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Friday was plagued with a shaking fatigued that made the day just hard. Sort of a flu-like feeling that any moment you will have the flu, but it never comes. This made me sort of bounce from one thing to the next without any purpose. I took a nap in the afternoon, but it was short as I would not fall asleep. It took me until 3AM to sleep, and getting going was harder this Saturday morning, and I am running late.

Spring weekend starts after this Friday. I am coughing and sneezing, and my eyes are burning a bit. The inhaler stops the wheezing to some degree. It is a typical pollen and mold-filled Oregon Spring.

I manage to write the blog, make breakfast of oatmeal with walnuts and dried cranberries, and read all the emails and news. The blog is not a chore today. The shaking fatigued does not prevent me from finding my writing voice, and I see on rereading that the writing is a bit muted and not as ironic as usual. The world has enough irony without me adding my own!

I watched a bit of Bloomberg. Of course, with Putin and his minions and sycophants threatening nuclear war and the US now American-explaining to China that it would be unwise to support Russia, the stock market is flying up. While Biden is chatting, the newish China aircraft carrier transitions through the Taiwan Straights. The yield-curve is immediately inverted when the Fed raises rates suggesting that a recession is now coming. Nike stock, deeply discounted by the chaos, is currently raising three to five bucks a session. The narrative is that the Fed’s math does not work, but maybe it will work anyway. Again, I am sure I need to add no new irony to this world.

It is Friday, and for me, just another day of getting to the next day, Saturday. I always notice Fridays, but as I am no longer working, it is strange to have another weekend show up, and my days are mostly the same now. My father told me that, after retirement, he had to get a clock that showed the day of the week as it got a bit strange to him not to know what day of the week it was. I am not quite there, but it is a peculiar feeling when Friday and Thursday seem the same. But, also unlike most people, my goal is to reach the next day with the new proviso of not visiting the ER that day. Or, as my father would say to me years ago, it is a good day to see the sun and not see the ER.

I go slow as again I am not quite all that well. I learn that it is essential to not lower my head below my heart level and stand up more deliberately. The anemia is back, but not as bad as when I had a tumor bleeding, but it requires an adjustment.

I manage to dress and shower and then drive to see Susie. Air Volvo has no problem with the slightly moist Oregon Spring, and I soon arrive with all my paint still on my Volvo at Forest Grove Rehab and Care Center at 3900 Pacific Highway, Room 44A. Road construction has started this spring, orange construction signs are nearly as familiar as daffodils here in the Pacific Northwest.

I am careful to stand slowly. For the first time, Susie and I cannot reach Susan’s mother as she is in a car traveling to Ann Arbor, Michigan, to have dinner with Emma, her granddaughter, who is impossibly twenty-six years old now. We record a short video and share that. I then call Zerioda and Peter Koper, and they both have a friendly chat with Susie. Susie can speak with some clarity today and seems to be more aware of her surroundings today.

I tired quickly and soon was taking Air Volvo home. Emma and her family recorded a video back to Susie, and I will play that for her on Saturday.

I manage a chicken sandwich from Popeyes and try to rest. But, again, sleep is not coming. I remember this change from last time. Days of exhaustion were suddenly followed by the need to walk and move to rest at night. One of the many transitions. The cold sensitivity is holding on this time, and my cheeks always feel like I am outside on a cold day in Michigan of my youth here in the 70F house.

More news, and I watch a few late-night routines and return to Batman: The Long Halloween. I am amazed, now knowing who is The Holiday Killer, how much I missed the first time, and how subtle the hints are. If you need more Batman, then I would recommend this one.

I finally give in to the nervous energy and start reading the book Americana again. The book passes through the 1929 Crash with a fascinating explanation of the mistakes made by the treasury. World War 2 is described not from the war point of view but as a change to how the government and people interact with the government. The author points out that people are now drafted and sent to war by the government, just a few hundred years from when that would be unthinkable.

The book is now clearly quoting the racism of housing and FHA regulations. The WW2 building boom is for whites is clearly being pointed out. I am happy to see that the narrative is finally returned to the issues still plaguing. I would say that I recommend this book which is really an essay about the American experience. I found the description of the 1929 Crash and government failures the clearest I have read.

I managed to sleep finally late.

 

Going backward, I had too many naps and could not sleep until almost morning. I was awake most of the night, but around 3-4AM, I finally nodded off. I did not do much reading as I was tired yet not sleepy.

Before going to bed, I did decide to watch again, Batman: The Long Halloween, and now see all the parts I missed. I see now how it was all there in this sort of detective animated version of the famous comic book. I managed to get through an hour of the show.

I finished my apple cake I picked up as a to-go dessert from the Golden Valley Brewery and ate my spaghetti leftover from a few days ago. I had this at 10PM with my pills.

Before this, I took a very long nap, 3-7, and Evan gave Corwin some driving lessons on the freeway. Evan headed out later, and I just decided to go slow for the rest of the night. No St. Patrick’s Day green beer for me.

Going back to the afternoon, Evan and I had a St. Patrick’s Day late lunch at the Golden Valley Brewery. I was still wearing a mask as it is sort of recommended with chemo not to catch anything, including Covid-19, but the staff was unmasked, as was all of the customers. The customers also moved, and I was not ready for that, from table to facility without masks. The crowd was small and ceiling-high, so I felt safe, but I would only be there when the crowds were small or sit outside now. It was still shocking to see faces.

The bartender, Steve, remembers me and asked after Susie. He sends his best to her.

I asked everyone to keep their distance, which was accepted after explaining that I was taking chemo. I had a coffee and amaretto. The bartender gently warmed the amaretto and put it in a beaker-like cup.

Evan had the leek soup and a burger. I had the beef pie as I thought that might be better than diving into corned beef with my side-effects. It was wonderful. The service was unusually slow, but the food was perfect. I also got a cup of just hot water, and our waiter was always there to help me. I got a dessert to-go, as I said above.

The food helped, and I was no longer as tired.

We reached 3900 Pacific Highway without incident; I driving Air Volvo. Evan and I followed the entrance protocols and had no issues entering the Forest Grove Rehab and Care Center and finding room 44A empty as Susie was still eating lunch at the nurses’ station.

I use a cane as I get tired and want something to help if I misstep. The infusion for chemo is still impacting my muscle control even after a week. I want no falls!

Susie was happy to see Evan and me. We let her finish lunch, and then I called Susie’s mother, Leta, and they chatted for a while. Susie was calmer today as I had managed to keep my promise of coming on Thursday.

Evan then pushed Susie around the facility for a while. I just led the way with my cane. Susie wanted to see the flowers, especially the daffodils, as they had just bloomed in Forest Grove. Susie even went outside to see them in the light sprinkles of Oregon’s gray spring days.

Before this, I slept until late, 9:45ish, and was slow at everything. Evan met me at the house after I had managed to write the blog and get ready. He offered to drive, but I prefer to manage that.

I had managed to sleep most of the night.

For those wondering, the big gaming convention in Portland, Gamestorm, is next Thursday and goes through the weekend. I usually host five to ten games and play dozens of ad hoc games. This year with Susie in Forest Grove and me enjoying chemo, I am passing (even with an all-paid membership). I will miss seeing all my once yearly opponents and trying out the latest madness from the game designers. I am sorry that I cannot use my copy of the newly reprinted Dune board game and say “The Spice Must Flow!” Or to lose in Twilight Imperium with nine points and my next point not played in time, “But I would have had it!” Or to watch Greece build that last wonder in Mare Nostrum again, regretting my sudden invasion of Egpyt. And then I have all those beautiful desserts to serve in The Grand Austria revised board game. I usually do a basic “How to play Scythe” game that attracts all the folks who don’t want to admit they don’t know the game. It is fun to go back to the basics once in a while and teach a great game. Then, I would slip in a role-playing game, maybe with Matt, and be a hard-boiled 1920s detective chasing or being chased by unspeakable horrors!

Next year!

Wednesday started better than Tuesday, but I was still unsteady and tired. I managed to get going about 9:15ish and soon had breakfast done, and the blog, a concise blog, started. I was able to make some breakfast sausages by throwing them in a glass cooking bowl and putting them in the oven. I needed protein and other foods.

I watched some of Bloomberg as I felt a bit better. The Fed had raised interest rates to help Wall Street (increasing home mortgages to over 4% the next day is not helping most folks). I always find the actions of banks and The Fed not that helpful to my wallet.

After having some lunch, I took a short nap and was finally feeling better and took a shower and got dressed. The dizziness of the day before is gone. I am just tired from the chemo. Back to normal; that is this point in the cycle.

I took the cane and got into the car and forgot the keys. Back to the house and this time with a mask as the cold air, 50F, was impacting me. I turned up the heat in the car and soon was comfortable driving to Forest Grove Rehab and Care Center at 3900 Pacific Highway, Room 44A.

It is a sunny day with a warm sun. The smokers are out enjoying the fresh air while the sun is hot.

I get to see Susie in her room in bed after passing the questions and rituals to prove I do not have Covid-19. Susie is relieved to see me. She is scared of being alone here.

Susie is happy to see her mother on FaceTime and is relieved that I am back to see her. She tells me she does not know where she is and wants to come home. Susie is scared. I calm her down and get her to understand that she is safe and that I am too sick with chemo, which she understands, to care for her at home. Susie will have to be brave, and finally, she agrees that she can stay and that I will be there on Thursday.

Susan’s Aunt Joyce sent her some more flowers.

I could only do a short stay as I was getting tired again.

I managed to get a Carl’s Jr. Western Burger on the way back and suddenly felt much better. Not sure if it is the combination of getting moving and eating a burger, but I felt much better.

I did take another nap when I got home. After that, I ordered pizza for dinner. Thank you, Dale Drum, for covering that cost with a GrubHub card!

I then decided to watch Batman Year One, an animation of a comic book that is considered one of the more classic representations of the DC Hero. It was a bit basic for my tastes, and I was surprised the focus was more on the police than Batman. I liked Batman: The Long Halloween better, but this one was not bad and did not fall into jokes or lengthy voiceovers to make the story move.

I decided that I needed more rest and went to bed. No reading. Just tried to sleep, and soon I was asleep. I did wake up a lot, but I could roll over and go back to sleep.

 

This will be a short blog as I spent most of Tuesday asleep.

I had slept some, but I awoke very tiredly and weak. I could stand and walk, but it was a trial. I managed to get started and make coffee and then ordered bagels delivered as I wanted a lox bagel. I did have to slightly heat it in the microwave when it arrived, but it still was good.

I wrote the blog and watched some of Bloomberg’s coverage. I took my pills, and soon I had to sit down as I was too dizzy to stand for long. I had another bagel and crashed on my bed. I took a long nap and fell deeply asleep.

When I woke, I called Forest Grove Rehab and Care Center at 3900 Pacific Highway and asked to chat with the nurse caring for Susie in room 44A. Susie was asleep and was doing OK. They will let her know that I can’t make it in today. It did take me ten minutes on hold to get to the nurse.

I had some side effects and had to make sure that I could reach the restroom without complexity. That all calmed down after a while.

I got moving again after another nap and showered and dressed. I felt a bit better but still fatigued. I ordered dinner, chicken, from GrubHub. Rajani Khambhampati and Abhishek Belokar covered the cost today. Thank you!

The food helped, but I did, after watching PBS news, sleep the rest of the night. However, I did get up for a bit and played Darkest Dungeon on my apple to see how I felt. But, sleep was needed.

I finished the chicken with the 10PM pills. Pills must be taken with food. Back to crashing. Refused to move until the sun was bright. That could be a long time in Oregon.

So just a short story for Tuesday. Just needed to sleep.

I managed to start Wednesday at 9:20ish. It is a bright day.

Monday morning had me sleep into about 7ish. I was up and exhausted. It is tough to do anything, and this will be a short blog.

I made instant oatmeal, two packs, and added walnuts and dried cranberries. This took a while to consume as eating was making me tired. Coffee helped, but today was going to be harsh.

I managed nausea the day before, but I was ready, and yes, the other end decided to let loose, and I was now on different meds to manage that. That stopped all travel and most activities, to be honest.

I managed lunch somehow by ordering some chicken wings from Wild Buffalo Wings. Not sure I will go back to that. Also, I microwaved the carrots and celery. It does not improve the celery, but I can eat it then.

I called the Forest Grove Rehab and Care Center at 3900 Highway, talk to the rehab nurse, Nichelle, who cares for Susie in room 44A, and let her know I cannot make it in. Susie is good, and the hospice nurse saw her when I called.

I then had a few episodes of side effects and was freezing, so I went back to bed. I was surprised to sleep until 5ish. That sleep was more of a wake-up and roll over and sleep again than that restful.

I ordered Indian Food for dinner and forgot to order extra for Corwin. I used Rajani Khambhampati’s GrubHub card today. Thanks, Rajani! I am still eating well even with all the problems; leftover side effects of steroids.

I watched the war for a bit on PBS and Bloomberg, showing a massive shift of money into the 10-year treasury, forcing the yield way over 2.1, unexpectedly. Apparently, with the Covid mess now in China and the possibility of China supporting Russia and thereby invoking sanctions, investors are running for the hills (treasuries). Also, down in the depths of the news is the fact that a bunch of China ADRs (foreign companies can use an ADR to be traded on the American exchanges) did not pass their audits and will be delisted. Shenanigans again and there is also, again lost in the news, failing banks and land deal companies that were a current issue. Besides the war and Covid, a lack of transparency is causing a massive exodus of capital from the China markets.

I tried to read and sleep. I finally got up and turned on a game on my laptop, Darkest Dungeon. This was a Kickstarter I supported years ago and is a computer video game with basic graphics but with good sound. I have also supported a massive Kickstarter for a board game version; I just wanted the figures. I play this for a few hours, and the side effects of the 10PM dose slow, and I can sleep. I manage about five hours of sleep.