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I am well and recovering, but I am still on painkillers, and computers are a lot harder to use and type on today–this will be short. Susie is not able to eat and drink. She has agreed to a simple small needle for fluids. I understand she is doing a bit better.

My adventures have improved today as the gas issue (no details will be provided) has passed. Yup. Finally, I can get some sleep, but I am very fuzzy from the cocktail of pain killers and other helpers.

My pain levels are good. And I have moved to solid food.

While I was enjoying the gas issue (no sleep for 28 hours), folks visited Susie, which kept Susie happy. I was able to talk and even Facetime with Susie.

I can walk, have just one IV left, and it is used for meds, not drips–No Pole anymore. I was polling dancing a lot yesterday. I am tired and fuzzy, but I can function.

Also, I no longer have to use the restroom every hour or more often. Last night was an endless party. I can even do this as a solo party.

Returning to the beginning, the surgery went as expected, and the hernia is also repaired and is more painful than the rest. I was warned about that. Doc ordered me a corset-like device to wrap around my center to help my recovery.

Sorry, today’s writing is not a narration. And that it is so short.

I may head home on Friday. That will bring new challenges. But I have lots of folks who want to help. I have a restricted diet: Low Fiber/Soft Diet. Sushi appears on the list, as does Indian food (no lentils)! I also see that white bread is allowed. I have done some interesting reading on Japanese-styled milk bread, and I have all that flour and might want to try something. Hmmm.

I would, of course, accept food from others

Thank you all for following along.

It is the day of my surgery when I write this. As usual, I have had an unpleasant experience doing the prep with the antibiotics, making me throw up a few times. So this will likely be more like an outline today as it is hard to focus on yesterday.

The morning started with me waiting until 7ish to get started. I had a slightly different morning process as some of the pre for surgery begins on Monday. Breakfast was chicken broth, and I had followed the bathing directions.

I found some clothing for Susie and a dreamcatcher from the Native Indian tribe that Susie helps fund care for their kids in South Dakota. Then, I headed out in Air Volvo early as I would leave towards noon to start more prep for surgery.

Susie appears to have had a stroke a few days ago. She struggles to talk with her right side not working as well as before. I spoke to the speech therapist, and she can see the new change too. Susie was changed to pureed food by the RN  as Susie cannot chew.

She was happy to see me when I was there. She was dressed and had already had breakfast. She mainly had drinks, and her choking issue is back, so drinks must be done with care.

Susie was happy to see me, and when Zoraida came later in the morning, her eyes lighted up. Susie had only a few swallows of soup from Zoraida.

Susie is holding the dreamcatcher and wearing a Nike Military support t-shirt.

I taped up my information on my surgery on a wall in Susie’s room and gave a copy to put in Susie’s chart. Then, I kissed Susie and told her I would be gone for a while and try to return for Christmas.

Air Volvo took me home. I am not sure I actually drove or flew home as the emotions were out of control. However, I managed to find my focus and enjoyed another meal of just chicken broth when home.

Now the focus was the prep. I mixed the bowel prep and refrigerated that. I tried to rest a bit and read, but 3PM came soon. Drinking bowel prep every twenty minutes for two hours.

Things began to work about the same time as taking the antibiotics. Within an hour of the antibiotics, I was throwing up the last load of Gateraid mix. Of course, I had a popsicle with the drugs to help keep them down, but that was just a flavor for the unpleasant events.

I continued with the process. I watched the insane movie Red Alert on Netflicks while experiencing the process. I used the pause button a lot. Not sure I could recommend Red Alert, but it was fun.

The process finally calmed about 1ish, but I did thow up again after the second set of antibotics, and I did my bathing prep in the new shower.

I spoke to many folks all day, received emails and texts, and did not feel alone. I finally got to sleep after 1:30ish and fell asleep.

I started the day at 7ish as I was too tired to begin at 6:30, and it always gives you a feeling of control when you decide to sleep in a few extra minutes. Today, Sunday, is the beginning of my prep for surgery on Tuesday, two days out.

I manage to do all the normal things, and the new shower is working better with the shower curtain inside, no water on the floor. I will buy the rubber strip later to make it easier to use.

I managed to get to the Forest Grove Rehab and Care Center about 10:15ish and ate my McDonald’s breakfast in the car. Then, I took my coffee in with me, my last coffee with cream for a while.

Forest Grove had a light white color from the snow that had not entirely melted on the grass and bushes. The snow gave the air a damp but nice holiday feeling.

Susie was dressed and back in bed. She was in hew clothing from yesterday and had apparently eaten again at the table and then went back to bed. Susie was a bit restless and tried to speak a few times. Finally, she can get out one or three words. However, the right side of her mouth cannot form the words.

She missed me; she let me know and that she could not find me. I tried to reassure her. We called Leta, and that helped her to be more comfortable. I also brought a Christmas card from an old friend, Harvey, and read the message to her. That made her very happy to hear from her old friend in Denver.

I stepped out for lunch. I drove around and even got lost in the tiny place, Forest Grove. Mariah recommended a Sushi place, but it was closed. I finally decided on soup as I have all the surgery prep coming up on Monday and thus returned to the Grand Lodge Iron Grill. The service was terrible, but the soup was good. Unfortunately, they are still using manual credit card processing after weeks after a Ransomeware attack that is now in the press.

I spoke to a retired Pan Am guy who used to work with their computers in the 1970s. We both talked about the old days and how the same problems still happen today, poor backup planning, for example (looking at the manual steps at the bar).

I returned to the facility, and Susie was tired but still trying to talk a lot. Mostly about not finding me (again) and being sorry for causing the trouble. Susie also remarked that she was not getting better.

Susie’s blood pressure was low. I talked to the nurses about that, and they said they would speak to the doc. Susie wants no more IVs; she was clear about that and trips to the ER. No ER.

Anne Weld-Martin visited and gave Susie a Christmas bell to wear. She chatted with Susie a bit, and Susie was happy to have someone else to talk with. A prayer was said.

I left just after Anne. I had more items to get for the prep and some other things. So I kissed Susie goodbye at 3:15ish. It is always heartbreaking to leave.

I managed to get my focus back while driving Air Volvo, dodging some insane driving here and there. I am not sure what the holiday season has done to people’s nerves, but their driving suggests everyone needs a time-out!

The folks at Safeway, who know me after 20 years of buying here, wished me well. I only get in once in a while as I try to order groceries on the Safeway website. They were happy to see me, and I donated $10 to Safeway’s fund for helping folks in the holidays.

When Air Volvo and I finally got to the Volvo Cave (home), I gave Corwin a new Monopoly game, Star Wars Baby Voda version. I found it in Safeway and had to get it for him. He loved it–it is the way!

Corwin ordered Chinese delivered for two even before I got home. I wrote and distributed more memos on my surgery and visiting Susie. I also stripped the bed and washed all the sheets. Clean sheets and special bathing instructions are now to be implemented. I had “beef soup,” which was like an egg drop soup with bits of beef and cilantro–not bad. I broke my early adherence to clean liquids and shared in on some noodles with shrimp (stupidly spicy–but edible) and some dumplings like pork items. I at least stuck to protein focus before surgery.

We consumed this fine dinner for two while watching two more episodes of “The Witcher,” which keeps getting better and better. This time there were a lot of naked folks, but it seemed to fit the story. At least, that is what I told myself. The lead witcher character did a fantastic stunt killing a boss monster. Corwin and I almost did golf clamps for the one.

I tried to pick up the board games stacked on the floor. The attempt failed when Ankh, an expensive game in new super slippery high-quality boxes, just poured out of the shelf and broke my lap. Eye-rolls.

I then headed to bed, remaking the bed, following special night bathing requirements, and using only newly washed towels. To quote the Disney show, “It is the way.”

The two cups of tea did make it harder to sleep, but I did manage to sleep by midnight with a few times of reading Brothers Cabel. The story freely mixes material, including zombie attacks, Lovecraft monsters, and James Bond. But it is actually working this time. Sometimes, the author was too formulaic and predictable in the early books, but this works. Indeed, a bit impressive.

I am asleep with the phone next to me. I am worried about Susie.

Working backward, I was in bed reading only a few pages of Brother Cabal before I was nodding off just before midnight. I slept even after a cup of tea. Outside was a Pineapple Express storm with slushy snow; it was too warm to be more than just be pretty.

Before I watched the first episode of The Witcher second season with Corwin (a diehard fan), which stars the same actor who played Superman and in the remake of The Man From U.N.C.L.E., This made it hard for me to get over the disbelief. Still, the voice and mannerisms match the video game. This first episode was scary and creepy and even told a moral lesson. I recommend it.

Before this, I drove Air Volvo through the sideways blowing rain and melting snow. With the Volvo’s instruments showing a temperature of 41, I had no fear of ice or the dreaded black ice on overpasses and bridges. I did take the highest bridge and a banked on-ramp to the bridge that is actually taller than the bridge that I call the Space Shuttle Ride. It was snowing up there, but the flooded roadway was the real danger with me passing two wrecks of folks who needed better tires and to go slower.

I had left Richard’s house in Portland playing a board game with five people, including myself. Richard had texted me early in the week to join them, and I took a risk and agreed to the game in the evening, Unfathomable. I had not been able to play a game with them since September, and it was so good to see them.

Unfathomable is a “dudes on a board” just recently published where the players are all working together to save the S.S. Atlantica and themselves and arrive in Boston. The ship is attacked by Mythos creatures (deep ones) and sea elder gods from the H.P. Lovecraft tradition. Each player has some basic one-time power and some skills to help; I played the nurse and could rescue people, for example. There are resource dials that represent various resources such as food and coal and more abstract Mythos-based resources such as souls and sanity. If the bad guys damage every room in the ship, or the players run one of the resources to zero, the ship is lost, and all the humans lose the game. For example, coal is used to get closer to the end of the trip. Therefore, it is essential not to waste any.

But, there is more. There are several traitors player characters that are actually half-deep ones and will win if the ship sinks. These hybrid humans are not revealed unless the player wishes to reveal themselves and then are openly working against the survival of the S.S. Atlantica. Also, each play of a player’s character ends with a challenge to keep going. The players provide resources to overcome the difficulty. If they fail, resources are lost, and other nasty things happen. The process is done in secret, and the traitors can cause the challenge to fail, but then the humans might work out who is a traitor and throw that character in the brig. It is a game of paranoia, evil secret agents, and Mythos. Perfect!

The game is a rework of the Battlestar Galactica board game, no longer published, where the players are trying to save the human race from the Cylons, but some of the players are “skin jobs” and are hidden Cylons. And just like in the remake series of the T.V. show, some of the secret Cylons think they are human and only learn to change sides halfway through the story. This new version, Unfathomable, is easier to play and learn, but some of us miss the heavily themed original version, and being a “toaster” is more fun than being a secret cultist. James and I both like the game better than the original, as it flows much better without so much reliance on the Battlestar Galactica theme. 

Overall, it was excellent to finally get to play the game; I even have a copy and to see the P.D.X.-based gamers. I needed a distraction, and having my character drown just after learning that Richard is a traitor (he locked my character in the brig) and let the ship be destroyed, was a great gaming experience.

Before the game, I drove Air Volvo in the Pineapple Express heavy rain to Portland without events in unexpected Saturday holiday heavy traffic. As a result, I was just on time for the game, with Richard delaying the game for 30 minutes for the weather and traffic.

Before heading out, I finished the other half of my tuna fish sandwich from Subway at home. Susie is allergic to fish, so I never get a simple tuna fish sandwich at home, so it is exotic to me. Subway does a nice one, and all the veggies are fresh.

I left Susie about 3:15 as I had to go shopping to get items for my purification rites (bowel prep) for my surgery on Tuesday. Susie was resting then and enjoying all the Christmas trees, one from the Smiths (plus Jason) and one from Leta and me. I left the lights on for her (running the batteries out soon).

 

Susie’s heart rate is running slower in the 90s. Her blood pressure is low at 100/67. Her face slightly droops on the right side, and she struggles more to get words out. The nurses think she is unchanged, but I think she has had another micro-stroke. We all decided not to rush Susie to the E.R. for more needles and likely days in the hospital. Susie agreed she would like to stay in Forest Grove for now.

Susie and I had a halting and somewhat heartbreaking exchange. She asked if she was worse (yes) and apologized for not getting better (I told her it was her fault). Susie said, haltingly, that she was trying (I said we all know that). She is still trying to stay hydrated and choked once severely on the water.

We called Leta and Susie had a little piece of fudge and other items. Just enough to taste it but not enough that she needs to chew and swallow. Even with the low bandwidth, we also managed to do a short Facetime with Leta.

Before this, I stepped out for lunch at Subway and got a full-sized sandwich that I then saved half for later.

Moving to the early afternoon/late morning, I got there, and Susie was resting and had just finished breakfast. They had her dressed and had her up in the wheelchair at a table eating before I got there, and she was just back to bed.

Susie was happy to see me and always asked if I would be back tomorrow. She knows I have surgery coming and will miss me for some days. I remind her that we have people coming to visit her next week.

Before getting to Susie, I had to drive back from Portland. My Covid test for my surgery was at 10:25. So I drove in a bit early and had coffee and lemon cake at Starbucks, a fav. I called Kat Smith in New York City and talked about her potential exposure to Covid delaying her Christmas plans to visit Oregon. She saw the off-Broadway show that is a mix of Dickens and Sherlock Holmes; she liked it. So it is likely she will be cleared to travel on Thursday.

I wrote the blog in the early morning and got going about 7ish as 6:30 was just too damned early!

 

The morning started with me starting as usual at 6:30 and waking before my alarm. I was able to get started and did the everyday things, including writing the blog. I also sent a note to my boss Brad and his boss Jim that I was at a loss on fixing my leave request and asked them to intervene.

I used the new shower, and the shower curtain managed to get water all over. I spoke to Jeff by text, and he suggested a rubber strip to stop the water and move the shower curtain inside the shower–this means cutting the curtain to fit. Unfortunately, I could not put in a glass shower door as the occupational review of the house for Susie had me take out the last one. But I think I can make it work.

I reached Susie in Forest Grove Rehab Care Center at 3900 Pacific Highway in room 44A just after 10AM. My usual time. Susie was sleeping when I got there.

Susie’s speech was much worse, and her ability to use more than three words is now impaired. Susie could not get her name right and could not count her numbers. I suspect another stroke, a change in meds, or just plain exhaustion. I decide to let her sleep.

I contacted the nurse and the nurse practitioner to check up with Susie and see if they saw a reduction in speech. Adam, the NP, asks if I want her sent to the ER for the possible stroke, and I decide I do not want to put Susie through all those needles. A possible stroke means an IV and emergency CAT scan and lots of blood tests. I let her sleep.

I am a bit upset and lost my papers on my own surgery somewhere in the facility.

I also cannot find evidence of any physical therapy today, growl.

I see Susie dressed in her PJs now and in a wheelchair. The CNA said Susie wanted to eat lunch at the table and communicate with them. Maybe it was exhaustion.

I head out for a break while Susie is having lunch. I meet Scott Woolfolk at the Grand Lodge Iron Grill pub. We talked about Nike stuff, and I was grateful to be distracted with Scott for more than an hour.

I return, and Susie is still at the lunch table and looking more awake. She still is having more trouble getting words out. Her vitals are not showing signs of dehydration. We spend an hour watching music videos from the 80s, including Queen, David Bowie, and George Michaels. Susie can sing very loud, but she does sing the words here and there.

There is a Christmas Party today, but Susie is too tired to attend (I did get a cookie). It takes her a while, but she tells me she is too exhausted and needs her bed. So I take her there, and we find a next-day-delivery package on the bed.

This is Leta’s fudge and other goodies! Susie has a bit of the peanut butter fudge and smiles when the flavor takes her back to years of Leta’s fudge.

I have a 3-4PM appointment with my new lawyer in Aloha. They have my will ready. This is a contingency that needs to be in place for my surgery. The best way to stop something from happening is to be prepared–an IT thing.

Michelle and David come to see Susie, and Susie, now in bed, is pleased to see them. She has not seen them since September. I kiss Susie goodbye while she hangs out with the Smiths.

Note: Kat Smith was coming on Saturday late to spend the holidays here in Oregon. New York City is having a massive breakthrough of Covid. Yesterday was the most positive test result, over 27,000, they have experienced. Kat has been exposed, travel plans are being re-written, and testing is required. Kat was coming home as she would be alone in her apartment, and her sister, Natasha, was traveling too. We hope and pray that Kat will not be infected and face Covid-19 alone in NYC!

After a few misses, I find my new lawyer’s office and get my will signed and paid for. While this is going on, I have to take calls and am that guy who talks on the phone in front of people waiting for you. It is rude, and I apologize, but necessary.

With my will now, I head home in Air Volvo and talk to the leave processing folks. Connie, from the insurance company that handles leave requests at Nike, is handling the case, and my boss had worked with her, and it appears that my doc had filled out the forms for both my illness and my wife’s stroke. Wrong. I understand the mistake and ask them to work with my doc to get it the way they want. They know my issues (THANKS, BRAD JONES, for explaining everything to them) and assure me they can get it handled. One problem seems to be working out.

I later get a call from the pre-surgery folks. I learn that my surgery is actually at 12:30 and I am to be there at Legacy Good Sarmian Hospital two hours early, 10:30. The surgery is planned to take 4 or more hours. I need to nominate one person to take the call from the doc on the results. I will try to work that out. I have written a memo on whom to contact and have my medical info (it is a long list).

I get home, and I have two packages, one a tree. Leta and I ordered a decorated Christmas tree for Susie, live, from Jackson and Perkins. I will take that to Susie on Saturday.

The other package is about one of my interests, the World War I naval battle of Jutland. A guy, Dr. Mike Bennughof, creates board games to explore the history and sells the games through his company Avalanche Press. He has a Ph.D. in the history of WWI, focusing on Jutland and related battles. His newest publication is a 64 paged rule book with commentary on the Dogger Bank battle and other events that could be gamed. This is not for most folks but is a chance to experience various scenarios via the board game (you need the entire board game, Jutland, also produced by his company to play and maybe his added on for Zeppelins to be complete).

Please note, with the passing of the 100th anniversary of Jutland 1916, new writings with a careful review of the surviving material, most of which survived two World Wars and the impact of 100 years and some cover-ups of questionable decisions, have been coming out. From another newly minted Ph.D. on Jutland, one book covers in detail how guns are controlled in British and German battleships and battlecruisers, and this new book is over two hundred pages thick! I did notice that some of its findings appear to be included in updates to game rules from Avalanche Press’s publication. The strangest publication to come out is the printing of the repressed official British study of the Jutland battle after more than 100 years of being “lost.” I have one.

I have chicken noodle soup for dinner, from a can. I do the dishes.

I spend the evening reading and trying to unwind. It is not that easy. WW1 game rules and the book Brothers Cabal help.

I get some more kind notes from friends like Marc Hopkins, whose wife survived Colon Cancer.

My sadness and emotional pain are not about cancer, scary and the surgery terrifying, but my wife’s illness, Susie, is fading. It makes me cry, and I miss Susie before the strokes. I still look for her when I am home.

I drank tea while watching more Wheel of Time; I still don’t get it and have some trouble sleeping, but finally, sleep.