perfect Croissants with a bit of Brie. Corwin was not up yet, but I thought he could try something I have never had, Baked Eggs a la Francaise. It arrived still warm and was a nice break from suffering.

Aside: My nausea does not impact eating, strangely. It affects keeping things inside and is mostly just a reminder of the chemo. It gets worse after day ten when, I assume, the chemo has reached some level in my body that it starts to get to work and poison me. Again, not recommended as a party drug.

I use my electric blanket and watch Marvel movies deciding to go for broke and watch the ones with Thanos. When they were released, I did not like them, thought them illogical, and the film seemed to be trying to complete an apocalyptic checklist. So I decided to try them again and see if I really disliked them.

Yes, I dislike them still. The second movie, Avengers: End Game, is better and lighter with some running gags. I am only 1/2 through it. Instead of rehashing New York City under attack, it also uses the best material, Black Panther and Vision.

I went to bed after 1AM, leaving my Apple sitting in the trash bin in the living room (?!). I managed to fall asleep before 2AM. I slept until 5:45 and then rolled over and did not start until after 9. This is my first, slightly interrupted, eight hours of sleep in weeks.

It is the anniversary of the RMS Titanic leaving on its only journey 110 years ago. It was delayed days due to a coal strike and left with a fire in one of the coal bunkers in the ship’s bow. The Titanic nearly crashed into the liner New York, which delayed its departure by hours. When the ship stopped to pick up passengers in Ireland, an officer locked the binoculars away and forgot to return them to the lookouts. Thus they had to rely only on their eyes and smell, and hearing (ice is often smelled and heard before it is seen) to spot ice. When the fateful night game a few days later for the RMS Titanic, the Atlantic was calm as a millpond according to Captain Smith–he claimed in all his years he had never seen the Atlantic so calm. So there was no smell, no crashing sounds of waves, nor the white foam from the crashing to show the base of the ice, to alert the lookouts in time.

The start of Saturday is problematic as the fatigue, dizziness, and nausea come in waves, separate waves. I manage to get coffee made, and the dishes are done again, so there is no need for me to do them: better. The blog seems to write itself, which is at least a blessing. The chemo-head is not that bad, with the words flowing from me. It takes me about the usual two hours to write, edit, and fight with Grammarly to produce the blog, the usual time.

Allergies are what is making this last cycle so hard. All those lovely flowers out there are just killing me softly. I love the Spring in Oregon and the restart of my roses, but it makes the last cycle very hard. In response, I am taking a Zyrtec knock-off (Cetrizine Hydrochloride), which causes sleepiness but is not enough to bother me.

I manage to be dressed and be finished with the blog, email, and breakfast (peanut butter toast) in the morning. Dan and Janice will be picking me up at 1PM, so I will make a quick ham and cheese sandwich.

I slip off in Air Volvo to the local Safeway within walking distance (usually) to our house. I bought the Zyrtec knock-off (I was out) mentioned above and some new flowers for Susie. I managed to get through the DIY checkout without crashing the system and without help–an accomplishment on its own. I am quickly back home via Air Volvo.

Dan is a few minutes early, and I am lying down reading as I am already worn out. Janice is in the backseat as I am prone to nausea, and they even have bags ready. I rally and get into their car. Dan makes it to the Forest Grove Rehab and Care Center at 3900 Pacific Highway, Room 44A, without incident as Saturday traffic is a bit light.

Susie is just finishing lunch as we come in. The tables are packed with new residents, most aphasic. We move Susie after she finished her lunch to the lobby and hang out with her. After a few words, we call Susie’s mother, Leta, on FaceTime, and she and Susie chat for a bit.

I stepped out and talked to the administrators and learned that the Rehab department will likely take up evaluating Susie for their program on Monday. Today, Saturday, is Susie’s first full day released from hospice! I am anxious to get the facility to quickly decide if they will take Susie into their program as Susie would use some therapy for speech and other apparent issues. This will also mean that insurance would cover all the costs again. That would give me a breather on the financial side. But, I will have to wait until next week.

Dan, Janice, and I step out for about 45-minutes to get some yogurt a block further west on Pacific Highway. We eat it in the car. I get some chocolate gelato for Susie to go. We return, and Susie is still in the wheelchair, and we hang out with her at the tables near the nurse’s station. Susie has a few bites of the gelato saving the rest for dinner. We chat for a while, and then Susie gets tired; we say our goodbyes.

Dan gets me home, and I take a nap. I am not back up until after 6PM. Taxes are not getting finished today; I am worn out. Corwin’s boss at the Hawaiian place, Hawaiian Kine Bar-B-Q, made us both Korean-style beef stew for dinner. I have some about 8ish. I also download the movie Becket on my Apple. I started the film, was stunned by the total lack of historical accuracy and bought a book on Becket from a British museum that did a show with artifacts, sort of a history picture book. I then tried to watch and managed to get 1/3 into the movie. Peter O’Tool is excellent, but the chemo impacted me, so I decided to read instead.

I call Kate from Nike, and we chat about Nike IT politics and role-playing games for an hour or more. I sit in the chair with the warm blanket, and it is fun to hear how the shoe company SAP team is fairing in the usual chaos of budgets and turf fights. Someday I will try to DM for Kate’s group, but first Covid-19 fade more, and my chemo has to finish.

I finished the third book in the Old Man’s War series. This book is a page-turner, but I did wish that the very sympathetic main characters had an easy go of it. They are enjoying a retirement that is a second life and raising their adopted daughter. Then they are drafted to save another colony, and then it all goes side-ways. I recommend the series if you like military space opera.

I finish the book about midnight, but sleep does not come until 2AM. Nausea and the chemo burning inside me kept me up.

Friday started late with me sleeping until 9ish. I am exhausted today, Friday, and fighting nausea. Nevertheless, I wrote a long blog and even took Corwin to work in Air Volvo in the morning. I finish the blog at about noon and then dress as usual. I then read for an hour to rest. I was tired after getting dressed. I finally hit the road at 2:15ish to see Susie.

Air Volvo delivers me there at Forest Grove Rehab and Care Center at 3900 Pacific Highway, Room 44A, with us only having to dodge one extra-legal car driver’s unique interpretation of how to change lanes. I pass all the Covid-19 checks. As it is a bit late, I find Susie in bed and resting. She spent most of the morning in a wheelchair eating and hanging out. One of the new aphasic residents seems to have developed a friendship with Susie and comes to see Susie and just hold hands. One nurse aide comes to say goodbye to Susie as she will be off next week getting certified. Unfortunately, Susie’s issues include face recognition; Susie is unsure who the person is–even flashing her face, and the gal is a bit disappointed. But, I thank her, and Susie seems to remember the voice and wishes her well. Even for me, there is a moment for her to recognize me, and the hat and coat help, I believe.

We manage to get Leta on the phone using FaceTime. Susie and Leta have a long chat. I check with the nurses, and Susie’s vitals are stable; I check every day. I return to the room.

I am getting tired, and Susie is yawning. I can sleep in the chair or head out. I get a kiss on the way out. I forget to take a pic for Friday.

The walk to Air Volvo seems quite long. I get in the car and sit for a while without my mask on to get some more air. In a few minutes, I am better.

I head back to the house, but I have Air Volvo make an emergency ice cream break at Jim’s. I have a cone of Rocky Road that I eat mainly in the car, even while driving. The extra food and the simple pleasure of ice cream kept me going, and I reached home.

I am tired and a bit fuzzy. I start back on my taxes–why not? I log back into TurboTax, fight with the software for a few hours, and finally figure out what it wants on my stock option sales. Unfortunately, it looks like the bill will be huge this year. I am frustrated that all the tax records are not in the proper file, my fault, and I will have to search for the giving records. I believe I put them in a folder, but I cannot find them. It is likely on the floor. So I will search for them on Saturday.

On valuable financial news, all the proceeds from all the sales, now reduced by 1/3 for tax withholding for next year (always at the max rate), have been posted to my checking account, as did my paycheck, which, this time, was a number I recognize. Still wrong, but not twice or just $550 but the usual amount. Something to work out after my return to work. Thus I can now cover the taxes, medical bills for both of us, and Susie’s room and board. In addition, I have an MRI on 18Apl, which will be a hefty co-pay.

Aside: I don’t usually invest in IPO and the like, but I made an exception for Virgin Galactic. I like some of the ways that Virgin worked over the years and thus risked some cash. I cleared more than $3500 in profit on a small investment and even held it for a year to qualify it for long-term investment treatment. This is also why my taxes are a bit high this year. I did well in the market and cashed out last year, meaning I get to share my success with President Biden and the Oregon treasury. I sold all my small investments, making a few hundred dollars on Ford Motor Company, plus another hundred in dividends. I sold out to pay off the Volvo. I wanted my money out of the market as I sensed events were coming with Covid-19 already, creating a strange pressure on equities. Last year, I did not venture into Crypto as I had enough fun (and insane risk) with Virgin Galactic. I had invested in Crypto the previous year and made a few hundred bucks on a small investment. I like to be highly focused when I make crazy investments, so I keep to just one type of questionable investment with my cash. My retirement is managed by my risk category for my age, 57 (soon 58), and has a 25% increase for three years running, and I am facing a 10 percent loss so far this year–I never risk 401K money.

Returning to the narrative, I do rest for a bit. I am still not ready for dinner and just have cheese and crackers. Corwin finds the gumbo from Wholefoods for his dinner. The remains of which were still there this Saturday morning, forcing me to do all the dishes–fail!

I read and rest and chat with a few folks on the phone before sleeping most of the night away. I am up to prove hydration, and I am nearly overwhelmed by nausea. I rush and fall into bed without issue, and the problem subsides, and I fall asleep. I wake up a bit early and take some ginger; I have some candied for cooking, which helps this Saturday morning.

Another aside: The azaleas are starting to bloom. The roses are still growing, and buds are all over them. Some of the roses are still showing signs of stress, and I will take more action soon. The apple tree is starting to bloom, the state flower of Michigan. Spring has sprung.