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Starting my next day was a bit easier. I managed some food without side-effect yesterday and so waken feeling better.

Yesterday started with me doing my regular proof of hydration throughout the night. I slept until 9:40 and was a bit rushed to get my pills in on time with food, but I managed. I also made a pot of coffee.

I wanted, mistakenly, to limit my overuse of carbohydrates and focus food on cottage cheese again for breakfast. So I had a fruit cup with the white stuff, and it was good. I was hungry. I got all the pills in and tried to relax.

Today’s (Friday’s) side-effects involved quickly reaching the toilet. This was followed by the following process:

• Made it, no spills.
• Well, that was not too bad.
• How did I get so much in there?
• Yes, I will want an Extended Stay.
• Lucky, I brought a book.

After, I am taking the meds to bring the breach under control. I have multiple adventures and must change my plans for the day. No visit to Mrs. Wild today; Air Volvo does not have this facility. Kat suggested I really need to upgrade to a TARDIS.

By the early afternoon, I am dizzy, and my tummy is not happy. So I decided to make oatmeal from scratch. After cooking the steel-cut oats in a pan, I add brown sugar with walnuts and butter. It is perfect, and the dizzy and tummy issues are gone. My other problems also settled, and I am still fatigued, feeling much better. I needed some carbs.

I finally get dressed. It was not that hard once I got some food into me.

Kat in New York City got the first box of clothes. Susie, before the breast cancer, was about the same size and shape as Kat. So, after checking with Susie, I boxed up some of Susie’s older (and a few newer items she has not worn for a while) and sent them to Kat in NYC. Kat and Natasha may find a second life for some of the wearables. Kat liked the items, and some actually fit Kat perfectly. I will send more later. Kat and I shared the unboxing by FaceTime with me, with me filling in what the item was for.

Dinner is short ribs and risotto with a tart for dessert supplied by Kuang and Christine. It is fantastic. I have small meals and leave some for the 10PM the second dinner.

I am watching the second season of Miracle Worker, and I think I like the second season even better. They completely rewrote the story, and it is now about life in the dark ages in a tiny town. It is hilarious, and I need something light. They even had a running joke.

The clock is slowing, and that makes me very happy. The chemo-head was not impacting me. I am getting bored, good! I am paying more attention to my body as it needs food and rest in strange mixes. I will try to understand.

I managed to have trouble sleeping; I drank a lot of tea. I finally slept and got some rest last night.

 

The adherence to process, the careful understanding of the process, and just getting the through things done brought me to 1/2 through cycle 1 of chemotherapy.

Thanks, dear reader, for supporting me all these days. And for those occasional readers, thank you too.

On re-reading, this sounds more like my Howard character than my own experiences, but this is really how I actually think.

So far, I have had no permanent loss of dexterity, but extreme cold sensitivity is still there, and I am careful to monitor my toes. And yes, they all work.

I am getting up now, usually after many trips to the bathroom, proving my good hydration, around 9:30ish. Stealing a few hours more of morning luxuriating sleep.

I dress slow, and instead of my usual rushed morning of so many years working for the shoe company, I instead go slow and a bit unsteady.

This Thursday morning (yesterday), I had a bagel with butter and anti-nausea meds. I have to pick every morning as the drugs cause drowsiness and multiply their effect. Not a normal response, but I know my body, and it will put me out for the day if I take them together. So it is anti-nausea today, and the anti-diarrhea pills will have to wait.

The bagel stays where I put it. “You have chosen wisely,” words seem to drift into my head.

I take my chemo drugs and most of my chemicals at 10s, 10AM, and 10PM. This makes planning easy. I have to eat within 30 minutes of the 10s. I am now eating smaller meals as that seems to settle better and prevents more drugs and options that I might not enjoy.

I am usually a morning person starting at some dark hour and then rushing into the day excited by all the possibilities. Now, I glide a bit into the afternoon, finding it is 11AM before I am ready for that.

Thursday, I discovered that my two previous days of discomfiture had me miss that I have no clean clothes. Rev. Anne Weld-Martin called me and offered a lift to see Susie in Forest Grove Rehab and Care Center at 3900 Pacific Highway, Room 44A, but I had a sequence error. So I first needed to be dressed, and that meant doing laundry. So I had to forgo Anne’s kind offer and instead wait for the laundry process.

I need a distraction now, and thus, Mariah’s recommendation, I turned to HBOMax and found the show Miracle Worker. I don’t usually do comedies, but one set on God and angels and the end-of-the-world just gets me. All staring well-meaning young people, perfect. I loved it, and it distracted me while I waited, it seemed forever, for laundry.

I will admit I finished one season on Thursday, something I never do. So recommended, and you will know if this show is for you in one episode.

I dressed and enjoyed the newly clean clothing, and I managed to get ready and headed out in Air Volvo. I did not want to take any anti-nausea meds, as these drugs make driving complex. Thus, I drove with the windows open and my mind focused on the task. Phone calls happened, and it was nice to chat to folks while going and thus ignore my other more, let’s call them profound feelings.

I reached the facility without incident, that is, without my fellow Oregonians demonstrating any unique use of cars and driving laws. My entrance was delayed by answering the questions that I had symptoms of chemotherapy that overlap Covid-19 checks. The administrator ruled that I had no Covid-19 symptoms and thus could enter.

I was only there for a short time. Susie was awake and dressed with Rev. Anne Weld-Martin, and Susie spoke clearly and was very happy to finally see me after a two-day absence. But, of course, I put on gloves, as I cannot expose folks even to my hands as I am aswarm with chemo. So Susie got to hold my gloved hands for about twenty or so minutes.

I started to fade fast, and the mask was not improving my building nausea. I am usually a fan of N95 masks, and they never bother me until that day.

I forgot to take a pic, and I did not call Leta, and I suddenly needed to leave. So maybe next time it will be easier.

Anne follows me home in her car as I am pale and challenged now. I manage to have no events, no emergency auto-pilot items start on Air Volvo, reach home, collapse into my chair, and grab an anti-nausea med before things worsen.

Dinner and later dinner are cottage cheese. Something I love and can quickly get down. I watched the rest of season one of Miracle Worker; it fades a bit, but still is a good show.

Bed calls, and I manage to sleep after reading more. Better.

The day started with me up late and very uncomfortable. I had slept a bit but was up and down all night. I was tired, and my tummy hurt, and well, it was just ridiculous.

So this will be a concise blog as I just slept and tried to feel better.

I did not dress but changed to clean clothes to sleep again later.

I watched the weather channel and the big storm hitting the center of the USA.

I did enjoy and highly recommend the Book of Boba Fett (which when I spell it looks like a cheese and shrimp place, but luckily I looked up the spelling!) episode 5-6. This is on Disney+ and finds its roots again with these events moving the Star Wars cannon forward. Most excellent!

I managed to order too much for dinner making myself worse, and now I am sticking to small meals as recommended by doc. The bloating and gas issues were spectacular.

Slipping into today, Sleep stopped at 4AM with me up and down for a while. I find it helpful to sleep in the chair and then rotate in the bed. I did this and found myself luxuriating to 10! Better!

Forgot to take photos, but staged this one for us today.

I enjoyed my new book, putting one I was reading on hold as it is too dark for me at the moment, The Bright Ages: A New History of Medieval Europe. One of the authors, David M. Perry, wrote up a response to the banning of Mauz and so I thought I should read his books–I promise to read Mauz after the chemo. So far, Mr. Perry’s book is one of the better Medieval histories I have read and matches my thoughts on how to read and tell history. Recommended. 

I am reading the book when the discomfort gets to me, or I awaken. I can read just by Kindle light (yes, I use an Amazon reading device). It is well written, and I also know this history, so I do not need to be laser-focused to understand the text.

I am still getting some cold effects in my fingers, and the chemo exhaustion gets me when I focus on a task. Frustrating.

I managed to check off another side-effect and made fast trips to the toilet. No failures. But, I have to clean the bathroom every time to prevent anyone from being exposed to chemo drugs. So, yes, bleach wipes and cleaning are part of my routine now!

Evan called me and asked me for any wisdom from my experience so far. Nope. Nada. It is just as I imagined. A low burn flu-like process in the belly with an occasional misery increasing event. The emotions are closer to the surface, and tears come easy, but they always have for me, but I can find a book or a Marvel movie to bring me out of the tears. And, then there is constantly cleaning the toilet to get one head back together. Practical stuff works to ground me.

So I learned to eat small bites, tedious, and watch the intake for my stressed tummy. I take the drugs when things go wrong; emergency runs to the toilet are over (for now).

Dry heaves did not happen for a while. So the bagel and coffee were good this Thursday morning.

A better start!

I am not feeling very good this Wednesday morning and will limit my writing. Also, I spent most of Tuesday being uncomfortable, so there is very little genuine interest to write about. I was expecting trouble for today, and I have it.

The morning started well enough. I did not have to get up early and take the steroids, so I managed to sleep a bit more. Although trying not to overshare, I used the bathroom every two hours. Apparently, I am staying hydrated! So I was a bit staggered by the lack of sleep.

No bees in my bloodstream from the steroids made everything feel a bit normal.

But I started to feel the exhaustion and the literal stagger tiredness I had read about. So I threw on some clothes and drove Corwin to work just down the street. I then called the Forest Grove Rehab and Care Center at 3900 Pacific Highway, Room 44A, and let the nurses know I would not make it in today. So they will update Susie that I am not making it in.

I had a bagel for food at 10AM and then made instant mashed potatoes for lunch. I was in some discomfort and tried to rest or move or anything. Then, I got a call from the chemo doc assistant, and they were concerned that I was going to be constipated (I think I have reached that goal already) and gave me advice on what to do (actions taken).

I had dry heaves a few times, went back to the anti-nausea meds, and tried to rest. Just a totally miserable set of moments.

I got dressed, which always makes me feel better, and watched the Weather Channel. There is another storm hitting the country’s east.

More heaves and still no results that bring relief. Ugh!

Dinner is from Red Robin, and I used Martha Sayle’s GrubHub card again for that. I just got appetizers finger food, and that seemed to work. The food helped a bit, but the bloating then just got worse later.

So not a very happy day, and today, Wednesday, is not starting better. I will be calling the docs soon if it gets worse.

Wish I had a more happy message.

 

Starting with my current status this Tuesday morning. I have, as I planned, slept most of the morning–Day 5 has no steroids. I could not fall asleep until after 2ish as I had taken naps in the afternoon. I was not feeling right on Monday evening. I then was up all night putting back the water I drank. I am not sure how I could have drunk that much water, but I did get up every two hours until 9:30 this morning. So I am a bit tired, but I feel more like myself. Also, all the pain is gone, and there are no breathing issues. No need for a cane.

Returning to yesterday, Monday, I was up with only a few hours of sleep again to start at 6ish. I took the steroids and the anti-nausea meds, and I still had the bees running through my blood from the steroids. Some exhaustion was starting as the clocks on the walls were running too fast still for me. I managed to write most of the blog in the morning, but I was slowed down by the muscles in my hands not quite following the patterns I expected. I am hoping this will not get worse.

I threw on some clothes and drove Corwin to work at 11ish. I managed without issue, returned to the house, dressed, and got ready. I heated up Michelle Vondencamp’s soup for lunch, published the blog, and headed to see Susie at the Forest Grove Rehab and Care Center at 3900 Pacific Highway, Room 44A.

Note: My German-made saw came today (Monday). I have no actual plans to use it soon, but my existing saw was not up to my standards. If you will use a handsaw then invest in a good one. It makes it all worth it. It is also more fun to feel the wood than to hear an electric saw. Also, the first aid for a mishap with the handsaw is much less than an electric one!

Returning to the story, I passed the entrance requirements and put on gloves. I am full of chemo and should not share it with anyone. Susie was having a good day; she was up previously and watched TV and chatted with the nurses. The mouth issues are gone, and Susie’s voice and speaking are better. A wonderful surprise.

We did a few FaceTimes with mom Guild, Leta, and David Smith. Susie was much more animated for the calls and managed a few sentences. I, on the other hand, was fading fast. So it was a short visit, but one to treasure.

After this, the exhaustion hit hard. My stomach was also not quite right; I suspect I have been pouring in the water while writing and doing other tasks. I often do not notice when I am doing tasks.

Linda Wild, my sister, delivered some Mexican-styled food for me, and we ordered a bit more from Corwin’s fav place. It was too much, but I had to eat a second dinner at 10, so this worked. Martha Sayles GrubHub card handled that purchase.

I spent the evening sleeping poorly and then chatting with Corwin about my thoughts that are really a sermon I was thinking about now, seeing that I have some contemplation hours available (or forced on me). I kind of mix the story of the 40-days in the wilderness, the Passion, and MLK’s last speech remembering MLK saying “I have heard” in his Mountaintop speech. Whether I will ever give the sermon is less interesting than the exercise of being able, still able, to think clearly. Poor Corwin got the first version.

I had that on my mind when trying to sleep, which undoubtedly prevented my sleep as I had given into the steroids, just buzzing like a bee. At 2ish, I got up and did some looking at the Internet. Enjoying the latest Trump news; he is always good for WTF and OMG moments no matter what side you are on.

I finally slept, waking every two hours to lighten the water content of my body. It was a pleasure to not wake up and start at 6AM.